This is the dilemma: I used to have a dream about having a certain future... A future that was not really going to be happening for me, just because I had too much of fantasy what concerned love and life. (I was 17y)
Now 12 y later I found out that the person that I had this fantasy about, had exactly the same fantasy as me (and still)... We lost contact a few times during the years, but lately we talk a lot to eachother about anything and it really feels like a good friendship...
The only thing is that I do have a boyfriend (already for 7y now). And he is great too. But at the moment we are going to a rough time. I don't want to loose him because I really love him. (and I would never cheat him)But I sometimes miss the fireworks I heard about and I wonder if I should listen to what my heart told me all those years ago.
Is this foolish? Is there something like faith. Finding the one true love? Or is it just crap, and should I settle for what I have instead of what I could have?
2006-10-27 04:24:58 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
PS I live with my bf for almost 6y now. and we not intend to marry. which does not mean we don't want to commit to eachother... (my point of view anyway)
2006-10-27 04:39:32 · update #1
don't settle, but make sure that this is not a fantasy. Why didn't this guy make a move on you years ago? maybe you are having problems with your bf because you may be distancing yourself from him.
bottom line is this take the other guy away from the picture, are you happy with your current bf?? If not , then you deserve to be happy. Life is too long to be with someone who does not make you happy.
2006-10-27 04:29:18 · answer #1 · answered by princesscutesmile 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is all about taking risks
obviously u dont love this person ur with too much or u wouldnt be thinking of the other guy but in ur case i would say thats a hard descion: Giving up something special for so many years or leaving it behind and starting over with some one new that u have no clue how it will turn out !!! Do what ur heart tells u.
2006-10-27 11:31:32 · answer #2 · answered by ~*CoUnTrY gIrL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have questions: Why are you not married to this boyfriend of 7 years? Do you live together? Does he intend to make you his wife?
I see the first problem being a lack of commitment which is why this new temptation is so tempting. If you were married, I doubt you'd think twice about this. (at least I hope not) So without knowing the answers to the above, I can't say much more I guess except follow your heart and know that this is YOUR life before anything else.
2006-10-27 11:28:44 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This dilemma has no obvious answer. I could tell you that either of the paths in front of you could possibly be the way you were meant to travel. However, without knowing details of the situations with your current relationship or that of the third party mentioned, I cannot advise you to go either way. What I can share with you is how I would go about making the decision. This really works. I know because I have done it many times. Stop thinking about the situation. Stop following your feelings. Stop doing everything that YOU are doing and give it to God. Ask Him to let His will for your life be done. He loves you very much and He actually knows what is best for you and He wants you to have it. Having said that, who knows, maybe His will is actually neither one of the individuals. Just ask Him and be patient. If you truly wait for His loving direction, you will be happier than you could ever be on your own direction. Trust in Him. I wish you the best!
2006-10-27 11:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by messenger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man is a fantasy and should stay that way. Your current boyfriend has been there in person, taking care of you, loving you here in reality. What you may see as the perfect fantasy man, will turn out to be not what you expected. You've created this image in your mind of what you think you want, but if that's true, then you wouldn't have chosen your current boyfriend, whom you've been with for 7 years.
2006-10-27 12:16:16 · answer #5 · answered by St. Louis Rams Chick 1976 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already have a companion you love. Why searching for another one, even he said to you he had the same dream. Maybe he is lying about this ( you were the first to told him about your dream, right?)
You spent 7 years with your boyfriend and you admit that he is a great guy?
The spark you talk about usually don't last for the entire life, but it matters if you still trust him, share with him what you feel when you are having a hard time and so on....
If you would said that you aren't get along with your friend....But you care and appreciate him. Don't search love in other side.
2006-10-27 11:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by sergiu m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your current 7 yr boyfriend doesn't know you are talking to fantasy boy....in my book you are already cheating. tell your boyfriend whatever it is that is making it "tough" for yo right now. I promise you in 7 yrs with fantasy man you will miss the fireworks again, fireworks are not all they are "cracked" up to be, forgive the pun. don't create drama, try to work on what you already have that you know is good. the grass is always greener till you get there. don't mess up a good thing for something you don't know anything about other than you had a dream...be smart. a bird in the hand......
2006-10-27 11:33:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very complicated, torn between 2 love interests is always complicated. Somebody is going to get hurt in this. And I can tell you that your boyfriend is probably going to be more hurt because you are already involved with him. Ask yourself, Can I take a risk? Am I willing to hurt somebody love to be with somebody I love? I'm afraid that this is a question that you are going to have to answer yourself. But whatever decision you choose, whether it be old or new, dont let anybody judge you. You have a right to be happy.
2006-10-27 11:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by //// 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fireworks as you call them, is the first part of every relationship, that then turn into real love (if you are lucky) and that real love should fill the space left by the fireworks.
If you really miss the fireworks, them maybe is not really love, or you might end, going from relationship to relationship just to have the fireworks
2006-10-27 11:36:18 · answer #9 · answered by gone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try it for one night to see ... if there are fireworks then it's either 4th July or it's the real thing!
if your relationship is going through a bad patch, you should either end it and start afresh with this "Mr. Wonderful" or talk it through and work things out.
2006-10-27 11:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋