We married 5 years ago and have a 4 year old son. He loves the son and sais that he wants the son to have mommy, daddy and a home where we live together.In the past he wanted to have more children but I refused so recently he called me and invited me to meet his girlfriend who he said is a woman of his dreams ( he said the same to me 5 years ago) .He said she agreed to have children with him soon and he is madly in love. He said he loves me too dearly as his friend and wants us all to be friends.He said he will keep our beautiful flat for me and our son and nanny and will be living part time with me part time with new girlfriend. I think the girl is young gold digger and is after his money. My husband is wealthy but the wealth is offshore and if we split up I will have nothing ( had consulted and spent over a £1000 on one of the best london solicitors already) He said i am free to date other people. I am a postgraduate student my family is back in russia, i got no job and nowhere to go
2006-10-27 04:09:59 · 35 answers · asked by margusenok 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well this sounds unique. So with a unique situation take a unique approach. Say sure...I would love to be your friend. And keep it on a friend status...meaning if he wants sex he can go to his new love of his life girlfriend. Think of him as a colleage loan that you recieved for good behavior. The flat is now your dorm room. The nanny, the dorm mother. Work really hard and get good grades. It sounds to me like he cares for your son enough to make sure that he has everything...(except a normal father)...Take him for all that he is willing to give you. After you graduate. Move on. But in the meantime I would start keeping a diary of his daily movements. For example: Day October 27th @ 2:00p.m. Husband came home today after spending three days with girlfriend "maria". Talked of what the did(insert what they did here).
And continue to do this until you graduate and move out. Keep your diary in a safe location. This will help you when you do decide to divorce him on custody issues of your child if they come up. Good luck. Work hard.
2006-10-27 04:21:40 · answer #1 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to make a suggestion here. Obviously you love your wife, and you're in love with the other woman. I also know that you're a Catholic because you said so. Divorce is usually not a good thing, and the Church doesn't sanction it so you'd be giving up the sacrament for a divorce, if assuming you're a Catholic practicing your religion is important -- this won't be a good move. On the other hand, I do believe that if a marriage is so unhappy and miserable that its intolerable, its best to end it. As far as you and the other woman. You wanted her, so you've already broken your vows by wanting someone else. Even if you never had any interaction with her, you still did that. Both of them are hurting and you are too. I don't know what to say, as you know them both but I hope they know what you're going through, and they both are not jealous of each other. What you wrote is the other woman has marital problems of her own, and I think this is part of why you and she fell for each other. Finally, the grass is greener over the septic tank, which you will find on both sides of the street. It makes no difference. If you feel you cannot give your heart back to your wife, then you never gave it to her to begin with. This makes me sad for her, but if she knows now its best she find out early. If you do not see yourself with your wife over the long-haul, then find a way to end your marriage or separate so at least she can find someone else who will give her the love she needs and deserves. As for you, if this other woman is truly sincere, and she really loves you in her heart of hearts, and you love her to that extent, then as forbidden as it may seem, it is what it is and happiness is not always selfishness. Your children deserve happy parents who love them, but they do not deserve to see parents who love them suffer because of them. Marriage counseling works, about half the time. The Church will try and convince you to renovate your lives and try and change your behavior towards each other. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Its up to you, the wife and the other woman. If the other woman loves you and hates to see you torn apart, she'll let you go if it means you have a shot with your wife.
2016-03-28 09:14:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is such a thing as alimony.... He will have to pay for you and your child.
He is a giant size rat and I could never allow this scenario to happen. You would lose your dignity and respect and he will think that he can treat you anyway he wants to. And girl, it would only get bad........
So he is wealthy, do you want your sanity and self-respect, tell him you are keeping the flat and the nanny and he will pay.. and he can go move in with the other woman,let her support him and you will divorce and you will get money and support.. like it or not....from him.
How can you live now and do what you do, if there is no money.... That is a crock.. There has to be an allowance or something to pay the bills... He has to support his child and you in the manner that you are accustomed to.....
You need a second opinion.....
You are free to date other people... what is he trying to set up a harem.... He is living in the wrong country...
I would go to a woman lawyer and see what she says..also try the women's advocate groups.....
2006-10-27 04:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like a dream come true.... For him. Tell him he can't have his cake and eat it too! This is just asking for trouble. Maybe he can move to Salt Lake area where they can have more than one wife. Run as fast as you can girl and get your kid safely away fro this nonsense. What kind of a home does this portray to a 4 year old. Certainly not a healthy home setting. This guy is a loser! If you need to get his money sue him for child support or with hold visitation rights. don't let him step all over you. You deserve better.
2006-10-27 04:15:35 · answer #4 · answered by rudytute 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that he should have his cake and ice cream too! (I know It's have his cake and eat it too!) You have to be pretty darn dense to allow this man the nerve to even approach you with that. I don't know you, but I don't think that this a good thing at all. Is it the money that you allow such a thing? I'm sorry that you married a man that had you sign a prenuptial agreement so that you can not get any thing from the marriage when it ends. If this is find with you, than go for it.
2006-10-27 04:18:05 · answer #5 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get on your own two feet and file for divorce first. He is a bum and NO ONE can love two women at one time and expect it to work.
Your son will better off not growing up in that type of situation, and if you have proof of your husbands adultery/money he will have to pay you something in a divorce no matter where the money lies. If he doesn't pay what the court orders he will be looking for the love of his life in jail.
2006-10-27 04:19:19 · answer #6 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch him!!!! How dare he expect you to always be there for him while he goes off with another woman. If he is anywhere near decent he will pay you what he owes you when you split. If he doesn't and you can't make him still chuck him!
Why should you be second best???
He thinks he's got a grip on you because of his wealth.....well teach HIM a lesson!
Don't be treated in this way.... have self respect and no matter what happens....YOU WILL MANAGE!!!
Good luck.
2006-10-27 04:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like one messed up situation. I wouldn't put up with it and I'd leave or tell him to go. He'll have to pay spousal support & child support so that'll get you a little. You need to go invest in yourself and get a job so you can maintain a household. Whether you have material things or not is not the issue one can live without them. I would rather live with the bare necessities and my dignity than with a beautiful home and all the perks.
2006-10-27 04:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Indeed you are in a difficult situation,and I sympathize.
First, you need to do your best to get as independent from him as possible, and that includes getting a decent job asap.
I have trouble believe and understanding that if he is wealthy, you will get nothing. It is obvious that you are allowing him to control you.
You need to tell him that you will get permanent custody of the child, and he will have visitation rights, based upon the judge's decision, not his decision.
No one needs a husband like this one, so let him go to her. Just get independent as possible, as far as you can, and you call the shots.
Consult more one attorney at once.
I am confident that if you get custody (which you probably will), that you will at least get 50% of what he has.
Good luck!
2006-10-27 04:18:17 · answer #9 · answered by peekie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop the fool. Don't even consider it. If you consider letting him live with you and your son while having another family you deserve every bad thing that comes...or you need to move to Nevada and become a Mormon.
sorry for seeming mean, but c'mon. Have some self-respect.
2006-10-27 05:03:32 · answer #10 · answered by silverback487 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋