any poets out there? wanna do me a massive favour?

Question

Okay.... so I'm reaalllllly bad at writing poems and it'd help me so much if somebody could write me a poem in a sort of upbeat amusing way. I mean not like a depressing poem or meaningful, just a bit silly and funny. (if you know either of the poets, John Agard or John Hegley, poems in the style of them!)
Thankyou so much if you can!!! oh and it can be about anything!

hahaha lol in reply to gremlins limerick (whihc wos rather funny and yes very good) okay it can't be about ANYTHING it needs to be suitable to hand in to my English teacher!

Answer 1

This is called a limerick:

There was a fat guy called sunny,
He liked to finger his pet bunny,
He bit of it's dick,
Which was quite sick,
But his mom thought it was funny.

The Rhyming pattern is AABBA

*I made it up meself. Is funny no?

**You said it could be about ANYTHING

Answer 2

My lame 10 minute crack at it.....

It's my first poetic endeavor.
And it really has taken forever.
I want you to like it, I hope that you do
I hope you can see, I do have a clue
And I'm trying my best to be clever

I believe this poem deserves an "A"
But it may not get it, to my dismay
I can accept a "B", or maybe a "C"
I just want to get done and watch TV
But here I sit, still writing away

So you want me to be poetic?
I promise that you will regret it.
Reading this poem is a waste of your time.
I have no style, I can not rhyme.
Now you can see it's really pathetic.

Answer 3

How to write POETRY.

No infallible advice can be given on how to write a poem. Poets develop their own approaches in time. Nonetheless, here are a few exercises to generate the raw copy.

http://www.poetrymagic.co.uk/approaches.html

Poetry

•How to Write a Bio Poem (3+)
•
•How to Write a 5W Poem (2+)
•
•How to Write an I Am Poem (3+)
•
•How to Write a Name Poem (3+)
•
•How to Write a Cinquain (1+)
•
•How to Diamond Poem (2+)

http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Love-Poem

http://www.canteach.ca/elementary/poetry.html

http://www.poetryclass.net/


NOTE : Though this article contains some advice on how to write poems ,it is by no means intended to show "how to become a poet", even less "how to become a GOOD poet". .Neither does it cover EVERY aspect of writing poetry. It is intended to help people who HAVE to write poetry - for class or to impress someone maybe.

The results will probably not be "great art", but o.k. for people who otherwise would have been completely lost.

http://www.msrogers.com/English2/poetry/30_days_of_poetry.htm

http://www.writenet.org/virtualpoetrywrkshp.html

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A396803

http://www.emule.com/poetry/

http://www.ilovepoetry.com/

How to Write Poetry

http://www.gruts.com/archive/2004/08.php?ref=08a

http://www.poetryexpress.org/ ( POETRY REVISION )

http://www.gpc.edu/~shale/humanities/composition/handouts/poetryaloud.html

Good luck.

Kev, Liverpool, England.

Answer 4

once upon a midnight dreary, while i porn surfed,
weak and weary,
over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour,
" 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!".....
quoth the server, 404.