she hit me?

Question

now i know i'm not perfect but i do pay the mortgage , all the util. and pay for my truck payment , and 9 times out of 10 i pay for all the food not to metion i've been paying 1000.00 a mth to my friend for her wedding ring for 4 mths and only have 1 payment left . taking all of this in mind i have been stressed because money has been short and we are both use to doing things that we can't do right now. she barley makes enough money to pay for her car and insurance , oh yeah i paid off her 700.00 credit card this summer . i've been trying to rehab the house so we can sell and buy a new bigger house. so again i come home some times and i am crabby and don't want to talk alot. and I can't take her asking me for money every day or just asking anything period. so i'm taking a shower today at 7am getting ready for wrork and she asked for 25$ for gas and she got paid yesterday. some i made arude comment about that and she slapped me i can't believe this bit ch and we are getting married 2w

Answer 1

Hey Tim, I think you better put those marriage plans on the back burner, this is only an indication of whats to come. My son married a girl like that, and the day of the wedding he was still having doubts about her. I told him you don't have to do this thing, we can hop a plane and get out of town for a few days, and just not show up for the wedding, it wouldn't have been the end of the world. He went through with it, and a year later they were divorced. This girl was selfish, greedy and controlling. My son had a wonderful job, making great money, but they seem to never have any. She was nickle and dimeing him to death. She also had a good job, but we found later that her money was going to support her family, and she was hiding this from him. Eventually she even begin to move her family in with them. His Dad and I never got involved with the marriage, but we knew she wasn't treating him right. Today he is married to a wonderful girl, they have a fabulous home, and they both are working for the same cause. Not even knowing all of the circumstances here, I would still tell you to get away from her as fast as you can. I'm just thankful my son, and this girl he was married to before never had children. She was a wild one.

Hugs
Texas Mom

Answer 2

You might want to rethink the wedding until you two can work out your differences - this is no way to start a marriage. Money is the root of all even and its no bs. If she just got paid, you need to find out what she is doing with her money. If she still has credit cards that she is squandering money on, they need to be destroyed. Better no credit cards at all. Society has made it difficult for one income families and she should be more than happy to contribute to everything if she loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Marriage is a two way street, if she isn't willing to share the responsibilities with you she doesn't deserve you and maybe you should find someone that does. It will only get worse if you don't take care of this NOW, God Bless!!

Answer 3

You are going to have to set some ground rules for spending or else you are going to continue to carry this financial burden alone. It would not be a bad idea for her to seek another job where she could make more money. It takes two incomes to make it these days but if you apply the money in the right places the stress wouldn't be so high. Either she sees no end to the money or she just doesn't realize how much money it takes to live on. Either way you are going to have to sit her down and talk about spending, saving and buying.

Answer 4

Don't get married until you have pre-marital counseling..........trust me. Do this for yourself and her. Money is the number one reason for divorce, and why put yourself through that.

You need to approach it by saying, "Money is definately tight, and we are both way too stressed about it, I've made an appointment for............."

Hitting another human being is by no means acceptable. No matter what. What ever you do, do not hit her back. Females can be brutal, yet because of the number of assault victims that are female......males will get punished, hard. And your better than that, right?? You both are dealing with stress and is taking over. Take a deep breath and talk to someone who deals with this all the time and get their advice. Best wishes!

Answer 5

It is not acceptable for her to hit you at any time. She should understand that having cars, insurance, etc costs money. She needs to either budget or find another way to make enough.

I didn't make enough from my former job so I worked hard to search for another. Now, I'm trying to catch up on my bills at my NEW job!!

Don't want to drain you, but you two should consider premarital counseling! Think long and hard before you say your I do's. She'll be entitled to half of your assets if you get divorced someday. You'll be paying out of your you know what big time! She sounds like she has anger issues, or a short fuse. What will she do to your kids someday if they act up??

Answer 6

When a person puts their hand on someone obviously it's out of anger. But regardless of the fact it needs to be tooken care of. U might love this women and she might not realize what she got. In order to make this work you will have to talk to her reasonable in a comfortable setting and have a real talk with her. Getting married? I think you should put it off for awhile un lease until you feel comfortable and have no worries. Getting married is a serious step in a relationship. There are people who spend 40 years in a married to finally realize the person they are with are not the one for them. So if your going to get married at least make sure its worth it and you don't have any doubts. What you make that promise to got then you have to keep your word. Good luck on your relationship. If you need more help hit me at [e-mail]. And that goes for anybody else.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like you may want to rethink that one. If you guys are already having this much trouble imagine how things could progress over the years. With all the stress you seem to be under mostly because of her you are going to die a young man! There are strong independent women in the world out there that would be happy to have a good man to treat right!

Answer 8

Wow..... the stress that money problems bring on can be unbelievable, and can make us react in ways we never have before. I'm sure she's as ashamed of what she did as you are angry and hurt by it. Sit down and have a calm discussion, make a financial plan, and try to find a compromise. Don't let something like this ruin your relationship.

Answer 9

People are not perfect, and everyone has undoubtedly said something REALLY inadvisable (or stupid) at some time or another.

Nonetheless, physical abuse is NOT acceptable, no matter how mad you get.

I'd sit down and have a good solid talk....lots of "I" statements. ("I felt angry when....and I'd like you to do...."----the tendency to say "you always" (blaming) usually gets people really ticked and turns OFF communication.) But you'd be perfectly within rights to make a hard and firm statement that physical assault is NOT going to be tolerated within your relationship.

Answer 10

This could be stress talking or you may need to push your date back...WAY back.

Open lines of communication and discuss MONEY, RESPECT, and HOUSEHOLD responsibillities before walking down that ailse.

If these are things you and your wife cannot discuss, then you and your wife will divorce, save yourself the time and money and ditch her now OR grow the F up and discuss expectations.