2006-10-27 02:05:16 · 13 answers · asked by derbyandrew 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Interesting 1st few answers!!!!..... Detail is that ex-wife is very well off. We have just had a baby hence my wife isn't in a position to work so we have only one income. The second child (7yrs)in this new relationship isn't mine though I raise her and pay for her as my own. I have always paid for my kids - never missed a payment in a private arrangement. My Ex-wife got the CSA after an argument (she refused me access one weekend) who subsequently demand an amount that we simply don't have (who can afford £360 pm?). The Children do not benefit any more but my ex-wife gets richer and has more designer clothes. Right or Wrong?
2006-10-27 02:45:39 · update #1
I think people may here may have misunderstood what this guy has said.
I get the impression that he doesn't mind paying, it's the amount he has to pay.
I think it is unfair that you have to pay that much, knowing there are so many fathers out there that don't pay a penny. The CSA can't get it right, even though they are trying hard.
Maybe if you can talk to your ex and come to an agreement it may work.
I spilt from my ex 10 years ago and we came to an amicable agreement.
I hope you can sort it out.
2006-10-27 02:40:39 · answer #1 · answered by BigD 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't give much information here. Cause my answer might be different if details were added.... but I'm left to make assumptions.
My ex moved in with a woman who had 2 children shortly after we split... he's worked his butt of to pay her mortgage, car payment, groceries, ect, buy her kids vehicles, school trips, clothes, computers, and whatever else they may want... she's not work consistently, and he's supported her and her kids.... while he never did much at all for me or my son when we were together.
He's been consistently 2 to 3 months behind on the small amount of child support he owes for his own child... so that her and her children could have what they want and need. If this is the type of situation you're talking about... and you think your own children should go without in order to take care of someone else's... then your priorities are way out of line and you're hurting you children.
If these 2 children in the new relationship are also yours.... you should have considered your financial obligations to the children you already had before you continued to populate the earth. Get a second job and stop whining.... better yet, try a vasectomy.
2006-10-27 02:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Right. Exactly how many children are you planning on having? It's YOUR decision to have kids, its not their fault your relationship failed, they should not suffer. The CSA take the money from you because you cannot commit to and come to an amicable agreement with your ex-wife. That's just embarrassing. If you want to provide more for your two "new" kids then tell your new wife to get a job or work harder to earn more. It's not difficult. The CSA have many, many faults but the saddest thing is we need to have a body like them because so many absent fathers cannot or will not support their families.
2006-10-27 02:13:47 · answer #3 · answered by rondavous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but on the moral question of whether this is right or wrong... I have to say- you already had children/a child before you went and had more, it was your choice to do that, if you can't afford it then it probably wasn't wise to have more kids than your means can allow.
On a more practical note, you could appeal to the CSA and state that your children are suffering extreme hardship. The best way to go about this is probably to go to citizens advice and get an advocate to help you.
There could also be other help available to you if you have children resident with you, then you can claim claim tax credits and the tax office can help you with that, you can do it on-line in fact.
S
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2006-10-27 02:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what the CSA is but if it's child support for your kids from a previous relationship then you should be happy to pay it. You can't just throw your old kids away and get new ones.
If I'm wrong about this, I'm truly sorry. Just my opinion.
2006-10-27 02:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by IC 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very wrong!! the csa can only take out an agreed amount out of your pay packet agreed by u! so reduce it!
if your children need more then ask your x partner to get in contact with u so u can buy it and see where the money is going!! this is what many of my friends do works really well and cuts out the arguing on what the money is being spent on
2006-10-27 03:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by lotti 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont know about this exact figure but it is correct that you should support YOUR children in whatever circumstances...you chose to have them...If you are short of cash why go ahead and have even more children?
2006-10-27 04:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry mate but they are your kids - you can't just dump them cos you left the mother. They are still your responsibility. Be a man not a cry baby!!!! Life is never fair!
2006-10-27 02:09:33 · answer #8 · answered by Fluffy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wrong. I have brought 2 children up on my own without a penny off their fathers.
2006-10-27 02:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by dragon64 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They're your kids. Your wife's ability to pay has nothing to do with your obligation to support them. Don't have kids you can't pay for.
2006-10-27 03:13:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋