please learn to distinguish between the joys of career, hobbies, friendship & romance.
for me, nothing compares to the last one.
i'd like to hear original replies from people who feel the same or who can understand someone else's perspective.
thank you
2006-10-27 03:44:37 · 17 answers · asked by Eden 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand what you mean. It's been years since I've been in a serious relationship. To make matters worse all of my friends are married. There are a few ways that I accept where I am at this point in my life.
1. I stopped looking... I figure why waste my time searching...if there is someone meant for me it will happen all on its own.
2. I have a good support of friends who constantly encourage me that there is someone out there and it will happen at the right time.
3. I live my life to the fullest knowing that there are benefits to being single. I don't want to spend my whole single life wishing I had something else...and then when I'm not single spend my time missing some of the freedoms I had when I was single. Life is here and now. I want to enjoy this part of my life as much as possible knowing that its where I'm suppose to be right now. When it changes....Great!...but until then I might as well enjoy the good things about my life the way it is.
I hope this helps and you find what your looking for! Best of luck!
2006-10-27 04:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by Rochelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that I agree with you when you say nothing compares to not having romance in your life. I was single for a very long time and just recently got married this year. Before I met him I used to hate when people would tell me to enjoy my job and to be busy with other things to forget about being single-it doesnt work like that! You can't substitute love for something else.
To be honest, I don't think you can forget about not having love in your life. What I do think though is that you should never give up on the possibility of finding love! Without it becoming an obsession or too time consuming you should try various things in order to meet someone-easier said than done, of course!
For me, I would still feel lonely even though I had friends...but having friends is extremely important!
Maybe tell your self your going to give yourself a 3 or 6 month or however long break just to live and enjoy and spoil yourself! And that when the time is over you will put some energy into finding someone...maybe by allowing yourself a time period to just 'be' and forget about dating...you might relax a bit over and forget it...NOT entirely...but maybe shifted to the back of your head for a bit. Sometimes it becomes so prominent in our thoughts that it consumes them! So tel yourself-for the next 3 months I'm just going to forget about being single and have a good time-do something you wouldnt normally do. And maybe formulate a plan for afterwards.
I know this may not have been what you wanted to hear-but I dont think theres a quick fix for it...I think most people want to love and be loved by a partner and they feel the void if they dont have it.
I wish you the best of luck!!
2006-10-27 11:01:45 · answer #2 · answered by tarar0502 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to what you are saying and right now I have a girlfriend who is going through feeling the same way.
Everyone wants to be loved and to be able to give. It is one of the joys of life, to love and be loved. And there are different types of love, and I think I know the kind you are talking about.
I don't know if you are a spiritual person or not...but I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. But I also believe that in order to find the right person, you need to be the right person. And that means working on just being you, living the life you enjoy living, do the things you enjoy doing, learning and growing every day. I do believe that opens doors and draws people closer to you. Isn't it better and more enjoyable to be around someone who is happy and confident and content than the opposite.
Please don't stop ever believing that that special one is out there and that you'll find him/her. Don't search so hard for Mr/Ms Right, work hard on being the right person.
JMHO.....
2006-10-27 10:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by BVC_asst 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have thought that I have found the one twice in my life now. When we would split up, I had the unreasonable fear that I would end up alone for the rest of my life. I felt vulnerable and scared.
It was this fear that would subconsciously drive me from one relationship to another.
When you meet someone that is close to or exceeds your imagination of the person you dream about being with. It is very hard to find someone that measures up. That in itself is the first mistake. You never love someone the same way you loved another. This is because you are involved with someone different and you yourself may have learned, changed from your last relationship.
There was a time that I had almost given up on love. Until I met someone that I grew feelings for that I never knew I had. This gave me hope instead of despair when it ended. I realized that I was capable and wanted to have those feelings again. After saying all this. You need to analyze what your fear is of being single. What your concerns are about being alone. Good luck.
2006-10-27 10:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I'm at the same point in my life. I'm very happy with my career, friends, and other activities. To be honest I don't want to date anybody because it just seems to muddy the water. I'm tired of the compromises and the give and take, right now I just want to do my own thing and not have to deal with some guy. Don't get me wrong I love romance, but I'm tired of the price it seems that I have to pay. I have learned that I do not have to be defined by a relationship and I don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. It's very nice and freeing when you get to this point. Good luck!!
2006-10-27 10:54:17 · answer #5 · answered by j_t3006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have love in my heart but is not enough to be as happy as I could. I can't improve my career /but I still try/. Hobbies not too much time for it and only for myself.
Friendship & romance - people are scared of people, if I start talking to them they look on me /I feel / like I'm dengers stranger.Perspective for better are not so good. Is to many people havien personal needs for materialistic resons or some imagination they deservet more then see your face.?
It become olmost imposible to make friends for life.
I become lonly of it but not disapoined by fake friendship.
2006-10-27 10:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 28 and married but I have a girlfriend who is 32 years old and single. She has never been married and probably never will get married. She has epilepsy and was diagnosed 3 years ago - it has really wrecked her social life and disenabled her from meeting people. She hasn't dated in over 3 years. When we were in our early twenties, we dated and party together. Then I met my husband and she felt left out. The one thing she wants more then anything else is to be married - she denies it but I know it's true.
2006-10-27 10:50:08 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can not forget about love because it will always be around you but do something for your self like get a tatto or someithing that makes you happy and when lyou are least looking for love it will happen for you i know from expeireince with 3 kids at 25 how hard it could be until i found the man of my dreams when i thought i could have no other because fo my past relationships it is out there for you have faith good luck
2006-10-27 11:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by vomissie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's highly unlikely that a person can thier lives alone and feel complete. I once broke up with a girl of my dreams after dating for five year, she decided to marry someone else. I got thru the pain & learned to enjoy myself with whom ever enters my life without expectations.
2006-10-27 10:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by GoLuv200 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deciding to remain single is a choice you are making.... It is not destined unless you are creating the situation......
You need to get out and mix with all kinds of people. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it.. There are tons of clubs reading, bowling,. knitting, skiing, cycling, running, walking, climbing, hiking. etc....
All you have to do is get off your butt, lose the poor me attitude and get out there.
Don't be sizing up everybody you meet, don't be all goo goo eyed when someone talks to you... Love takes a long time to develop and being friends is the beginning. So.... what are you waiting for. get off your perch and get back down to earth....and living your life with zest and gusto....
2006-10-27 10:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋