I miss mom so much?

Question

my mom died 2 mt's ago we were very close it still doesn't feel real 'I can't bear to think about her so I keep pushing the thought away' is that normal 'my sister is having a hard time excepting this too I want to help her 'but don't know how she won't even get with me to decide what to do with moms house and belongings.she lived with her most of her life and won't move back in their ,says shes homeless but can't bare to live their without her; I HAVE TOLD HER SHE CAN HAVE MOMS HOME IF SHE WANTS TO stay their 'I don't need it ;I own a home 'shes staying with her kids;one week with one the next with another'is it hopless '

Answer 1

You are both grieving. There is no "right way" to grieve.
Let her get her thoughts and emotions together. Maybe
right now she just needs the closeness and support of
her children. When she is ready, and her thoughts are
clearer, a more logical conclusion will be made.

2 months is no time at all. Give her a year, and even then
it may still be a fresh wound. Give yourselves time, that's all.

Answer 2

Firstly, I would like to offer my sympathies to your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it is for all of you. I do suggest you talk with your sister and explain that maybe her moving into your mom's homw would be a good way to preserve it and keep it in the family. Ultimately, it's your sisters feeling that need be considered, if she is uncomfortable give her time, let her grieve and bring it up again. If she is sure she can't bear to have the house around perhaps you can sell and use the money for a new home. Lastly, I do not think it is unusual that you are trying to push your thoughts away. Everybody has their own ways to grieve and handle pain. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

Answer 3

Keep some of her things that you'd like to remember her by. Put these things in a box, seal it up and leave it that way until you can heal. Sell the house, split the money or however you want to work it out. Give yourself at least a year if not more and things will come back into focus. You and your sister will start to talk about your mom, you can help each other. Its just too soon, it takes time. How fortunate that you had a wonderful mother, blessing to you both. Remember one day at a time.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry about your mom. It may sound trite, but it does get better with time - My mom died 10 years ago when I was 35, but I still think of her every day. Probably for the first half year or so I felt really raw and hurting, but then it got better. The stuff with your mom's house and things are probably covered by a will.
Keep close with your other siblings and family members - that helps a lot. Good memories will always come to the surface, and you will always remember your mom lovingly.

Answer 5

My mom's been gone almost a year, but we were expecting it, so it was easier for me and my 4 sisters to deal. It still doesn't feel real to me wither, and it's been a while. I wake up thinking it was all a bad dream. It's hard to think about them, and I guess it's OK to push it away for a while. My mom was only 48 when she died (sha had her first child at 20), but we had so many good memories of her.

I went to my mom's home and went through all her pictures, and things regarding us & her grandchildren, and separated them into piles, giving each sister thire own pile respectively. We then each chose one thing we wanted from her home. In going through all she saved for us, report cards, drawings, cards, pictures, we were able to smile & call each other and talk about those things she left - it will hurt, almost everyday, but soon the hurt will be replaced w/warm thoughts. Maybe you should try just thinking of a special time with her.

As for the home, why not sell it, and give the $$$$ to your sister to buy a new home? That might be helpful. You can't force someone to deal with things alike, and your sister is hurtiing now, maybe it will be a good thing for her to start fresh.

My sympathies in your time of loss.

Answer 6

It will be 8 years this January that I lost my mom and I have to tell you the first year was very difficult. My mom died while my wife was pregnant with our son. She never got to meet him. She was only 52 years old and I felt robbed. I felt my son was cheated out of knowing one of the greatest human beings I've ever known.

All you can do is be there for your sister, and let grief take it's course. It does get better with time, but if it doesn't for you and/or you sister you will want to tend to that before it turns into a depression. But feeling pain is normal and unfortunately necessary but it should be worse as time goes on.

May you mom rest in peace.

Answer 7

I understand entirely. My Mom died 3 years ago and I never realized then how much I would miss her. She was everything to me and I could go to her with any problem and she would always help me. My sister and I can't even deal with the holidays but we both know that she wouldn't want us to feel the way we do because she loves us very much. It is very hard. I wish you the best.

Answer 8

I wrote this, after my mother passed away.....

My Angel

I know of a very special Lady,
That has played a big part of my life.

There’s not a single word to describe her,
But I love her more than life.

She’s always been there for me,
Especially when I needed a friend.

No-matter how I changed through the years,
She always understood my trend.

Somehow she always knew what to say,
When I was in grief, agony, or pain.

Her love, kindness and smile were always there,
Especially when things I’d do seemed insane.

There is no other woman,
On this place we call earth.

That could possibly replace her love,
After all, she’s Mom! The lady that gave me birth.

By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra

Answer 9

to lose a mom , is the worse feeling in life. I'm so sorry for you .but honey time has such a funny way for treating the wounds,and only time can make things go better.everything in life start small and then get bigger, only sadness start very big and with time will get smaller and smaller .so tray to be strong and take some time and give your sister some time and everything will be OK. and sorry English is not that good.

Answer 10

bring your sister to moms house and go through the stuff. Keep what you like and give away the rest. Put the house up for sale and give your sister half,she can find a place. Or tell her to live there. fix it the way she wants. No parent wants their kids to be sad,but death is part of life.