he wants to, she doesnt
didnt she promise to be his "to have an to hold"?
2006-10-27 06:53:53 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and if she is going to violate her vows, why shouldnt he?
2006-10-27 06:54:20 · update #1
this is funny "Why would the husband want to cheat anyways if he loves his wife."
WHY WOULD A WIFE CUT OFF SEX IF SHE LOVED HER HUSBAND?
2006-10-27 06:59:36 · update #2
No, it's not permission to cheat, but it's permission to file for divorce. Sex is important to men. Women need to understand that.
Try marriage counseling. Find out why she doesn't want to have sex. If that doesn't work, file the divorce papers. But, don't cheat. Finish one thing before you start another.
2006-10-27 06:56:45 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
No, that does not give him the right to cheat. First of all, it is not in the vows that a spouse has to have sex with their partner. Second, I am sure the wife is not telling the husband to have an affair. All of that having been said, this marriage is in trouble. I do think that the wife should make an effort to make him happy. Counseling is needed immediately. They need to get to the root of this problem, before it is too late.
2006-10-27 07:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by Bill 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a tough one. I have been married for 9 years and I went through a phase were I was not too interested in sex and often told my husband no. He never pushed it but I know it was very difficult for him. Whether we want to admit it our not, woman and men are different in their view of sex. I wish I could explain that differently, but I cannot. But I think most people would know what I am talking about. Anyway, your wife may have some medical issues. I found out that my thyroid was off. I have been on medication for some time, but had not had it checked. This is a hormonal imbalance that may cause issues with sex drive. It also does run in families. (Once I was back on track as far as my thyroid goes, I have been very interested in loving my husband. In fact...he is often worn out. It has been a complete 180.)
I would suggest first of all that she sees a Dr. and make sure that everything is fine in this particular area. Also, depression, even mild depression may be at play. (Some people do not even realize they are depressed...they may be having difficulty dealing with something in there lives and it is causeing some emotional issue. Either way, check out the medical side of things and see a counselor. They can also help.
As for going outside of your marriage, that is your call. It may do more damage than good though. It mayl cause alot of heart ache, even if your wife never finds out. It is hard for some people to live with. If when all is said and done, and you still want to go outside of your marriage, then I would seriously think about a seperation. You can then test the waters and find out what you truely want and what you can truely deal with. I wish I could have given you a more definative answer...but it is truely up to you. Good luck
2006-10-27 07:50:12 · answer #3 · answered by KaLee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
And Didn't He Promise To Cleave ONLY Unto Her As Long As They Both Shall Live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
And by the way there are no good reasons to cheat , there are no bad reasons to cheat its the one cheating that has the reason within themselves also two wrongs dont in any way make a right , why does the wife refuse to have sex there is where a good reason could be understood if it is talked about . sounds like someone is looking for a reason to cheat , all that will do in the long run is cause bigger problems just for a few minutes of so called satisfaction , is this an emotional or physical need , question is , why would you want to cheat if you are married , that is where your reason not hers is.
2006-10-27 07:23:45 · answer #4 · answered by lilsis 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
to have and to hold does NOT mean sex. There are many people out there who have low sex drive or become asexual. This does NOT give the other permission to cheat!!! Why don't you suggest marriage counseling? There could be a deeper reason why the wife doesn't want to have physical relations.
2006-10-27 07:04:13 · answer #5 · answered by blueeyeskenai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not look to the bible for your answers? We've been given an awesome amount of direction in there. It's like an instruction manual for every aspect of our life. Take for instance 1Cor. 7:3-5 which says"Let the husband render to his wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to her husband. The wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, also, the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but his wife does. Do not be depriving each other of it, except by mutual consent for an appointed time, that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-regulation." So your wife should be giving you your due.It's wrong for her not to. But two wrongs don't make a right. Heb. 13:4 says" Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for god will judge fornicators and adulterers." Your wife already has some answering to do to god. I don't think you want to put yourself in the same boat as she. Just be strong and remember why you married her in the first place.
2006-10-27 07:49:33 · answer #6 · answered by mo92376 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No there is no excuse for cheating!
but the real question is why wouldn't the wife want to have sex with the person she loves so much!
that' puzzles me! I can see it if he want's it every day yeah we all need a little break!
but with holding sex for an issue is wrong! withholding sex for any other reason then health reasons is unexceptable!
I mean put yourself in his shoes his wife gave it to him before now she don't want it! well if i'm not giving it to her where is she getting it! men have 1 track minds! most of them!
if there is a problem in the bed room then that needs to be address! but if he wants to cheat then he don't really love you now does he!
and if you just don't feel up to pleaseing your man it makes me thing that you don't really truelylove him!
oh it's a dude okay you get my point!
I don't understand why you all got married security issues i guess! please don't take any of this to heart it's just what i see from the question.. and with my relationship i know he is the one i will marry! we love each other so much! we go a few days here and there with out sex but over all we enjoy it!
make sure that your pleaseing her!=
Mad luv
2006-10-27 07:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There could be a number of reasons for this woman,s lack of intimacy.Instead of thinking of just yourself and your needs why don't you try first talking to your wife,or romancing her or anything other than an affair.It's just going to make matters worse and if you really loved her you would only want to be with her so your cheating wouldn't resolve the real issue at hand just make matters worse.Pull out all the stops, if nothing,there is always therapy,but don,t give it all up with an affair.
2006-10-27 07:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think she is violating her vows and I don't think he has a right to cheat in that case
however
if you want a healthy relationship, sex is part of it, we are all human beings and if you deny that then things happen.
Personally I think a divorce or at least a separation is in order
doesn't sound like a healthy environment for either of then
But I really hate people who cheat in relationships, just break it off, save both of you from the trouble
2006-10-27 06:58:37 · answer #9 · answered by Karce 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The husband shouldn't cheat. Sounds like some highschool drama to me, rather than marriage issues. Why would the husband want to cheat anyways if he loves his wife. I would think their would be more respect for a wife than that.
2006-10-27 06:58:28 · answer #10 · answered by catch22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it doesn't, but it does give him permission to want to talk about this issue, perhaps with a professional as 3rd party. If he really wants to cheat after that because she still doesn't want to have sex, then I believe he should divorce this person before cheating (or ask his wife if he minded him having sex with someone else - she might not).
2006-10-27 07:13:22 · answer #11 · answered by Ego Fatigo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋