My partner is very open and honest and told me lately he has lost the "urge" we are very happy together but I want his "urge" back.
If guys have any non-rude suggestions then please let me know!
2006-10-27 02:31:47 · 31 answers · asked by jessieket04 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Often, men will "lose libido" due to exessive stress at work, home, or life situations. I don't know what other things may be happening in his life, but it's possible that the stress is overwhelming his reality...causing doubts about his confidence. Talk with him about it. Be there for him. He may just need some encouragement about his job, etc.
2006-10-27 02:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Its all very debatable since you have given very little information.
All men are different, and if you feel all you have to do is "find" it, maybe nothing else is wrong.
When I first started on this site I had the same problem, and I didn't find any good answers for my problem on here. My boyfriend was having money worries and cos he's male that meant self-esteem issues. I was doing all the move making & when it worked the sex was boring and samey.
I believed in him & I didn't believe any bad notions regarding his "loss" - but it went on & on & on. To the point where talking to him about it made me feel like a nag. I let it go on so long that I "lost" the sexual component of myself (& that has always been a BIG part in my life) but I loved him and wanted him and it made life easier, but my self-esteem had plummeted due to the constant rejection, or I would never have let it go on and on.
We broke up.
He had another woman in his bed within 4 weeks.
I obviously have thought about this alot, the best answer I can give you is not the answer to "where can I find it", its the answer to "why is this happening?" For me the answer was because he was pushing me away, not being intimate, wanting to put up emotional barriers. He didn't like sex and love crossing over, but thats just him.
You probably didn't need this monologue, perhaps I did -
my advice would be to push him to talk to you, if he is avoiding intimacy sexually, insist on intimacy in other areas, and if he avoids that too I think your relationship is in trouble.
Best wishes to you though.
2006-10-27 10:12:43 · answer #2 · answered by zara c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been together?
How old are you? The older we get the harder it is to stay with it.
We never get over it but just becomes less of a priority.
What has changed between you? Something clearly has.
Do you not keep yourself as attractive as you use to?
Could he have someone on the side?
When it comes to sex for either male or female we never really loose the urge. It is a mental thing. Something has changed that made him find you not as attractive as they use to.
Probably not your fault as it is only a perception with us all.
Only he can answer this question. Talk to him.
Not many men loose interest in sex without a good reason.
2006-10-27 09:44:56 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The stresses of work and life etc are probably getting to him you're very lucky that you have that honest relationship.
why not get rid of the kids (if you have any) and suprise him when he comes home from work 1 night, with all the lights off some nice music playing in teh backround,candles in the bedroom run a bath with candles in the bathroom get a bottle of wine or champagne and dress up in some nice underwear etc basically just set a nice romantic scene and enjoy
i'd say his libido will be back in no time :--)
2006-10-27 09:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by dubgirl26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, my bloke lost his "urge" a bit and I thought he was having an affair ..... so knowing him like I do (i know he likes short skirts and white skirts). I bought a nurses outfit, it was short and white and did the trick. His "urge" came flooding back. And i have not been suspicious of him going else where since..... turns out he was worried I was getting bored of HIM.!
So - think of all the things that used to get his "urge" and have a go at supprising him with that. maybe a weekend away for the 2 of you might help too.
2006-10-27 09:37:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Provided he does not have any blood pressure problems, have him try the men's sexual health vitamin pack from GNC. My brother had all but lost his ability to perform and tried it and he tells me he feels like he is 19 again. He has also said that a couple of his friends are taking the same vitamins and have nothing but great things to say. He did tell me that it takes 3-5 days to start to see any results as they build up in the system. I am not sure about the cost, but I am sure they can not cost what Viagra and the other helper drugs cost...
2006-10-27 09:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he recently begun taking any medications? Sometimes they can effect libido. It is very common in a relationship to also have an effect as you get comfortable in the relationship. Try being the aggressor in the relationship. Allow him to relax while you do all the work. Once you get him hot he will probably get into it. Have fun
2006-10-27 09:38:43 · answer #7 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he working to much and other things going on. To much of this causes this. He needs some more free time to rest and enjoy you. Make sure he has a day off to rest then he can enjoy you. Dressing nice helps too. Have him stay away from the drinking and pain killers. That don't help esspecially the pain killers and muscle relaxers.
2006-10-27 09:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to get to work, It maybe he needs longer foreplay to renew that spark. I would suggest you give him a nice sensual massage with the baby oil. If you are good you will know when he turns over to have his front done. You may consider shaving downstairs - its like having a new woman in bed and maybe he needs that little kick-start . Good luck
2006-10-27 09:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by Daddybear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try some fantasy role playing....the naughty nurse, student, police officer, etc. Perhaps an adult movie might help. Also, I hear that Viagra works wonders for both males and females!
2006-10-27 09:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋