Not interested in hearing peoples moral standpoints on this one, just want to hear father's experiences who have been in this situation...
2006-10-27 00:50:59 · 11 answers · asked by 0000 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I don't know what it's like from a father's perspective, but from my own experience I have a nephew who I never knew about till he was 3! When my brother (who lives at home btw) told me, i was shocked! He now comes to my house every 2nd weekend (he lives with his mother) and all is normal as if i have know him forever:)
2006-10-27 00:54:09 · answer #1 · answered by Motti _Shish 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't speak from experience, but I think it would be hard on both of you. I read your first question regarding your little girl and your ex-girlfriend; I think you should disregard her opinion and see your daughter at all costs! If you do not, you will only reinforce all of those bad ideas that she is putting into your daughter's head. I have a little boy his almost the same age as your daughter; he too was born in May. He is developing some stranger anxiety right now; I would say your daughter may soon be entering the same stage...don't wait...see her...meet her. She needs you! I didn't develop a relationship with my father until I was 7 years old; he was in another state when I was born. It was his choice not to see me-not my mother's choice. He has recently passed away, and I can tell you that his choice had an effect on both of us. He changed my life as well as his own. I can tell you that he expressed how much he regretted not being in my life up until that point, and you can NEVER replace the time that you lose because you didn't see your child. He, unfortunately, never got to see my son and never even knew I was pregnant (it happened shortly after he passed away). I know he would have been so excited and would have done anything to have been a part of my child's life. Please, do yourself a favor, be a part of your child's life at any cost. You can see your child no matter what her mother says. Go to court and get visitation rights; do whatever you have to do. Your little girl can't choose to see you, but you can choose to make things right for the both of you. If you do nothing, you are making the choice for both of you. I am not making a moral judgement on you; just giving you an opinion. It will be much easier to try and start a relationship with her now; she won't even remember that you weren't there the first six months... Good luck in whatever you decide.
2006-10-27 02:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by CB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like most of the previous posters I'm not a father. But I'm not going to spout off on morals to you either. None of our business how you got to be in the situation your in, that's not why your here.
So, I'm going to try to be helpful. Before I get started I should give you some background on me so that you know I'm not pulling this stuff outta nowhere. I'm 25, and have an 8wk old daughter. (she'll be 9weeks tomorrow). Her father and I were together for a while and I broke things off. A week later (christmas eve) I found out I was pregnant, and he was leaving for basic training. He's currently stationed overseas until August 2008.
At the moment I'm trying my hardest to come up with a plan for a smooth transition so that when she meets her Daddy it's not awkward. The best that I've come up with is take it slow when you first meet your kid. He/She might not warm up to you right away. Don't try to buy the kid's love. And once you finally have the opportunity to meet your child, make sure you remain a fixture in his/her life. You're blessed that you'll be able to have the opportunity to meet/see your child before he/she is old enough to remember not knowing you.
Not sure if that last line made sense, hopefully you get what I'm saying.
Hopefully some Dad's will respond with more info then what I can give.
2006-10-27 08:32:25 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say ask my Dad, but he's dead.
I just know the emotional impact it had on his life because of it.
He didnt see me for the first12 years let alone 6 mths, and he suffered many bouts of depression. The parents with custody really need to think long and hard before denying a parent access to what is 50% biologically their's. I know you said no moral standpoints, I was trying not to be moral, but I'm the only voice my Dad has now.
2006-10-27 00:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really! Those of us with "responsibility" were there for our wives moral support and to raise the children we were responsible for bringing into this world. I am still married to the same woman after 31 years and raised two responsible children who now have children of their own! You might take a look at your priorities in life then ask yourself "why"?????????? The child is the one who bears the suffering here not two of you! You had your little irresponsible fling then walked away from responsibility!!!! As for your indication on "moral" issues, maybe that's something you need to take a long hard look at and try to get in touch with some!
2006-10-27 00:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not a father, but I never met my father until I was six. My father was in the military and was in a different country for that six year period. I don't think it was hard on him though. My dad just saw his first born child for the first time at age 26.
2006-10-27 01:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI olly. well im not a male. But my ex never seen our child till he was about 1 year old. He love it. my son is now 3. My ex love having him and he said he wishs he started to see him when he was alot younger. My now DF has 2 kids to his e wife and the last time he seen them was n january of this year as they live about 14 hours drive away. He is always missing them and gets upset about it sometimes!...... so my advice on seeing how my e reacted for th first few times of seeing his so. Enjoy every moment!!! and good luck
2006-10-27 00:56:26 · answer #7 · answered by tamira_jason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have friends in the military that have been deployed while their child was born. They just couldn't wait to get home to be with the baby! I'm sure it might be a little overwhelming, but after a while, it will feel like you were always there.
2006-10-27 01:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by Kbailey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a father but a mom of 4; wonderful b/c you got to see your child and your child got to see his/her Dad!
2006-10-27 01:33:42 · answer #9 · answered by sml 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y what made you not to see ur child for 6 months?
2006-10-27 01:11:09 · answer #10 · answered by pinkcloud2015 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋