I am gay and I suddenly feel really bad around men. But I have never had gay sex how do you do it?
2006-10-26 20:49:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You don't really say much in your question. I can only speculate based upon what you've said, so apologies if I'm completely off track....
It is possible you're experiencing internalised homophobia, or you're experiencing fear because you "don't know what to do".
If you are worried about not knowing what to do, you could either obtain an information book/guide about gay sex, or wait until you're with someone - don't worry about telling your partner you don't know - he should be understanding, and may feel privileged about being the first one.
If you've got feelings of disgust, then either you're not currently turned on by the idea of gay sex - or you're "not allowing yourself" due to internalised homophobia. If this is the case, then you need to tackle the issues which are "holding you back".
There are gay people who don't participate in certain gay sexual activities (including anal) and even some who don't participate in any - usually known as g0ys.
2006-10-28 05:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by nemesis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, I'm not sure what you mean when you say you feel bad around men so my first piece of advice is to not even think about sex till you have sorted out your feelings. It doesn't matter how long this takes you, it is important that you know who you are and what you want before you jump into bed with someone. My second piece of advice is, when it comes to sex for the first time it doesn't matter if we are straight or gay it is still a scary experience and is better when it's with someone we care about. You'll know what to do when the time is right. Concentrate on enjoying life at the moment, go out with friends, go to the gay clubs, watch gay porn, have fun and be yourself!! Once you're sure you know what you want and your fears have gone, find yourself a hot piece of @ss and enjoy!! lol hope it works out for you x
2006-10-26 21:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by cheryl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explore your feelings about men,what does it mean you are suddenly feeling bad about them?
If your not feeling good about other men then perhaps worrying about how to have sex with them is not where your thoughts should be.
Try and identify your feelings and come to terms with them, it's important that you listen to yourself and be true to who you are.
If your feelings mean you are not trusting men, attracted to men, connecting with men then do not go to the sex part of it. Doing so could bring you into an unpleasant experience that will only leave you feeling worse.
When the time for sex is right for you then that is the better time to explore with someone your comfortable and connected to.
Sex is an exchange with two people who should be developing loving feelings for each other and if it is true then you will know what to do or your partner will guide you.
2006-10-27 00:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by Crampy Grampy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have sex with your heart tuned in to your partners needs and desires. If you feel it go for it but if it's invasive then ask first. If you're shy around men that's okay join a group if you feel you would like to connect with other gay men, or join a group online or phone London Switchboard (yellow pages) and talk to someone.Don't be afraid of who you are. x
2006-10-27 10:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by fuzzierfelt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wouldn't happen to have a favorite show with two male characters that you'd really like to picture together, would you? May I introduce a little thing called "slash fanfiction;" it's basically fans of shows writing their own ideas in story format about any or all characters doing whatever the author chooses. Slash centers on male/male relationships (anything from holding hands and kissing to full on bumpin' the uglies). Now, here me out!
Lets go with my personal favorite, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For me, I would Google "Spike/Xander slash fanfiction." Find a webpage that looks interesting, find a story that sounds good, read; repeat as necessary. Nearly all fandoms (TV shows, movies, books, etc) that are fairly popular, and even a few that I've never heard of, have some kinda fanfiction and most have some kinda slash fanfiction. Feel free to message my 360 is you want links to any of the aforementioned Spander fics.
You're probably wondering what this has to do with anything. Well... most of the authors are actually very well educated, either through personal experience, talking to others, or searching the 'net themselves. Thanks to my obsession with this stuff, I was able to tell a girlfriend everything her man was doing wrong when he went for the anal sexing. Go forth, enjoy. If straight women can learn about sex and romanticize it all through Harlequin books, you can do the same with your favorite TV characters.
2006-10-26 21:01:08 · answer #5 · answered by Suraya 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There isnt a reason to feel bad around men, just be yourself, do what you makes you feel comfortable and relax. The other men might be feeling the same way.
Just let things happen naturally.
2006-10-27 00:47:04 · answer #6 · answered by Angelo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not gay, but i have a lot of gay friends, just take your time, there is no rush. do what ever you feel comfortable with to begin with, also tell the partner you are with at the tim that you are new to this and are unsure what to do. They will understand, they have all been there. good luck hun xxx
2006-10-26 20:54:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you feel bad around men??? Even if you haven't had gay sex..you won't need an instruction booklet on how to do it...just let it happen.
2006-10-26 23:16:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you mean by "really bad"? As far as how you do it....well I'd show you myself except I am probably not allowed to on line. But, I can tell you it's a lot of fun!
2006-10-26 20:55:00 · answer #9 · answered by Fireman T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find yourself a man and he will teach you or you can discover it together. If you don't want to wait, just watch gay porn.
2006-10-26 20:52:55 · answer #10 · answered by Kuji 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋