This is the dilemma: I used to have a dream about having a certain future... A future that was not really going to be happening for me, just because I had too much of fantasy what concerned love and life. (I was 17y)
Now 12 y later I found out that the person that I had this fantasy about, had exactly the same fantasy as me (and still)... We lost contact a few times during the years, but lately we talk a lot to eachother about anything and it really feels like a good friendship...
The only thing is that I do have a boyfriend (already for 7y now). And he is great too. But at the moment we are going to a rough time. I don't want to loose him because I really love him. (and I would never cheat him)But I sometimes miss the fireworks I heard about and I wonder if I should listen to what my heart told me all those years ago.
Is this foolish? Is there something like faith. Finding the one true love? Or is it just crap, and should I settle for what I have instead of what I could have?
2006-10-27 04:24:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you feel hat you are settling, then for God sakes girl get out. You should never feel that way about someone in your life. The lust and fireworks only stay for so long and eventually turn into a smaller burning but constant flame......
What you had was a long time ago., It is nice to dream and have a fantasy.. but reality is what you live in.
If you are not feeling the connection to your bf, then why are you with him. He is not an old slipper that feels comfortable, he should be your rock, your soft place to fall, your best friend, your equal and your other half.....
It is very simple and basic, if you don't have these feelings for him. let him go and find it .. You owe it to him and to yourself.. not to be feeling stuck in something...
Remember, if you are looking for things to get out of the relationship... you have already left it behind.... happy hunting.....
2006-10-27 04:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thought that enters my mind is...Why haven't the two of you married yet?
What ever you decide...make it a decision you know you will never regret.
Either way you go, its a possibility of someone getting hurt. Make a wise choice...Remember, you live once, but everything deserves a fair chance. I would choose the one that i know in the long run, i would not look back on, and wonder about what could have been.
Honestly, I would try to work it out with the 7 yr. bf...7 years is a long time to be together, and throw it all away for something that might be. If the fantasy guy remains as a friend, and if things really don't end up working with the current bf, then you would be free to pursue a relationship with him. Meanwhile, you can become fully re-acquainted with the guy...
2006-10-27 04:43:56 · answer #2 · answered by Patience 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would happen if you left your current boyfriend of seven years for the 17 year old fantasy with this other guy only to find out that he is nothing like your fantasy. You will have given up what you say is a wonderful man that you really love and is great. Don't let a little rough time cause you to look in another pasture for greener grass.
2006-10-27 04:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was recently in a similar situation. i have been with the same man for 5 yrs and a few months ago i had met someone that made me feel the fireworks and butterflies that every relationship loses after a while.
I admit I did go on a few dates with him (nothing sexual) and i know it was wrong but i realized that i love my man and I didn't want to lose him even though we have been going through a rough time for a long time.
i'm not saying go on a date with this other guy but you should just step back and re-evaluate your relationship and figure out if this other man is worth leaving your current guy for.
2006-10-27 04:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never settle for less than you have because you make your life what it is if you are stressing about he 7 year guy take abreak or really look in your heart do you see a future with this guy i believe eveyone has a sole mate and needs a true love and one is out there for everyone so look in your heart and see what you find
2006-10-27 04:29:10 · answer #5 · answered by vomissie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You used the word 'fantasy' and you should pay attention to that. You have no idea what kind of man this fantasy guy is in a relationship. You have an idea but thats it. As they say "the grass is always greener on the other side", but you need to realize that for it to be green, there is always manure to tiptoe through.
2006-10-27 04:27:59 · answer #6 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, listen to your heart. Do what you know in your heart is right. Don't settle yourself for something that you know is not what you want. It's going to be hard, but make sure you are true to yourself. At the end of the day, it's only you who will know if you got what you really wanted out of life...
2006-10-27 04:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by Lis L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take a good look at my relationship with my b/f and decide if it is going somewhere or not. Overall are you happy with the b/f? If not, I would take the chance on the other guy. If you are happy with the b/f and don't want to loose him, put the other guy out of your mind somehow. This is a though one.
If you have kids with the b/f, please stay with the b/f.
Good luck!
2006-10-27 04:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which do you want?
The reality of the seven year relationship with someone you say is "great."
The fantasy that you formed a long time ago and now think you MIGHT be able to have it.
Hhhmmmmm......
2006-10-27 04:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go after what makes you happy...... was that a freudian slip, you just said that your current relationship is 'settling'... be honest with all involved to avoid hurting feelings more than necessary and good luck, but it sounds like you already have your heart set on the old flame so you don't need my advice
2006-10-27 04:33:25 · answer #10 · answered by ooh baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋