Months ago, In a moment of weekness and dispair, I slept with one of my bestfriends who is involved with another friend of mine. I know we both were wrong and we have both decided to put it behind us but have no desire to give up our friendship. He is still with this other friend who is unaware of our past indescretion and I have found someone who I believe is my soul mate. I can tell my friend is a little jealous sometimes but I look past that and have encouraged him to do the same. I can see my new relationship developing into something spectacular and permanent. My friend and my bf have met and I speculate they will meet more in the future. My question is, do I tell my soul mate about this past indescretion or just forget it ever happened?
2006-10-27 07:31:21 · 15 answers · asked by QueenE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I should also mention that this thing with my friend happened before I met my boyfriend. Does that fall into the "what you did before we met doesn't matter to me" catagory?
2006-10-27 07:36:32 · update #1
This is a very difficult question, because what your dealing with are very honorable intentions,but you have to consider a few questions. 1) who am I going to hurt, if anyone, by being totally open,( sometimes discretion is the best policy),2)if I am open with the subject, will it be accepted or will it be held over my head for ever and make me and others miserable.? I envy you wanting to be honest, but consider the options first and make sure you can handle the possible consequences to your honesty and openness. Sometimes just taking it to God and turning it over to him takes away the burden we have to carry around. Good luck!!
2006-10-27 07:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you talk to you friend with whom you've slept with and reiterate the point that you do not wish this imparted to your new beau.
Is that being sneaky? No...not really. Your new friend was nowhere in your life prior to your indiscretion so frankly it isn't a concern. If your new boyfriend does find out and gets all worked up over it then I would suggest you look long and hard as to your wanting to stick around with him.
There are some things that are better left unsaid in life. This is one of them. You know what the problem with people are nowadays? They question as to whether or not they should divuldge this information. I do think that it was rotten doing what the two of you did to your friend/his girlfriend. I'm willing to bet that if you tell your new friend about the affair, he'll get ticked and tell the friend who was screwed over by you and your male friend. No? Maybe not? Could be but are you willing to take that chance?
Forget the whole thing if you're smart.
2006-10-27 07:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to disclose past indescretions, especially if the bf was not in the picture. Keep quiet.
2006-10-27 08:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by Sunspot Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to mention that you slept with your bestfriend so that your "soul mate" doesn't feel like a fool when your jealous bestfriend starts talking about how you were in bed in a moment of weakness.
2006-10-27 07:36:41 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Queen,
Things have a funny way of showing up when you don't need them.
One of the ways of ending up a sexual relationship is breaking off the friendship. This is hard, but mark my word of you don't it will come again and it will be harder to fight off.
Should you tell your soul mate, the thing is would you like him to tell you about his encounters? Particularly in this age and time of AIDS I would set up a date and say honey, today lets discuss sex...and then let it come...
In this way neither of you Will compare the previous sexual experiences with the other, you will be Happy with what you get, now that's honesty.
2006-10-27 07:37:46 · answer #5 · answered by Trinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would forget it ever happened....You both put it behind you...There are just some things that don't need to be said! plus, if you tell your new BF what happened he will NEVER trust you with that friend.....I would just keep it as a secret!! You don't have to disclose EVERYTHING to someone.
2006-10-27 07:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by Alesha W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here is a guys point... if he finds out later... he could be upset so tell him now, but do not go into much detail.
2006-10-27 07:37:35 · answer #7 · answered by on2try 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about it, are you going to tell him everybody you ever slept with?
2006-10-27 07:37:38 · answer #8 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with your boyfriend. I'm sure he'll understand and I'm sure you'll feel much better once you do tell him.
2006-10-27 07:48:01 · answer #9 · answered by Tina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie to your boyfriend. If he asks you, "Did you sleep with that guy?" then be honest. But, if he never asks, then just don't bring it up.
2006-10-27 08:03:21 · answer #10 · answered by ☆skyblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋