Okay, here's the scoop. We are a military family stationed overseas for about 2 years. Of that two years, my husband has been injured for about 14 months. He has had the surgies on his foot that he needs and is on the road to recovery. Things are looking great for him! He is being medically discharged because of the injury (he walks with crutches and a limp). I have proposed to him that after Christmas, the kids and I leave to go back home and get things in order...employment, housing, cars, schools, etc. while he finishes the last 4 weeks here. He agrees that it is a good idea but refuses to let us go without him. What do you all think would be a good idea?
2006-10-27 00:46:55 · 11 answers · asked by Older Sister 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's a little more info...we had the medical discharge orders already and were scheduled to leave in June. They then decided to do another surgery and wait until he completed physical therapy to re-start the discharge process (which he has done). So we are kind of in limbo and have been for quite some time. He is totally self-sufficent but is unable to walk without his crutches. Our children are very homesick as they thought they were going home over the summer and it didn't happen...they are my top priority right now as I think they have been on the back burner for 14 months while we have been dealing with the injury.
2006-10-27 01:11:36 · update #1
Hi. Military wife here. My husband would never allow it either, good idea or not. I agree with you and would do my best to persuade him to allow it. Is he just scared to allow you to travel alone with kids? Ya know some men just don't think women can handle things in bad situations and don't want them to travel because of it. I hate to hear your kids are homesick. Our first station was in Hawaii and we are from Georgia. Right now though I would say to make sure what you and him decide it is for the best interest for you all as a unit and not just about the kids. Four weeks isn't a long time to be apart but maybe he is scared to be alone, you traveling, or maybe he wants to feel like he is a part of it all. I am so mixed on it because I can see so many different issues with in it but I would say that it would help you all to go do that. Good luck, I really hope he allows this, just don't push too hard or he will think something is going on. You know the bad military wives have given us good ones a really bad name
2006-10-27 01:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a nice fantasy, but if you are not in a financial situation to support a family of 6 and college for 4, be realistic. Provide the best enviroment for your childern by being able to afford them. The stress of money problems isn't worth it. Money issues can put a big strain on the family and your marriage. The last thing you need is 4 - 6 kids as a single Mom. Find a happy medium, a place where you can easily afford your kids, plan for their future, and still have extras that will meet you and your husband's needs. I came from a family with 4 kids. It's really not that big, but it requires a solid financial plan to put 4 kids thru college. If you want more, you may have to consider finding a job to help provide for the needs of your children. The stay at home thing is a luxury, but your husband might need a little financial support in order to support your growing family. Why put so much of a financial burden on your husband? If you go back to work, then you are going to have to pay for child care. It's hard being a stay at home Mom, especially when your husband is away. Just be happy with what you have and stop before you put a huge financial strain on your marriage.
2016-05-22 00:24:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it a trust issue? If not, it would only benefit him by you going home and getting things in order. Unfortunately, due to his injury, he wouldn't be that much help with the physical part of the move. It sounds like you have family that would help you with that. That way, when he comes home, he can look forward to some rest and relaxation.
2006-10-27 00:58:53 · answer #3 · answered by leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a good idea to go but only if you get him to agree. Part of his recovery I'm sure, is having his family around. I'm sure he's been through a lot and doesn't want to be left alone. There will be plenty of time to set things up when you all get home. Relax and do what you can from where you are to start setting things up.
2006-10-27 00:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was a matter of four months I would feel differently. I am ex military myself.
I would wait for the four weeks, then when you get home you can make joint decisions about the issues you need to take care of. Housing and cars are decisions that a couple should make together, both should be in agreement on them.
2006-10-27 00:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't even get my husband to take a trip home to see his family without me and the kids going too... not even for a week. Alot can be said about a man that doesn't want to be away from his family if he doesn't have to be. As impatient as you and the kids are about going home, a few more weeks isn't much for him to ask under the circumstances. Consider yourself lucky to have a husband that didn't want to be apart from you and your kids for any longer than he needs to be. Instead of feeling like he's being stubborn and difficult,.... appreciate the fact that he loves and needs you that much.
2006-10-27 01:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously your husband need you with him to help him out. You're probably in Germany, and the cost of plane tickets for you and your (kids?) are a lot of money. The military will not pay for that if you're not on orders. You can do a lot of research for employment, housing, cars, schools, etc online. There's a ACAP place or ACS that you can use where you are. USE IT!
2006-10-27 00:52:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would hangout there and travel as a family. When someone is convalescing, their moods can swing like wildfire. I'm sure he feels lonely at times and he needs his family with him. Stand by him and be there for him. Stay and travel together. Plus, taking kids out of school in middle of year, not good. Hope this helps
2006-10-27 01:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by six7foru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband needs you right now
why hurry
4 weeks will be over in a flash
he is probably shell shocked from his injury
[you didnt say how it happened]
keep his family with him and let him lean on you until he is stronger
2006-10-27 00:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for him. For what he has been through he most likely doesn't want to let the people who mean the most to him out of his sight in fear that he may lose them. Just do what you can with him and wait.
2006-10-27 00:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋