2006-10-27 05:27:07 · 8 answers · asked by tom&I 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Being nice is not what's causing people to take advantage of you! Please don't stop being nice. What you need to learn is how to set up proper boundaries in your life, so that people who are nice will be able to have a great relationship with you, but people who are not nice will know to stop.
There is a great book on this subject which changed my life - it makes all of this very clear. The name is "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I got it at my library, you can also find it at any bookstore. Good luck and God bless!
2006-10-27 06:09:21 · answer #1 · answered by I Love to Read 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to learn to care more about yourself and your feelings. I have been walked all over my entire life for being too nice, and it took me until i was 21 to learn to stand up for myself and others. I sat back and watched myself being taken advantage of. You need to learn to say no, and start paying attention to yourself. You are probably so nice that you think of others before yourself (which is what most of us "nice people" do). Start telling yourself in your head what would happen if you say no, or say yes, and who it would benefit most. If it could cause problems, say "I am sorry, but I can't do that, it really doesn't do anything for me or anyone else" or "I am sorry, but I really can't". You dont have to go into details, it can turn into sounding like a lie. Be appreciative and use discretion, as well as be nice and apologetic, because they will feel more apt to come to you again for something else, and it may be something that you are willing to do and not being taken advantage of. Remember that you matter too, and being taken advantage of and walked all over doesnt do anything good for your self confidence. Good luck, I have been there so many times, and I eventually blew up from being so sick of it, and that isnt the right ay to go. Dont bottle it up like I have, it could turn out badly.
2006-10-27 05:38:10 · answer #2 · answered by overwhelmed85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know when to say no. It's hard.. I was like that still am sometimes. When you don't want to do something or go somewhere you need to be able to say no or let them know you have other plans.. I'm sure you have changed plans just so you can please someone else. If they are your friends or family they will still love you if you say no.. I think we feel like we will disappoint someone so we keep giving.. I'm not saying to say no all the time because it's hard to quit cold turkey. Just don't be so available and choose things you want to do and say no to the things you don't want to do. Good Luck
2006-10-27 06:26:06 · answer #3 · answered by Shy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn how to say "No". I have a friend who has this problem and after repeating this phrase over and over to her, she finally learned how to stop being a doormat. Hang some notes up with that on it...
2006-10-27 05:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by serious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a total a s s hole to EVERYONE. They will think you will kick their a s s if they try to take advantage of you. They will be too scared of you to even try.
2006-10-27 05:30:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
start being a little more meaner because i had to my own family don't like me bacause i got meaner but they did not like me before so eitha people like u 1 way or no way at all be yourslef just a little more meanr
2006-10-27 05:31:25 · answer #6 · answered by Antinitra B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speak softly and carry a big stick
2006-10-27 05:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by leo b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
learn how to say nooooooo
2006-10-27 05:30:38 · answer #8 · answered by melissa_williams31379 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋