It seems as though my Man wants me to stay at home forever with our son. I'm 24, going to University, working a P/T job and he does nothing besides stay at home, smoke and hang out with his friends. He doesn't want me to complete my course and even goes out when i'm due to study.He even gives me a curfew after Uni.
2006-10-27 01:02:05 · 18 answers · asked by BuskinBeanz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
A man who loves you truly will not allow this to happen and will support you in your every endeavour towards your personal goals and dreams. That is it quite simply, I'm so sorry but you seem to have aquired yourself a wretched man here.
He sounds to me, to be something of a control freak and a bully, he probably feels very intimidated by your motivation and single-mindedness and in order that you should not suddenly wake up and discover one day that you do nto actually need him (this will happen eventually- let's hope it isn't years and years from now) he imposes himself upon you so that you feel compelled to keep him around. he will use various tactics including, whining, blaming you for his many faults, shifting responsibility for his happiness onto you...and generally being otherwise emotionally manipulative.
In addition to all of this your son will grow up to beleive that men are entitled to be lazy slobs, while the woman must work herself into the ground. You will teach him exactly how to become a carbon copy of this bone idle man, and that is all he will gain from him as a role model.
You should do yourself a favour and kick him out, if you do not do this now in 20 years time you will and then look back upon these times and wish you hadn't wasted all of those years on somebody so very unworthy.
If you listen to any one word I have said, listen to this part
Go here
http://www.womansavers.com/relationship-articles.asp
and read, i promise you- it will open up your eyes to what is happening around you
take care
S
x
2006-10-27 01:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a very insecure person, he thinks that once you get involved with more intellectual people (like yourself) with more goals than him, you are going to leave him, which it will probably happen. I'm not trying to be negative, but love and commitment is something that comes with respect, support, freedom and a helpful hand. Remember that you are doing your studies to better yourself and give your son a better future. Sometimes it will feel as you can't go on, but trust me, the light is BRIGHTER at the end of the tunnel, and the opportunities your studies will bring, are endless. Good luck
2006-10-27 01:26:45 · answer #2 · answered by damari_8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may feel that he is not good enough for you. He may feel that you will meet someone better. In that case he should put more effort in the relationship. Once he feels he is being a better partner, he will not feel threatened anymore. Most men in that situation get lazy because the woman is dependent on them. Is that the case? Make sure he knows what he is doing and why.
2006-10-27 01:05:39 · answer #3 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are more comfortable being the leaders. A woman who wants to better herself is a threat or rather considered to be a threat. In a way the man feels like she is saying that he is not providing enough for her so her need to better herself is a direct challenge to his 'manhood'. If you do not improve yourself and he in anyway becomes incapacitated or if your relationship ends and you have no qualifications, how will you look after yourself and your children? Reassure him that you need to do this for yourself and that it is not a reflection of his macho...
2006-10-27 01:12:51 · answer #4 · answered by kanikani 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i bet he thinks that if you better yourself then you want need him anymore. alot of men think this way and are afraid there wife will make more money than them and he will feel like he is not good enough for you.
a mans pride is pretty much all he has and is his pride is hurt he becomes an azz and has to find something he has control over.. ie.. giving you a curfew
do what you feel in your heart is right for you and your son his pride will heal and he will get over it if he really loves you and wants you to be happy!
2006-10-27 01:13:42 · answer #5 · answered by crazylady1193 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get off his a s s and do something or he will lose you. If that's true. He knows if you start going out and see the world and what it is really like that you will realize that he probably isn't the best thing for you. My husband did the same thing, and guess what? He wasn't the best thing for me. Now I have someone who helps me improve myself and wants me to be the best me I can be. Good Luck!
2006-10-27 01:06:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he knows that after you finish all your schooling and you make something of your life, you will realize what a jerk the guy is a dump him. It is a control for him to make sure he has control over you. Dump him now, you will be glad you did.
2006-10-27 01:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by MrNiceGuy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically fear and insecurity. He may beleive that your success may undermine his and that you will outgrow him. There is also the possibility that he fears that your extended group of freinds increases the risk that you will find somebody that you feel is more suitable for you.
Some men prefer the status qou
2006-10-27 01:11:23 · answer #8 · answered by neilkennedy2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should better yourself - and find a better man as well. Pity your son - he'll end up growing up like his dad if you are not careful.
I'd never stop my wife bettering herself - it's cos I'm not insecure about her being more able than I am.
2006-10-27 01:33:32 · answer #9 · answered by bw_r005t3r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my god! he gives you a curfew????!!!?!?! really??? and you obey him!!?!?!?
thats terrible! its like hes your dad!!
he is jealous and insecure, he is going to make your life miserable and end up dragging you down. if you want that stay with him, but i would be out like a shot if i was you!
2006-10-27 01:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by Fader's Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋