we have been together since 2004. in november 2005 we were ending the relationship b/c he was getting out of the navy and go back home to go back to college. well, the day after thanksgiving we got an unexcepted surprise. we found out i was pregnant. i told him he did not have to stay. however he felt the rigth thing to do was to stay . i had our daughter in aug. latley we have be fighting a lot b/c we both have different goals. i would like us to get married at one point. he is not sure that what he wants. next week we are moving to his home state. he knows i dont think its a great idea. we both love our daughter. he thinks if we move up there, things will be less stressful. but what does moving have to do with both want different things. he is happy of just living together as a family. i would like more in the near future. hell he cant even tell me that he loves me b/c that is a big step (that is what he said). i told him today this relationship is not working. he thinks it is.....
2006-10-27 06:24:51 · 3 answers · asked by jessica g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If what you are saying is true, then he is not a committed partner. Why would you move with him if he can't even express a genuine sense of love to you? That doesn't work. You realize this isn't a functional relationship, so forget about trying to convince him. He's not going to get it and getting married isn't going to make things any better. Just end it and move on. Don't relocate, don't give him sex, and other than his rights and obligations towards the child, emotionally detach yourself from this relationship. It sounds as if it was over before it ever started, so just be happy that you've got it figured out now rather than suffer through years of turmoil and have to face even a bigger mess later on, while having spent some of the best years of your life on a losing proposition. Move on and enjoy!
2006-10-27 07:04:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to sort out what you want first...you state that the relationship isn't working and then say you would "like to get married at one point".
It sounds like the real reason it isn't working is he has not a made a real commitment to you - that he committed to you because of the baby and stays because he wants to be part of his daughter's life, which while is commendable, doesn't mean he is in love with you. As long as you continue to play house with him, he is likely to be content to leave it at that for now.
If you don't want to move and the people who will be supportive of you and your baby are where you live now, you might want consider letting him move without you as a trial separation until you both sort out what you want for your futures. In the meantime, he would be financially responsible and you could seek child support.
There is nothing lonier than being in a relationship with someone and feeling alone and unloved; you not only are not happy now but are cutting yourself off from the possibility of future happiness. What kind of example would you be setting for your daughter to stay with a man that does not meet your needs emotionally. You both deserve better than that.
2006-10-27 13:46:31 · answer #2 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey lady,,, instead of writing this long book of a question, you need to just tell the dude its not going to work. Tell him what you wrote here.
If he says okay, then you're better off. If he says he wants to work on the relationship, then you have a decision to make.
TX Guy
2006-10-27 13:31:11 · answer #3 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋