im 19 and just had my first child. when im out, even with my parntner we get people ashuming we sit at home and claim ever benifit! well we dont i work part time and my partner works full time and we own a rented property. not from the council we privatly rent..... i think its digusting that older people go around juging young people. i would not dream of walking up to a 40 year old woman with a baby and say how old are you, your to old to be having children. so y should i get it.
2006-10-26 20:23:28 · 50 answers · asked by Amy L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i'm with you i was 21 when i had my daughter, i have been with my partner for 7 years we own are own house and up untill my daughter was born we both worked. i left wrk after having her because my partner has a very good job and we can afford it! (i no i'm lucky) but people looked down on me and now they look down on me and say i'm lazy because i don't work! some say my daughter should be in nursery! but i don't agree its harder wrk been at home! and my daughter is so advanced for her age! i dont regret anything i think we made all the right choices i am now studying to be a teacher and loving it! ignore what everyone else thinks i'm sure you are a fantastic mum!
i also think its better to start younger (not too young tho) because by the time i am forty my morgage will be paid and hopefully my daughter will be a uni and my spare cash can help pay for that or help her to get a house etc
2006-10-26 21:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by lillypops 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
When I had my first child I was 18 and I know exactly what your saying.
I dont know why older people are like this because in 'there day' this was the norm, they had their fist babies before they were 20, so what's the differance now.
Why should young mothers be catagrised. I am now a mum of 3 and 1 more on the way. I work full time as an ICT Tutor.
The way I see it, when I'm ready to retire, the kids will have grown up and be old enough to look after themselves.
All I can say is Stuff there oppinion and enjoy your time with your child, It doesnt last long...
2006-10-27 01:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the problem is that most teenage mums are living in council houses or on estates. That is a fact.
Most middle-class people put off having kids until they own their own house and have matured beyond the stage of partying etc..
I had my first kid in April and we were 27 when he was conceived. By modern standards, especially in London, that is young.
At 19 there is no way I would have been ready or responsible for a child. If i see a very young mum i just feel they can not be mentally ready for such a challenge. I do accept there are exceptions and you may well be one of them.
Problem is that the middle classes pick up the tab for all the teenage mums and benefit scroungers around the UK- it is very annoying to see people with multiple kids when you can only afford to have 1 or 2 yourself.
On the other side of the coin I agree that many people are leaving it too late. Having a kid at 40 is pushing it but some people are not in a secure enough position to support a child until that time or too busy with careers. If it is the latter then they can not be surprised if there are problems conceiving.
Society has shifted and people are generally in their 30's when the first kid arrives- this means people will only continue to look down on teenage mums more than ever.
I am sure you are a good mum but you really are young. I mean all my friends were out enjoying themselves at that age, not tied down with a kid and you won't want to stop doing that for years yet.
2006-10-26 23:13:23 · answer #3 · answered by Acer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My daughter who is 15 years old got caught out and became pregnant and has now had her beautiful baby girl. The reality of peoples reactions have been worlds apart from the stereotyped reactions that the media portray.
At the end of the day - she was doing what many other 15, 25, 30 35 etc year olds up to and got caught out.
Its all about the attitude to the situation more than anything else and her attitude has been truly admirable.
My daughter was worried that she would be named as a 'slag' (she has been with her boyfriend for two years) though the reality is that she had a more positive feedback and reactions than any other event in her life.
She is continuing with her education (I am supporting her without benefits also I have my own business) and she is determined to continue with her career as a criminal psychologist which I know she will achieve.
I believe that people do judge when they observe someone in the street though when the reality is personal the reactions are so very different.
Hold your head high and remember . . . concentrate on what you are able to control and stuff the ignorant presumptuous reactions of others right back where they belong . . . up their a***. x
2006-10-28 11:10:04 · answer #4 · answered by Paula 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how they do it where you live but here when you RENT a property you do NOT own it. The property belongs to the landlord or agnecy you are renting from. Also I doubt very much you could live on your part time job and your boyfriend's salary over here, the cost of living is just too high so the child at the very least would more than likely be on some kind of public assistance and there is where the problems lie. The taxpayers here in the U.S. are getting tired of having to support the children of the very young because the very young decide to have sex before they are financially and emotionally ready. If at 19 you are financially as well as emotionally able to raise a child then kudos. However here in the U.S. you wouldn't be able to.
2006-10-26 20:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really don't look at someone that is 19 as a teenager. (even though i know 19 is still a teenager) your over 18. Your of age.
Anyhow about teen mothers i will not get why they would want to even have a baby so early in their life. They have way up in their 40's to have a baby. Why not go to school and have a career before playing house?
Their are other things to do besides get pregnant when you are so young like that.
That is good that you say your life is good. But tell me if you think it is so great for a 13 or 14 yr old to be pregnant?
2006-10-26 20:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you're probably quite rare which is why there seems to be this stereotype of teen mums. i agree people shouldn't judge but they do. it's life. for me, i think people should live life a bit before having a baby. it's a hard job, though rewarding and the best job in the world but i wouldn't have been ready to do it in my teens. i'm 33 now and am loving my 7 month old, i've got a career and have done a lot with my life which i hope i can pass on my experiences to my son. i say things now that my parents once said to me - ah, getting old but it's true, as a teen, you know very little about life. good luck though and well done on working part time. more people should take a leaf from your book.
2006-10-26 23:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by Lily 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, being an adult does not mean all of us look down upon teen moms, yes we feel that being a teen is to young to have a child. Actually I think the parents are looked down more on the subject because alot of parents do not take the time to explain the subject to girls and boys, or young people about sex. They let them find out the hard way, I hope everything works out for you and the child.
2006-10-26 22:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there i had the same when i had my first st 18 just think how bad it is for me now im pregnant with my second and im only 22. They too dont realise that i have always worked until very recently, my partner also works full time and we have a mortgage to pay.
I believe to a certain degree its better this way because by the time my kids go to school i will have my family, my house, and be half way back to getting my career and i will only be 25-26 most people are just starting off at this age. So u go for it girl and enjoy your baby.
2006-10-26 20:37:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
A lot of people in general do because they think the teen is probably not ready and rushed into the pregnancy due to poor planning.
Most teens are minors although you are an adult. Many teens live at home an a grandparent takes care of the teen's child. Hope that helps, just ignore those rude people. Good luck to you.
2006-10-26 20:29:49 · answer #10 · answered by bluasakura 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋