In divorce cases why does (most of the time) at least one party want to use the children invloved to hurt the other one. When they know that it ain't the child they want it's for the other person to hurt. Why can't they be mature adults and set their own feelings aside.
2006-10-27 02:04:17 · 14 answers · asked by Grace W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Children are often used as weapons, particularly in divorce
Anyone who does this needs to seek help!
2006-10-27 02:08:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, From the very first day the papers were filed until the last day the case was open nearly 3 years later I tried to givce my ex husband the most parental rights that were possible of our daughter. He faught me every step of the way. Kept dragging out the finalization because he wanted custody....and that....was NOT going to happen. But I was more than willing to give him maximum visitation of her. What could have been settled in 3 months took nearly 3 years because he faught me for custody. Now that everything is over and visitation was set and all the other details, he has not even called her once....Its been 8 months, no child support, not a penny one, no phone calls, not even for her birthday, not even a birthday card for her. I am wondering if I should attempt to revoke his parental rights?
I have never tried to keep him from seeing her, but now that it is actually court ordered that he be able to, he makes NO attempt to call or visit.
2006-10-27 09:11:39 · answer #2 · answered by Amber L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They want to hurt they're ex as much as possible and they know that using children will possibly effect the other partner the most. That's why you notice that one parent will suddenly have great interest in the children after the breakup when before they would hardly know the children's names. It's all about hate and revenge and getting back at the ex.
2006-10-27 09:10:17 · answer #3 · answered by M M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's awful for people to put their children in the middle of divorce. It has nothing to do with the children...it's between the 2 adults who couldn't get along. I think people put their children in the middle to use as pawns to get what they want. I don't think Judges or lawyers should allow this to happen. It hurts the children and they pay for it later in life by feeling like they were somehow respsonsible.
2006-10-27 09:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because emotional blackmail is always one of the best forms of controlling the other person. When people are hurting inside they become very selfish and want to control things as much as they can - and unfortunately children are usually the easiest things to control and manipulate.
2006-10-27 09:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by Pierre D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they mean to. It just happens. They are so angry with each other that the kids end up in the middle.
The only way it will stop is if people say to them they are doing it.
Make them face it, sometimes you just have to be rude to get the point across.
2006-10-27 10:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was caught in a divorce when i was 15 (im 21 now) nd i was 2 choose by my dad nd i sed no. he learmed the hard way that i didnt tlk 2 him for a year. he addmitted later that he was wrong. they dont mean to involve them it just happens. its hard for any divorce 4 the whole family
2006-10-27 09:07:04 · answer #7 · answered by fbi_know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the other person knows how to get to the jugular...which is by using the kids.To me that is cruel.
2006-10-27 09:08:31 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because thats the only way they feel can hurt the other person.i think it is so horrible and people who do that really shoudnt have kids
2006-10-27 09:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by charlotte m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are selfish, if they really care about their kids they wouldn't use them. the child is the one that suffers the most.
2006-10-27 09:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋