How do I become my self again?

Question

How do I become my self again? I am 20 years old now and I never had good luck with women. I had only 2 girlfriends one at age 16 and other 18,I was going out with them mabe for a month before it ended. So I started looking for something to help me in that area. I read this book how to improve your dating,its all about comletely changing you personality,be some one also;fake. So I started using it and yes I did get more attention froms girls but in the end of the day I felt bad and miserable because that just wasn't me I felt sick to the stomack.I started always watching my behavior if I do everything as in says in the book. One day I decided I just wanted to be my self to be happy again. But I acted like some one also for so long, I dont know who I am anymore. How should I act and do things.How I was before.I am always thinking am I being my self now or is it something learned. How do I get back to being my self.How can I erase all that programming from what I read and how I acted?

Answer 1

You're in a unique position right now. You can see how one can change their behavior through changing their actions. This is a huge discovery. You've also proved that you have the ability to focus your mind on accomplishing these changes. This is to be commended. Now use this ability to watch yourself in a different way. Notice your first reaction and response to any given situation and this will be a window into your intrinsic self. Learn from this, but remember things you find you want to change about yourself, you have the ability to do so. Bless you.

Answer 2

Kid, I'm forty-two years old and have had 25 or so sexual relationships with woman in my life that were anything more than one night stands,and only five of them were truely meaningful in anyway shape or form to be honest about it. I've never been married, I've had only one child that I know of, whom I've never had a relationship with,(My Biggest Personal Regret in Life) I live with a woman right now, whom I love, and care about very much. Does that mean she likes everything I do? NO. Do I like every thing She does? NO. Do I understand Women in General, anymore than I did When I was your age?NO. Am I the Same person I was last month, or six months or even a year ago? Hell NO. The self is an ever growing and changing part of who you are. So don't worry about it. Either get a fake ID, and start going to the bars if all you want out of woman is sex,and if you want more than that, (Which I do personally myself,) Try finding them some where else, like at church, or at school, or join a bowling league or something, for Christ's sake. However you choose to go right now, is going to change back and forth several times in your life anyway, and the best advice I can give you, is buy yourself a BIG box of Condoms, and Use them every single time you have sex!!! At least Until you have found a woman whom you like enough, to over look her short comings, and who is willing to over look your short comings,( and you do have Short comings,no matter what your Mother tells you), and the two of you have enough income, to support not only your selves, in food, housing ,clothing, transportation, and entertainment, and still have pocket change on payday from the week before., before you even think about stopping the use of Birth control. Now Get out there and Break a leg. Preferably not the little short one in the middle.

Answer 3

This is pure guessing on my part, but since you're only 20 years old I think you have time to take a little time off from trying to meet and date girls (not long - just a couple of months or so).

In that time, just find activities that the old you used to like and do those. Find some books that the old you would have liked (not self-help books though) and read. Go shopping for a couple of pieces of clothing that are what the old you liked. Spend time with your family and your guy friends. If you have a pet spend time with it. Take time to go out and walk and get some fresh air and sun and thinking done. In other words, take two or three months to enjoy just being you and to get back in touch with everything you are and like. You need to fight the effects of your being fake for so long (and whatever it is the book told you) by being more you than ever, and you can best do that alone and away from girls.

After having time to think and enjoy time alone and pursue some nice things you like to do the book will wear off, and you'll be able to bring your real self back onto the dating scene. You need to replace whatever you've had filling your head over recent past with new stuff that is stuff of your own choosing and stuff that is the real you.

Answer 4

Hang around your friends they will bring back those memories and hopefully bring you back. Try not to think about it just let your feelings and actions flow freely. If you have to think about stuff then it's probably not you. As far as the girls go try to open up a little more so they can get a feel of your personality. Talk to girls about regular stuff but without the intention of dating them. If you talk to them in a way that they feel you might be coming on to them then they may not talk to you. Just be friends with them and maybe they will come around to the point were they will begin to have some sort of feelings for you.

Answer 5

Think its called grown up m8 :) you are now in the real world..personally i would just behave how i would don't be so ambitious to meet a girl you will do eventually..your only 20 got your whole life ahead
Good luck

Answer 6

Just be yourself. It sounds like an old cliche, but trust me it works. I only had a few girlfriends up until I was 25, and it wasnt that I was a dork or anything, its that I wasnt being ME. Once I stopped caring what others thought and was just myself, I got more dates. Women like confident men. They like men who are self-realized. Don't compare yourself to other people.

Answer 7

each and every physique is going by adjustments using fact we are consistently gaining knowledge of as we flow relating to the projects of extensive-unfold residing . i'm no longer a similar guy or woman i used to be the two . i like to think of that i will use the main beneficial issues that i'm gaining knowledge of to mildew myself in the time of my life time . attempting new issues is merly a gaining knowledge of technique . on account which you're worried i think of you're on the appropriate music . you will entice women who see a actual guy interior the long-term ,on account which you're so in contact approximately that and that's good . i be attentive to that maximum persons want a speedy restoration for each thing a super form of the time yet there is lots to be stated for sufferers . good luck wish this helps !

Answer 8

Get back to your normal life before. Act like you did before you read the book.