I'm moving in with my boyfriend and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I'm 19 and he's 21. We've been together for nearly two years now and I still feel smitten. However, I am worried that love really doesn't last forever and he'll get bored once he comes home to me every single night forever. (we're getting a mortgage you see).
does love last? Can it work?
2006-10-27 05:52:54 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YES/
2006-10-29 23:18:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here is a novel concept. Get married before signing a mortgage.
There are some legalities which make marriage a good idea. These have nothing to do with love. First, presumably niether of you have all the money for the house. Therefore you are both putting money into the mix. If for some reason you split up later how do you get your money back. If you entered the mortgage as friends the courts will treat you as such and turn it over to civil juristiction. That is a slow process and it could take a long time to recover. Divorce court can force a sale for you to recover your money. Secondly, if married you can write joint survivorship provisions into the deed so the house stays out of probate in the untimely event of a death. A very short time in the real estate business taught me that you would be foolish to enter into a real estate deal with a guy to whom you were not married. It is a recipe for disaster. If you are making that kind of monetary commitment why not the emotional one as well?
You are already questioning whether it can last. The answer is yes. 30yr.s+ marriage says it can. The divorce rate says that is rare today.
Protect your input and investment. Get married. This will also confirm the total commitment to stay together till the very end.
2006-10-27 06:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband for ten years. we dated 5 years/lived together and then we've been married 5 years. Do you remember when you first got with your boyfriend how you'd get nervous and bubbly when he would come around or when he'd call you'd just fall in love with him all over again by the sound of his voice. Do you remember all those feelings of how you were so totally in love with him.
Well after ten years with my Husband I still have those feelings everytime he comes around. I think about him all day. Write him little love notes and tell him 100 times or more a day that I Love Him More Than Anything In This world.
Honey, If you love this man believe in him and believe in you relationship and never let anyone talk you away from the love of your life. Ask your self this question everytime you dought a change with him . Like moving. Do I love him? If you can answer that with a YES Then you are making the right decsion. No matter how broke you two are or hungry or rich. Love will keep you together and love will bring you through the toughest storm together. My Husband and I have had really hard times but those hard times made our love stronger.
And don't worry about him getting bored with coming home to you every single night. If he truley loves you then that will be the highlight of his day.
I hope everything works out for you. I know you are scared. You are young. But Honey trust me . You will be fine and yall will make it. God Bless You and Be With you always
2006-10-27 06:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by littlered 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say you have lots of courage. You're both so young and have not lived enough.
In any case this is your choice and I wish you the best of luck.
It is very possible to stay in love for a long time but there will be rocky moments.
It's true that queasy feeling lasts a short time bu your love for one another can last a lifetime if you are courageous, adventurous and have mutual respect for one another.
The secret to a good relationship is not to posses.
Allow space in your lives. Have an open relationship. Talk about every subject and never fear of your feelings.
Be interested in each others passions and discover new things together.
We fail to remember that there is not forever you must live the moment
2006-10-27 06:02:32 · answer #4 · answered by uma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will both change and grow over the years but yes it is possible to do this togehter. When the bad times are a hovering then always keep communicating.......this is so very important and be prepared to work through this together. Honesty and trust are the fundemental ingredients to survival.....you must nurture these and the rest will fall into place for you can not stay in love without total trust. You are right to take this seriously it is a big step but we all go into things with good intentions.
Good luck and hope it works out.....for it certainly can and if you stay positive it will.
2006-10-27 05:59:27 · answer #5 · answered by pink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my husband were the same age as yous when we got together. we lived very smitten for nearly 15 years and 3 children later. sadly my husband died a few months ago he was only 37, i miss him very much and am so sad, but very thankful i had an amazing time just being near him, it does take some work though to keep the flame burning . keep a hold of that, if its real love yous will always be in love xx good luck!!
2006-10-27 08:46:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have been married for 22 years and lived together for a year before that. If anything we are deeper in love now than we ever were.
If both partners really try love grows. Being married is a tough job and you have to work at it 24/7. As you grow to know someone you love should deepen. If it does not then it might not have been love to start with.
I know a couple that recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and they are more in love now than when they got married. Another couple recently celebrated their 45th and they say the same thing.
If it is truly love to start with and if you work side-by-side 24/7 you can make love grow and make it last forever.
2006-10-27 06:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by SevenZulu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course true love lasts. But only time will tell. One of the main things never to do when moving in together is become complacent with each other and start taking each other for granted. If you are to have a truly loving relationship you should be able to talk freely and truly to each other about any subject and without preconceived ideas or judgements.
2006-10-27 05:59:31 · answer #8 · answered by Graeme C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can last forever. The part that changes is the "in love" part of the feeling. As you become more comfortable with one another & get used to things the initial passion changes into a more
calm, relaxed sort of feeling. Still love just different.
2006-10-27 09:17:52 · answer #9 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For most there is a point at which the "in love" feeling is replaced by a different kind of love for that person. But you are wise to be worried, alot of men do get bored and look for a thrill after a while. Not all of them, though. Good luck.
2006-10-27 06:07:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it lasts and can work. Not that it isn't hard some times, but there has to be a committment. If your love is deep, he will look forward to coming home to you every single night. That's why poeple have 50, 60, even 70 year wedding anniversaries!!!
2006-10-27 05:56:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋