My husband wants me to go to pharmacy school because he wants me to be a "professional." What should I do?

Question

My husband is upset because I don't make a lot of money, according to his definition of a lot of money. He wants to be able to say that his wife is a pharmacist. He has threatened to divorce me if I don't apply to pharmacy school. How can I get him to understand that it's important that I do something that I really want to do? I'm just not sure about becoming a pharmacist. I think I would love the job, but studying chemistry for four years will be dreadful! My husband doesn't make "a lot of money" either, and is a workaholic, anyway. I suggested that he go to pharmacy school, but he said "I'm already doing what I want to do," which is psychotherapy. I make $44,000 a year now, and I kind of like my job...It's not the best, but it'll do. I want to have a family soon, and my husband said he won't have "Wal-mart babies" with me, whatever that means...I think it's time to dump him! What do you think? He expects too much and doesn't love me for who I am.

Answer 1

Somehow you need to explain to your husband that money is not the answer to happiness....love is. Being happy with what you do is better than tons and tons of money. Tell him that life doesn't have to be perfect and if you have wallmart babies, so what. Tell him that the richest people in the world tend to be the most unhappy.
And if he can't see that than you are right...time to walk.

Answer 2

This must be a highly stressful time for you right now
and I do sympathise with you.
No one in this world can tell you what you should be or what you should do.
Studying Pharmacy is not like going to school and doing math or english. It is intense. It is hardwork and it is very taxing on your mind, body and bank account.
If your husband wants you to study pharmacy - who is going to fund it?
He is complaining about money yet, would he pay to put you through pharmacy school?
I am sorry, but your husband is a bully and very selfish.
He has no rights to threaten you either!!
If you won't do what he begs, then he will divorce you, right?
This is not love!!

Was he always like this or has this just happened since you both got married.
You need to really to work out what you are wanting from this marriage. Is it about love or money?

You probably need to tell him that this is not your heart's desire
and that you are not going to be forced into something you don't want to do.

For arguments sake, let's say you agree and study to be a pharmacist for four years.
Now...your a pharmacist...What will be next? Will he want you to be an astronaut.

Your marriage is definately in some type of danger and you really need to sit down and talk this one out.
If he dosn't listen to you, I would encourage him to seek some marraige counselling..

I wish you well..

Answer 3

You are a psychotherapist, which means you probably have a masters degree...how ridiculous for him to say you aren't a professional. Didn't he know what you wanted to do with your life BEFORE you got married? He should be proud to tell people that you are a psychotherapist...its a great job, its hard work, and you are helping people hands on (im getting my masters in counseling right now so i understand what it takes!). Does he know what you do all day? The main point here is that he isnt respecting your wishes or the career you have chosen. Why doesn't HE go to pharmacy school??? Wouldn't he be more proud to tell people that HE is a pharmacist? He has no more reason not to go than you do. Next time it comes up, tell him you arent going to change careers just to make him happy. In my opinion, men are supposed to make more money anyways, just incase you want to stay home with kids if you have them (not sure if you would want that, but thats my view). So tell him to go be the breadwinner and apply to pharmacy school or some other professional program, because you like your career just fine! Tell him that you feel disrespected, and if he doesnt care there are deeper problems in your marriage.

Answer 4

I don't know how old you are, but I think I'd be more concerned with getting more education - (not necessarily becoming a pharmacist) instead of staying home and having babies. If you stay home with kids, your husband's $44k will not go very far and you will be shopping at Wal Mart because it the only thing you can afford. Don't forget, that you will also have to educate those kids too. You two have a problem and would probably benefit from counseling - I wouldn't go to divorce court yet. You will BOTH need to compromise to make your relationship work.

Answer 5

Here is a man who wants you to support him... I think your wage is fine and yes you could make alot more being a pharmacist, but it is not your choice,.
If he makes comments likes he did about babies, yes I think he would be on the end of my shoe stumbling out the door.
It takes alot of dedication to study and the course is very difficult. You wouldn't have time to be making babies that is for sure,
I think he has his sights on you being the bread winner, so he can relax... I am sorry but I could not stay with a person who was giving me serious doubts about his ethics, stability and work ethic.
My red flags were popping up as I read your question.....You can do alot better. He is bullying you and trying to guilti you into doing something you don't want..... He doesn't want babies,,,that is for sure... too much bother, by the sounds of his tone.....
I would keep my job and help him move out and find his pharmacist to support him...
end of this chapter... Next!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Chemistry is not a huge part of the pharmacy curriculum. You just got to understand basic organic chemistry, and you'll be fine.
Pharmacy school is a long and expensive proposition. I know people, at my public university, who are taking upwards of $30k a year in debt. $30k multiply by the four years of pharmacy school equals $120k. That's not including any loans taken on during prePharmacy. During those four years, you'll not have a huge amount of free time.
Pharmacy is very competitive to just be considered, you'll need a GPA of 3.3 and a PCAT of about 75.
44k is a little below average for a bachelors degree. The average bachelors degree make about 51k a year.

Answer 7

He could do what he wants to do but you can't. Doesn't he know that if you are going to school for something you don't want to go for, you will never excel in it. I think 44K is good money. If you want to go back to school, go back to school for something you want to go to school for. Why is he so obsessed with being a pharmacist? Really....if he threatens to leave, tell him "Don't let the door hit ya on the way out." You make enough money to support yourself. And really, why do you have to be the one making great money or trying to? so you can support him or so he can work less. Be for yourself. You want a family soon and he's not going to make it happen b/c ur not a pharmacist. Leave him and find yourself someone who does want a family in the future.

Answer 8

You make pretty darn good money. Why don't you tell him to go back to school? I sure would. I think that he needs to grow up. I would think twice about having any kids with him. Perhaps you guys should go to counseling. I would go by myself if I was you. If he is telling what to go to school for...think how he would be to ur kids. Many men would love you for you...the money part wouldn't even ,matter! Good Luck!

Answer 9

yu guys ar eon the path to divorce..these are things you talk about before you get married not now. TEll him if he doesnt like u, hit the road, i fhe wants a pharmacist in the family, tell him to be a man and go do it himself. you are better than that, and its better to do something you lovethen be miserable , making more $ ,,trust me.

Answer 10

Get rid of him. He doesn't respect you. He doesn't care about what you want. Threatening divorce?? Sounds like he wants total control over you. You can find a much better man and I hope you do!