I do not no where to start. I am 5 months pregnant and my husband and I are not really speaking.?

Question

This pregnancy was planned but I started feeling really wierd,sad,and angry. At my brother in Laws wedding he totally ignored me,I would wake up and he would already be out of the hotel,he suggested I stay in the hotel with our 2 year old son so he does not make the bride to be mad if he talks during the ceremony,and he planned meetings on the last day of our trip. We agreed we would try to make this a vacation as well as a wedding trip. But he totally ignored me. SO I privately cursed him out and would send him cursing texts. He says he's never been talked to like that. It turns out that I have antepartem depression and I am also bipolar so I really over reaacted on the trip.I am now on meds and counseling and doing well.But now months later he is still very cold to me.Last month he said he can't handle my illness and he MAY want a divorce. We do not speak unless necessary, and I asked him for sex and he says no.This is so hard to deal with. I have my own struggles and preg! Help!

Answer 1

It's good that you have been diagnosed and can deal with that but maybe you both need some counseling to go along with it. A brand new diagnosis and a baby on the way...that's a lot to handle all at once. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Continue on your meds and get into counseling with you and your two year old son. Your husband obviously has forgotten the saying "in sickness and in health". Being depressed while pregnant is not anything new for most women. We all go through it. While being bipolar isn't fun your medications will help allieviate some of your illness. And counseling will help as well. Your husband sounds like he also is having issues. What's sad though is that your behavior really wasn't your fault. You weren't diagnosed until after the vacation/wedding and he has no reason to hold your marriage over your head nor hold you accountable for how you acted when a doctor has diagnosed your illness.

Answer 3

You have several things that you must deal with.
First your health.. which you are looking after.
This is important for you, your son and your child who is coming into this wold.
I feel that your husband has not kept up his part of the bargain. Just because you are ill, does not mean that you desert someone. He should be at your side to help you through all this especially the pregnancy. He helped to create this baby and he is just as responsible as you are....
It sounds like he has already made his choice and is distancing himself from you.
It is time to ask him the question...Does he want to stay married? You need to know and now before the baby is born...If he wants to leave , get yourself to a good female lawyer who can protect your interests and make sure you are provided for properly because of your illness.....
I am sorry that he is being so irresponsible, but some men just can't cope or never learned to cope with crisis and just remove themselves from the situation. This is their way of dealing with it.
I wish you luck., but be prepared for what you might hear from him, it might shock you....

Answer 4

Oh my heart really goes out to you.
Depression, without pregnancy is hard to deal with but you are depressed in pregancy and that must be very hard for you.

Are you under the care of a good doctor.
I can understand how you must have felt when you were cursing or cussing him but you may need to sit down and tell him that you are sorry and that the reason why you are reacting (or acting) this way is because of your depression and bi polar condition. Your husband needs to know that, right now, you are not the same person because you are highly affected by changing hormones, chemicals, etc.

I think your husband is very hurt and confused and may be acting this way because he is finding it all too hard and stressful,
but then, so are you.
Do you have someone who could help you with your young two year old?
Is there anyone you can talk to about this?
You really need to be sharing this with someone, seeing that you are pregnant. You don't need all this stress at this time.

Your said your husband, can't handle your illness, but he didn't say he can't handle you!!
I would suggest that the two of you speak to your doctor about this and see if he could refer you both to a specialist or counsellor.
You are both really hurting and stressed at the moment.
Because of your pregnancy,I really feel as though you need to be receiving some extra tender loving care.

It would not be good to see this marriage end in divorce. You both have something wonderful to look forward to.
You have a lot going for you both and I really feel as though you need to put in all you have to save this marriage(even in your illness) but please seek some outside help.
take care. ps There are special counsellors who can help you with post-partum and depression in pregnancy.
: )

Answer 5

Sounds too me like YOU should be the one saying a divorce might be in the near future! Your husband is being a jerk. you got help for your problems, ask him whne he plans on getting help for his!! He ignored you the entire time you two were on what was suppose too be a vacation..Didn't even want you at the wedding of his brother? What is up with your husband? Is he hiding something from you? like maybe an affair? It sounds really strange too me, but hey..take my advise and DO NOT ask your hubby for sex! It's degrading too you and he dang well knows that. I think you need too tell your husband you are thinking about getting a divorce if he doesn't straighten his act up. and if he doesn't...then do it! No woman should have too put up with that crap!

Answer 6

You have your hands full. Sorry to hear that. At least now you'll start feeling better--undiagnosed Bi-polar is hard to deal with. For your husband too. Definitely get counseling. And be prepared for the chance of divorce. Know a good lawyer in case you need one. Good luck with the baby! And the marriage!

Answer 7

I cant believe he wont to stick through your sickness after all the vowel says through sickness and health and this is something minor in your marriage if he doesnt want to stick around dont make him because you need someone loyal do what you have to do to deliver a healty baby keep taking the medication keep doing the counseling keep being a wonderful mom and wife to him as long as he is around but dont make him stay you deserve better he should stay because it is the right thing to do not because you asked him to he is a jerk draw close to God and your family get support from those who are willing to support you in your struggle

Answer 8

Anybody who goes to the extreme of "texting" obscenities is certainality whacked.

I'm sorry. Your conduct is reprehensible and as usual there always is some type of problem that requires a shrink and meds. Just what do you think women did in the 20's?

This is a sorry state of affairs.

Answer 9

I just went through a similar ordeal. We are getting a divorce... Sad to say but I would anticipate the worse and make preperations for the worst case now! Make sure you have the funds ready should you need to leave or he as you to... Good luck and God Bless you!

Answer 10

so you are saying you have a depession problem..and who was the doctor and your on meds and pregnant ...you may be depressed from your being preg..and your marriage and not all this other medical stuff...your husband needs to grow up and take responsibility for his marriage and his children and your cursed and sent him all of this ..well we are mad and we are preg and we are getting treating like dirt he is lucky your his wife..please take care of your self and get another opinion my dear this is not going to help matters blaming your saddness on this med jive...sit down and get his attention and go to another doc and revaluate these disorders meds and preg do not mix,,,,good luck miia