How do I cope with all these emotions?

Question

Last year I got pregnant. My boyfriend and I came to the decision to have a termination. I do not regret this decision as I know I don't want kids at the moment. However, my boyfriend is about to become an uncle. He likes children so he's happy that his sister is having a baby but I've got all of these emotions going around. I feel sad, jealous (I don't know why), angry but happy for his sister. I don't know how I'm going to cope with seeing him hold his new niece/nephew and I don't want him to know I feel this way.. Has anyone had an experience like this or similar to this?

Answer 1

I think you are just feeling normal given what you've been through . Knowing you were not ready doesn't mean you don't love children because I believe you do or you would not be having your current feelings. It's probably emotions regarding termination that have become ingrained in your psyhc from hearing years of negative comments concerning it bringing about the emotions you are feeling now . Coupled with your love of children I understand your current feelings. I hope by trying to help understand your feelings this helps you . Learn from your experience and try not to look back and dwell on the past as it can't be relived . Move on and don't second guess yourself is my advice there will be opportunity in the future when your ready . Good luck and just share in their feelings as best you can .

Answer 2

First, remember what you are feeling is completely normal. You could share some of this with your boyfriend but he probably won't understand the intensity of your emotions as much as a woman who has gone through a similar experience. See if your local agencies have a counselor that can help you work through this loss (yes what you are feeling is a feeling of grief). Once you process through these feeling you will understand that the decision that the both of you made was the best one for all involved and that in time when both of you are ready that you will be blessed with a baby of your own. Best of luck to you I can understand and I sympthatize with what you are going through.

Answer 3

Remember, you did what you had to do. It is normal to have these feelings, I think you should share it with your boyfriend. This will be very therapeutic, for the two of you. I am sure he is feeling the same, but does not know how to approach you, so express your self to him. This feeling may get worst when the baby comes. try and work on yourself, you did what you had to do, and now you have to forgive yourself, and move on, So when you do see the new born baby, just be happy for the couple, and wish them the best, and believe in your heart, that you are a good person, and with time and God's blessings one day, when your life is in place, he will bless you with a baby!

Answer 4

I personally have done what you did. As far as the feelings, it's only natural to feel a little baby envy, especially since you just terminated so recently. Don't let this get to you though. You made it clear that you don't want children at the moment. Imagine your life if you did have one. What you are experiencing is natural, doll. Just take it one day at a time. It's difficult but I am sure you made the best decision for you :)

Answer 5

I have not experienced this, but listen...

You made the best choice for you. And it sounds like you have accepted that. Yes, this might be a little emotional for you. But remember that you did what you needed to do for your future. You have your whole lie ahead of you to have kids, and under the right circumstances. Don't dwell on the past, but look to the future.

Answer 6

Stop! there are things we do in life that can't be undone. Forgive yourself, lean from this, and move on.

Answer 7

I am really not able to understand as to how people like you lose yourself to such situations. There is something called self control. How can you lose it?