How do I find out if my child hood friend is Bisexual?

Question

When we were teens he would spend the night over my house and we would wrestle,sometimes in a kinky way. And I would always give him foot massages(he had the prettiest feet) We will always sleep in the same bed and I would try things while he was sleep to see how far I can get but was nervous. He had to know I was touching him. Any way its been 10 years and he's in the militarty and been married and divorced with child. But I cant stop thinking about the past and wondering how do I go about seeing if he feels the same way. Also let me add he looks just like NELLY,lips and body. What do I do?

Answer 1

Try to do the same things, like a blast to the past and see how he reacts. If he starts doing the same type things, try taking it a little further

Answer 2

If you want to know his orientation, ask him. But, I really don't care about that.

What I think is important is that you realize that touching someone sexually while they are asleep or pretending to be asleep is not ok. Many people freeze up when receiving unwanted sexual touch. Particularly if someone was molested when young, they may develop an ingrained response to pretend like it isn't happening. Inside, they may feel very dirty. Inside they may be screaming. On the outside, they are acting like nothing is happening.

I know this is a common reaction among sexual abuse survivors, and it is a reaction I have had personally.

I am not saying this to make you feel guilty. I am not saying you intentionally molested your friend. Perhaps he really did sleep through it. Perhaps he was aroused but didn't want to be, and was confused and so pretended to be asleep rather than deal with it (and he certainly should have the right not to be forced to deal with those issues, particularly in that way). Perhaps, as you seem to believe, he liked it.

The point is, you can't know. So, in the future, if you are with someone who is acting asleep, don't touch without preexisting permission. Even with a regular partner, it is easy enough to have a two minute conversation when the person is awake to establish whether it is okay to touch them when they are sleeping. Maybe you will get an enthusiastic "of course!" But, you might also hear, "You know, I'm not to sure. Let me think about it," or, "you know, I wouldn't have been comfortable mentioning anything, but, I'd rather not. Thank you for asking."

Just be respectful and sure of what your partners and potential partners really want before pushing anything on them.

As for your friend, just ask. If he's not condemning you for being gay or bi, then I doubt he'll freak out about the question. If he doesn't know that you aren't straight, maybe sharing that information is a good place to start.

Answer 3

Gawd. I just felt like I read some cheesy gay harlequinesque novel. Ten years is way to much to obsess about a man who may or not be gay. Get over it and take a pick from all the serioulsy out there gay guys. No need to play the guessing game, right?

Answer 4

You should ask him or just start talking about your childhood... and the past... maybe he can tell u something

Answer 5

He and you sound like you had a very g0y relationship. He is probably g0y.

Answer 6

You find out if he chooses to tell you.

Otherwise, it is not your concern.

.

Answer 7

Just talk to him about it.

Answer 8

Ask him.

Answer 9

uuuh maybe ask him.

Answer 10

get him drunk and then ask him