He cheated, and we have worked things out.
The trouble is he is now suffocating me with the I love you's, he is trying so so hard, that its making me pull away?
I know that the cheating is behind us, he makes sure im well aware of his every move...............i kind of feel hes going overboard. I dont know what to do ?
2006-10-27 00:57:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it's great that you have stayed together and worked things out. You have to understand that your husband is feeling a guilt like no other guilt. That is why he is going over board with the I love you's. Dont' pull away, just talk to him openly and tell him how you feel. Reasure him that you know he loves you. He cheated. This is eating him up inside, because he knows what he did was wrong. He doesn't know what to do with the guilt, the shame and the thought of almost loosing you because of it. It wouldn't hurt if he went to counseling to help him through this. It's nice to hear that a couple has worked through this. Most, divorce and thats the end of that.
2006-10-27 03:08:02 · answer #1 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There could be 2 possibilites of his this kind of behavior. First, he may have realized that whatever he did to you in the past was not right. So, he is trying to make up for every mistake that he made. Second, he could be trying to fool you again. In this case, he knows that you still suspect him for his wrong actions and that you may be looking for more clues. So since, he has not stopped cheating on you, he has been looking for better ways to drag your attention away from the real cause. Men could be the real bastards sometime. Believe me. I have been through the same situation. I feel the same too like whether he has really changed or he is simply trying to manipulate my thoughts again. You never know. There is no perfect answer. But you can always tell if a man is a liar or cheater by observing his behavior, and actions. Simply start observing him more than usual. And yes let me ask you what makes you think that he has left the cheating behind? See, why would he cheat on the first place if he had to be nice with you later on.
2006-10-27 01:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by mind 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You all worked things out,that's wonderful.Right now he's just feeling guilty because he did something stupid.Things will go back to normal soon just let him know you are his lover not his keeper.You don't need to know his every move that's where trust comes into the picture. In the meantime you try to figure out why he cheated in the first place.Relationships are hard,you have to work on them each and every day,but they are worth it.
2006-10-27 01:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by jean 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Let him know that he is being overbearing. Even though you appreciate his love and you are working on regaining trust, all the extra affection is making you feel uncomfortable. Maybe he is afraid that if he isn't showing you all of this love, that you will think he is fooling around again. If he backs off, will you think he is getting it somewhere else? I think he is just trying too hard to reassure you. Tell him you are working on the trust and you just need a little space of your own.
2006-10-27 01:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by leigh 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he feels guilt for cheating and is trying very hard to make it up to you. Let him know that he is smothering that it's OK for him to back off. You probably need your space to really think things through. Good luck!
2006-10-27 01:31:34 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is doing what he should be doing. Location transparency, you should never again give him blind trust.
As for the I love yous, for him its the only way he has to reassure you. He is living with guilt and shame and he is afraid of loosing you.
Check out this site its called "Affair Discover and Recovery"
http://www.network54.com/Index/32374
Its free, anonymous, and has links to good information. Start in the "Discovery" forum
2006-10-27 01:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Guilt...and overkill...on his part. Tell him that you don't want or need a report on his every move...you want to learn to trust him on your own, without his interference.
2006-10-27 01:32:23 · answer #7 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that he is overwhelming you. He needs to put a stop to this or he will continue to drive you away. If he wants to be with you then he needs to know that this stops now.
2006-10-27 01:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by ddy'sgrl77 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to him, tell him how he is making you feel, communication is the key to keeping a good relationship
2006-10-27 01:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by donttalkjustplay05 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I sense a little guilt on his part. Tell him to tone it down, perhaps talk. This is something that people just don't do, talk, talk, talk.
2006-10-27 01:03:45 · answer #10 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋