having just read a question from a relativley new bride ; stating that after only a few months she wants out of the marriage & had felt strongly about this before the wedding ; but went ahead cos she didn't want to disappoint parents.a few weeks before the wedding of my brother his then fiancee told me in tears that she didn;t want to get married & my advice to her was ** he may be my brother ;but if that is how you feel ; then DON'T** she went ahead with it & 2 years later they parted. had a similar story with a woman I once worked with- her excuse was * we had all these people coming from o/s**
I tell young people - if in doubt then DONT; it is NOT too late until you sign the papers.
if any one has been through this ; then WHY did you go ahead with the ceremony?
2006-10-27 02:38:47 · 19 answers · asked by fairypelican 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they have pressure from the spouse, family members, or friends.
2006-10-27 02:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Stretch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sometimes people don't know if its the difference between cold feet (the doubts everyone has before making such a big commitment) and actually feeling like the don't want to.
They convince themselves its just nerves - after all there is a lot of pressure to get married although really you just never know if its going to work out. I'm sure after even the happiest of weddings there are still divorces. After all the divorce rate is near 50%.
There's a lot of factors in people getting divorces and banking everything on a "feeling" you have before the wedding seems kind of short sighted. Plus people probably play up those pre-wedding doubts once they discover their marriage isn't going to work out. "Well I should've have known better" they tell themselves.
I agree that if people are having serious doubts and pressure they should take their time with the wedding even if it requires a post-ponement. Or at least seek counseling before tying the knot. Sometime these things can be worked out.
2006-10-27 02:47:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well some people go ahead and they get married even though there gut feeling tells them not to because many of them feel that they will never have another chance to get married and that they will never find someone new and that they just don't want to hurt that person or they just doing it to want to be loved. My opinion would be that if your gut is telling you not to do something then why should you do it. I mean even if you love that person very much sometimes you just have to let them know that you're not ready for marriage then just tell your mate and if they really cared they would be okay with it. so just don't do what you feel really UN safe with doing it only builds up the guilt until you just don't know what to do
2006-10-27 06:29:40 · answer #3 · answered by Serenity F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have sat through many weddings simply saying" they will be be divorced in a year" and I've been correct. They know it and so did I. I think for woman......they just like the whole idea of the wedding and don't think much passed that. They get to be all pretty and be the princess for the day and that's the appeal.
2006-10-27 02:44:50 · answer #4 · answered by Koaster1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's just it. The fear of disappointing the people they love. It is very true that she probably should not have gone through with it, but we as humans have that "need to know" and the desire to have an answer to "what if". Optimism and empathy are great character traits however, they don't always produce the most desirable outcomes when it comes to matters of the heart.
2006-10-27 03:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by Pissed off 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a very famous saying about wedding from the place where I belong, I am writing English translation here...it might not be that impressive as in Original language but its really true.
" Wedding is a kind of sweet, who eat feel regrets , who do not eat feel regrets as well"
2006-10-27 02:43:41 · answer #6 · answered by shahzebb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good question! I know a few people who have done the same thing - not a good idea. This is why I think that calling off a wedding is one of the BRAVEST things to do! (of course it would've been better to call it off way before this point tho...) But I totally respect people who do this.
2006-10-27 02:42:39 · answer #7 · answered by supagrrrl84 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Several reasons....... 1. because they feel an obligation to family and friends ( i understand how that sounds but it's true). 2. they feel like whatever problems they have that have gotten them to the point of doubt will magically fix themselves once they go through with it. 3. they DON'T want to start over.
2006-10-27 02:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by Damian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe I was keeping my word
and
NOT
following my heart?
It was NOT about:
being embarrassed,
because that is what my parents want for me,
public recoginzation that I was choosing wrong wife,
other people coming from out of state...
etc.
that would be a way of lieing to myself...
.
.
I follow my heart now!
.
.
2006-10-27 02:45:48 · answer #9 · answered by DM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they do that cause they want a sense of belonging and thinking that a miracle might happen along the way and live happily ever after.
2006-10-27 02:47:36 · answer #10 · answered by LETHABO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of these people don't want to be alone, and will settle for anybody to marry.
2006-10-27 02:41:19 · answer #11 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋