i had morals and boundries.i feel degraded and depressed.why did i do it? im a religious person and i feel this will effect me for so long because i know i should have kept it for true love...
2006-10-27 07:47:02 · 50 answers · asked by sansamour 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Don't worry too much ok? You are sorry, and God knows that. It means that next time an opportunity like that comes about you'll know what to do. Don't beat yourself up about it, what's done is done and you can learn from your mistakes.
And don't let the people on here get you down either, we've all done silly things. Plus that was just sex, it didn't mean anything, wait for your true love and it'll be totally different - it'll be making love.
2006-10-27 08:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by floppity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to forgive yourself, be willing to move on with your life and time will help with the rest.
Think of it as just a slip-up, it doesn't change the person you are or the person you were - you made a mistake and it doesn't mean you're suddenly immoral and out of control. Mistakes happen. It's like an alcoholic who slips up and has a drink - better to chalk it up to experience and get right back on the wagon than to go on a bender.
Don't worry too much about saving it for true love, things may work out better this way. Someone who genuinely cares for you won't be upset or leave you because you made one mistake in the past.
I gave my virginity to someone I was deeply in love with and it hurt me more in the long run than losing it to a one night stand would have because I'd invested so much more in the meaning of sex.
You will feel better eventually, in the meantime it would probably help you talk to someone - a friend, family member or a religious leader if you feel comfortable, or maybe a counsellor if you want something less personal and connected to your daily life.
Good luck.
2006-10-28 13:00:14 · answer #2 · answered by lauriekins 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we get caught up in the moment and when the moment is over we regret the choices we have made.
Your feelings are normal and it is natural to be confused. It is also natural to feel very bad.
You can't change the past and what happened, but you can learn from this experience for the future. You know now that you want to wait until you are in a committed, long-term relationship before you have sex again and you now better understand what you have been taught about your religion and your morals.
You can't change what you have done, but you have all the power in the world over what you can choose to do in the future. Commit yourself now to following your heart and doing the right thing from now on.
God is a loving God and he wants you to respect yourself and those around you. He will not judge you as a person because of what you did in one moment in time. He judges you based on what you do over the course of your entire life.
Maybe this one time you did something that you regret. But you can choose to do what you feel is right in the future. The true test of your faith is what you do now that you are experiencing these feelings of regret. Do you give up and toss away those morals or do you embrace those morals with a new conviction and understanding?
It is okay to make mistakes. It is how we handle those mistakes that show us what kind of person we really are.
2006-10-27 08:02:28 · answer #3 · answered by Tamborine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think you lost your “morals” as well. You didn’t.
Next time you go to church, pay attention. You will almost always hear the we are sinners. If we didn’t sin, we wouldn’t be sinners.
God will forgive you and your future husband better as well, or he isn’t worth marrying.
BTW, you didn’t “give” your virginity to that guy and he didn’t take it from you. It’s not a “thing” it is a “time.”
You simply were turned-on and wanted pleasure.
Don’t go off the deep end. If you think that now, since you lost your virginity, it doesn’t matter anymore, it does. Like I said, you didn’t lose your morals. Next time that you feel so turned on by a guy, just think about masturbating when you get home, instead. Once home, if you do or you don’t, you won’t feel so bad about yourself.
2006-10-27 08:02:27 · answer #4 · answered by Raylene G. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most important question "Why did I do it?" I'm afraid only you can answer. Once you've done that you'll have an idea how to get over it. You have to be honest with yourself and, sorry, but don't use religion sa an emotional crutch - its just an illusion that alows people to feel sanctimonious.
My guess is that you did it because you wanted to be more adult, grown up and experienced. Well now you are you have to deal with the cognitive consequences.
basically if you don't feel comfortable with a ONS don't do it again.
As for your virginity well it clearly wasn't worth that much to you.
2006-10-28 02:00:32 · answer #5 · answered by charlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about all the other people saying you should have thought about it, they don't help and they don't even answer your question, I truely think that the only way is to forget about it, someone will still love you for who you are with your regrets, you will forget about it in time, do other things to take your mind off of it and it won't come into your mind anymore. There are methods to help you forget about it but they all really just set your mind on something else, so choose whatever is best for you, thank god for forgiving you, because i know he has already. No one is mad at you, and god..the big man, he knows that you regret it, he's not mad, just keep believing in him because he still believes in you. Just be carefull in the future.. no doubt you will anyways, good luck with true love, forget about all these people saying you were wrong in the first place, almost everyone on here just tries to argue and explain how your question is wrong rather than answering your questions properly.
2006-10-27 12:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by Aaron 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You let yourself down, that's what's bothering you. Try to earn your own forgiveness. Resolve to do it differently from now on. You won't forget it, but if you can make it to marriage without doing it again then maybe you'll forgive yourself for it. You aren't perfect. There are many Saints who were once the worst of Sinners. You just made a mistake, don't beat yourself up too much. Some day if you can look back on your romantic history and only see this one asterisk, that's not so bad. Peace.
2006-10-27 08:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by John 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are hurting. You can't undo the past. You must forgive yourself. We ALL make mistakes. There are much worse ones you could've made.
As with all mistakes made, just learn from them and remember that you don't want to make that mistake again.
To help you do this, work out why you did it. That's the only way to avoid repeating your mistake.
Where you drunk?
Well you now know that alcohol impairs your judgement.
Where you feeling it was the only way to keep a guy?
You should know this never works - the right guy will wait.
Do you need to work on your self-esteem?
Was it peer pressure?
etc... etc.... only YOU will know the answer.
God will forgive you if you can forgive yourself. Believe me, He has plenty more people's souls to worry about who've done much much worse things!
Take care.
2006-10-27 07:52:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love has nothing to do with sex. Naturally sex is a part of true love, but don't beat yourself up over what if we all told the truth, most of us have done. You still have morals and boundaries and as a religious person will know that Jesus never judged anybody.
2006-10-27 08:05:45 · answer #9 · answered by luckybutdim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay strong. Don't punish yourself for this action. The fact that you have asked such a question demonstrates that you have morals and boundries, and have obviosly been brought up with high standards.
I am not very religious but what I do know is that most religions do not assume that you will not commit a sin and I hope your religion preaches forgiveness. So please forgive youself. No one else can.
Just remember you have not let anyone down other than yourself. You will only be able to move on in your life if you accept what has happened and lear from it.
Good luck and take care.
2006-10-27 07:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by Welshblade1 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋