Mom in law inteference?

Question

My mom-in-law as told by husband is very nice at heart. We lived with her for couple months and sometimes she seemed very nice and sometimes not a very pleasant person. My husband understands it but he has an explanation that circumstances were different. It just seems to me that she has a hard time letting her son go. I dont know what to do. I tried talking to my husband about it. He seems like he understands but I dont see anything change in her behavior. She calls everyday 2 or sometimes even 3 times. I feel like I am married to my husband and her. He talks to her everyday and for some reasons it bothers me because I thought any mom-in-law would understand newly weds and give them some time for themselves. She HAS to call early in the morning and then late at night. We both are working and the only time we get is mornings and evenings and once this call comes I get ticked off. I dont want her to stop calling but atleast not 2 or 3 times a day and discuss every damn thing.

Answer 1

sounds to me like you have yourself a mama's boy they don't change so get use to it.. If you have told him it bothers you and he still isn't doing anything about it you either have to accept what it's worth or move on from personal experience i know its hard as hell to live with a mama's boy

Answer 2

Ohhh Honey........
Sounds like Mom is a control freak and feeling a bit insecure now. She was allways #1 and confident in that knowlege, Now there is a new #1 vying for position and she is unwilling to give up her slot and move to #2. More than likly she hasnt a clue what shes doing (Most Mom's don't) She probably fears the loss of her son's love and attention and grasps every opourtunity to solidify that security blanket. Remember its scary to get older and its very difficult on Mom's when the kids grow up and move out and get their own lives and no longer need the constant guidence of their loving Mother. We Mom's often feel lost and lonly and scared about where our place is in the world and so we reach out and basically become a pain in the butt! Sadly you and your husband must discuss this together and then you and he will have to gently get it across to her that not every day is OK to call that you 2 have alife tobuild now, that she is still important in his and your life but that you 2 need the space to start building your lives together and to deal with lifes challenges together. She may be hurt for a while and blame you for putting a rift between her and her son, Thats ok its normal, she'll pout for a while but she'll get over it. But now this is the key.......your husband must be on the same page as you and must be firm with his mom or it won't work. you will need to sit him down and very loveingly and gently explain to him that it is hurtful for you to play second fiddle to his mom especially when your time is so limited as a couple. Ask him to either not asnwer the phone when she calls (get caller ID!) let her leave a message, have him get back to her on HIS time if its really important. She will get the hint eventually and if not you will end up having to blatently honest and upfront with her.
In themean time get the book "The 7 principles of marriage" its a good one when you're starting out fresh and new

Good luck

Answer 3

I agree she is too sticky. She should leave both of you alone. The son should do the calling.....once in 3 weeks. YOu have to show her you are an adult by telling her not to call the way she's calling. Tell her your husband will call her. Your husband, unfortunately is a mama's boy.

Answer 4

I am a mother in law...I live 900 miles from my grown kids...so I am not in their everyday lives....when I go to visit I stay at their homes for a few days each...I have 6 kids...the wives resent me being there...my sons go along with them to keep the peace..But I get to visit with the grandkids.....I think its a newlyweds privilege to be alone...The mother in law should wait for her son to call her...It wiould be wise of her to get closer to you...and if you are smart you will let her stay close..she will be a great babysitter...and someplace soft to fall when you have financial woes.
Tell your husband if you can in a tactful, respectful way that certain times of the day are for you two....and you resent her interferrence.
If he wants you he won't answer the phone when she calls..he will call her back when it is more convenient..And he can explain this to his mother...she will talk when he calls back or not at all...
her choice

Answer 5

OMG! Are you married to the Dominguez Family!? Your mother-in-law sounds exactly like mIne! I have been married for 6yrs and with him for 8 and nothing has changed! She acts like she runs everything and my opinion never counts.........pisses me off.....I am just to the point that I don't even talk to her..........long, long story.........if you want to know you can e-mail me([e-mail]) And it will get worse when you have children, I have a 2yr old and a 4mo. old and she does whatever she wants with them and just ignores what i ask of her.......so now my kids are not allowed at her house alone....

Answer 6

You will never get between him and his mother...so....
Turn off the ringer on the phone when you get home from work. Turn it back on in the morning as you are leaving the house..
If she calls and can't get through , she wil have to call him at work.... I don't think they will put up with that.....or that he will have the time to talk....

Answer 7

Spinner gave you the ABSOLUTE BEST ADVICE. Trust me, I know!!!!!
Prayer helps TREMENDOUSLY!!! Because God's order for the family is God--Wife---children---church---extended family (mom, dad, aunts uncles,etc)- ...Since it is God's divine order for married couples, then pray that he helps the situtaton turn around....trust me, it's going to take God to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!