I woke up late last night and came out to find my husband on the computer, he jumped and hit the X button quickly. I saw red but couldn't really focus on what was on the screen. He told me he was getting on AKO (a military site) and just to go back to bed. I got up this morning and looked at the history and found tons of porno sites on the histroy. right before AKO I looked at the site and it was red. Just like what I had seen last night. Are the histories on computers pretty accurate. He has been an exemplary husband until now. What should I do. We have 3 kids, he adopted my oldest two and then we had one.
2006-10-27 03:19:52 · 31 answers · asked by Barbara C 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For those who say spice up our sex life, I don't know how much more we can, we have sex on a daily basis, sometimes twice a day. We use all kinds of toys, different positions, I give him oral sex, we have even done anal sex. I NEVER turn him down, nor am I boring. Trust me I like interesting sex as well. Thant is what blows my mind. If you are going to leave a mean answer, just go away. I don't need you right now.
2006-10-27 04:40:04 · update #1
Confront him, porno site? That's like not acceptable I think when you are married, talk to him about it... Why search the sites when your right there and he could have the real thing?? LoL! xD
2006-10-27 03:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The history on computers are pretty accurate. I think the real question is this: Was this a one time curiousity thing or does he have a habit at looking at porn sites? I would let it go for now, unless you see this happening more often. Then I would sit him down for a talk. Be concerned for you and your children, especially if you have girls, that he is looking at other women at sex objects. He could be devaluing the female, and be more prone to violence/inappropiate behaviors if he is really into porn. It just depends on how you feel, if this is cheating or not. How's your sex life? Can you tell if what was on the computer was more real to him than you or will it be just a fantasy? Does it spice up your sex life or is he thinking of other women? And don't let him get away with the "men will be men" excuse.
2006-10-27 10:42:28 · answer #2 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I'm not a big fan of porn but it's a big thing with men (and some women).
If this has upset you you need to mention it to your husband. Even though I dont like it I have resided myself to the fact that this is how most men tick.
Apparently sex experts will say that this kind of interest is healthy and has no reflection upon how your husband views, loves and feels for you. It doesn't mean he loves you less or wants you to behave in this manner, its just fantasy, they can experience a different kind of turn on and I dont thinks it's wrong or dirty for your man to seek this kind of stimulation now and again.
I have a child at home myself and know that sometimes my BF and I find it hard to get private time for one another, so hopefully your man checking out a few sites is a good sign that he still has sexual urges.
Please talk to him, its nothing for either of you to be embarrased about and may even lead to checking a few things out together. I have watched a couple of mild stuff with my fella and it is a different thrill.
2006-10-27 10:41:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The History is accurate, and yes, he is enjoying his porno sites. Most guys do. He isn't telling you because he anticipates your disapproval. So he avoids the disapproval by hiding his actions. I don't agree that having sex would replace the porno, it doesn't work that way. You should acknowledge his 'hobby', he isn't running around on you, but just finding other exciting sites. You've been together for a while and he's looking for fresh excitement. You should be taking the stand that after veiwing a little porn, he should come to bed so you can enjoy each other together.
2006-10-27 10:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by Arnold M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You believe him looking at porno all of a sudden doesn't make him and exemplary husband? Has he instantly turned into a a*hole?
I guess it has to do with your views on porn. Does he know that you don't like it? Maybe that's why he's being secreative. Maybe he was just curious about what he's been hearing about people say about these internet sites?
Ask him. Now, be prepared for him to be pissed at you for checking up on his history... I'm sure he'll take that as an invasion of privacy. But talk to him about it and see what he says. If he's been a great husband until now, looking at porn shouldn't really change that, should it?
(Everyone has their own views on porn. It doesn't bother me if my husband looks at Playboy or things of that nature or if he views porn movies. He's a great husband, a great father and our life together is pretty darn good. But if it bothers you, don't let it fester, talk to him about it right away). Good Luck.
2006-10-27 10:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by BVC_asst 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
*Sigh*...harmless. He's not visiting kiddie porn sites and he isn't surfing around looking for a loacl woman to screw around with. If he wants to eyeball alittle pornography let it be.
What have you got to lose by discussing it with him? Do you think that this is something that may enhance both of your personal lives or damage it. I mean...if it's run-of-the-mill pornography there should be a big deal. If it's one legged women wearing a latex stocking and sh*tting on leather auto seats then I'd have some concerns.
I don't suggest he be given carte blanch to look at pornography while you have a house full of people but as long as you have the histoy (and he isn't aware of the same) then you can monitor his comings and goings.
If it gets too out of hand, then I would recommend you take up the gauntlet and make your feelings known.
2006-10-27 10:34:55 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep the histories on computers are on the up and up. What you see is what has happened. You need to confront your husband now. Pushing this under the rug isn't going to make it go away. You need to ask him why he feels he needs to go online for that? Expecially when he has you in bed at home.
Keep in mind that for some men....they might need a release. Thank god you didn't catch him screwing the secretary or picking up a hooker. But I think what he did is about two steps away from it. If it's done in secerecy he too thinks it's wrong.
2006-10-27 10:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the histories on the computer are pretty accurate. All you can do is sit down and talk with him about this. Tell him about your concerns and how this is making you feel.
2006-10-27 10:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by Forceof1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,the histories are accurate.He may be afraid of your reaction as you two have not discussed it.Tell him that you do know,explain whatever you feel and go from there to open the lines of communication.Try to view this as any other topic that merits discussion and talk openly so it doesn't simmer between you.Best of Luck
2006-10-27 10:27:52 · answer #9 · answered by maykithapin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes the History is the exact records of web sited that were visited on your computer. You need to tell him that you know and how you feel about. If he loves you truly and you tell him to stop then he should because of how it makes you feel
2006-10-27 12:23:16 · answer #10 · answered by Nate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋