He says that he wants me only, but I'm not convinced. His car is in the shop, but then when it gets out, he is planning to stay in the state he's in & get a job instead of joining us where we moved after the seperation. Now I find out that he (he says he was only "venting") called & has her coming over a woman that he had a brief affair with about a year & half ago...I'm devestated...what to do??? 15 yrs of marriage this june...he has my two boys w/him...I have the girls...please help.
2006-10-27 05:24:14 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to seek pro help on this. Go to a counselor for yourself. Talk it out. Do you want this man? You are separated, so obviously you may not want this man. You need to figure that out. If you don't want him, file for divorce and get a good attorney. If you do want him, move back to where he is and do everything you can to save your marriage.
2006-10-27 05:26:53 · answer #1 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound good for you or the kids. It sounds like it is OVER and you need to face it and move on. But first I suggest that you sit down and talk. Work out an agreement with the best interest of the kids as the top priority.
Why should brothers and sisters live apart? Just because it is easier for both of you?
I would never ever agree to split kids up (unless they are not his)?
Men always seem to want the boys in a divorce or separation and only when they are older and easier to care for. These kids should not have to suffer just for the bad choices you both made. It is never there fault.
You could be causing more mental and emotional damage to the kids than you realize. They need to live together.
Sit down and talk. Try to get help or at least see a therapist a few times if he is willing.
If your relationship can not be fixed work for the health of your kids and then move on.
2006-10-27 05:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by Nevada Pokerqueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been very close to where you are now, except we had one child (6 yr old girl) and we didnt move anywhere, but we just got stressed. After 11 1/2 years. We are now divorced, the woman he "cut ties with", still calls him and text messages him. I felt I couldnt go on because I had waited for him. But I seen that he wasnt wanting just me, so i have moved on. It has been very recent, and its extremely hard. I know I should seek a support group or something that will help me. He still says he loves me and hasnt come to grip that we are divorced. He really tries to get in my head, he will if I let him. You have to be strong and think about your children, you will never be totally free of him. Thats the hardest part. When someone dies, you are forced to get over them, but when someone divorces, you are still around them, and whoever they may be with. Its not easy at all. i have to say that I hope the best for you and your family. If you can work things out, that would be great. I hope you all the luck, and I do know from experience. Sometimes I have to remind myself.
2006-10-27 06:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly you shouldn't seperate your children like that, think of them in this situation they should be together. Secondly, why can't you move to him? If he gets another job and it's more stable and better than maybe you should consider it. As for as the other woman let him know that either he's going to repair your marriage or not but he needs to be up front with you about it.
2006-10-27 05:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by bettyspagettii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are seperated, you have to focus on why you seperated in the first place. Was it due to his lack of attention, focus on what he wants? Or was it simply due to space and time? If he is calling someone else that he has previously been involved with I would say that is your answer. If he says he wants you only, that just means he wants his cake and to eat it too.
Hope this helps!
Amy
2006-10-27 05:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be praying for you!
If people seperate it usually doesn't mean anything good will come of it. seperation only gives you time to explore other people etc...I hope it's not the case but I believe he has moved on. It's sad but again I will be praying for you...trust in that!
2006-10-27 06:30:06 · answer #6 · answered by wanting to know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to have moved on, maybe you should start thinking about doing the same. Its hard but you have to realize that having this ex affair over isn't just talk.....Keep your eyes open, your gut is telling you what to do but your heart isn't listening! Get them in sync....
2006-10-27 05:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably stay seperated, and start a new life..It's sad since you have children, but sounds like he is not true blue at all. You deserve better, and so do your children. When he cheats you, he is cheating them also.
2006-10-27 05:28:21 · answer #8 · answered by janet r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember you are separated, and may be that is why, he wants to be out their. Don't get yourself, all bent out of shape, over him, forget him, yes it may be hard. But to keep your own sanity, it is not worth it. Concentrate on your children, and move on with your life. You are what is important, so start to put your self first. Work on you! and do the best that you can for your children!
2006-10-27 05:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have tried to keep your family together for this long to no avail. And he is seeing another woman I say let it be, but if you do go back don't be a fool watch him like a hawk.
2006-10-27 05:30:11 · answer #10 · answered by dreamsjv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋