I married my high school sweetheart almost 15 years ago. But, we have been seperated for almost 2 years. We each dated another person for almost 1 yr during that time. We are now trying to work things out. After being with this other person sexually, I realized that my spouse is not the best kisser and is just plain, dull & boring in bed. I am terrified to tell my spouse I want to spice things up...ie: have a threesome or bi experience. My spouse is just to straight laced for these kind of things (I think). I want to introduce my spouse into some of the things I experienced while we were separated but, I don't want my spouse to think I am a freak. How should I approach this? I think I need to find out about this before we cancel the divorce. I now realize how important having great sex is in a relationship.
2006-10-26 19:34:54 · 10 answers · asked by lostandfound 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So you were separated for close to 2 years? That's a long time to learn some new things. You're not completely sure what she likes and dislikes in bed, so she might be thinking you're boring too. The first thing I would suggest is watching a porn flick with her. I'm not talking about Ron Jeremy's greatest hits, but a soft core porn flick. As different scenes come up, notice her body language and also casually ask what she thinks about the sexual acts you're watching. Secondly, I would suggest trying a few new things...JUST THE 2 OF YOU. Regardless of whether or not she's a freak, forget about that idea of a threesome and for now, enjoy her and spend time finding out about her.
2006-10-26 19:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the KEY to Any and all relationships. Just tell your spouse that you would like to spice up the relationship and if he/she had any ideas on how to do this. Tell them that you don't wont to go back to the way things were, you want it to be different. You want the relationship to last (until death do we part) what ever you do make sure your partner has his/her input on the decision. Start off slow. begin with some "skin flicks" then if he/she is o.k. with that, take them to an adult themed store or go on line and order some toys and edible cremes and gels. Ease them in slowly then show him/her your freaky side, you never know,(with a little coaxing) he/she may be an UNDERCOVER FREAK!
2006-10-27 02:54:36 · answer #2 · answered by sayj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONESTY works everytime... if you dont get the answer you are after then you know for sure, don't push the issue to much but it may take some time for your partner to fully understand what you are after.. the porn idea is an awsome one, opens up some dialouge for you to discuss the issue... wanting to explore threesomes and bi sexuallity you must be careful with, feel out your partners opions first and you never know they could feel the same way... as for being a freak, i feel bi sexuallity is normal for most people (most just don't want to admit it )..
hope i have helped you..
2006-10-29 23:50:08 · answer #3 · answered by srs8124 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of thinking of how boring she is because she doesn't want to do these things...why don't you look at it as if she just values you more than that. She doesn't want to share you, and hopes that you value her enough to not want to share her. It doesn't mean she isn't freaky...I'm sure she would be more than willing to spice things up with you if you asked. (maybe not in the same ways as you would like) Maybe she has you placed on a pedestal and believes that you value each other and your vows more than some hot and kinky 3 some.
2006-10-27 03:30:43 · answer #4 · answered by Cortney & Nathan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That Will definitely kill the relationship.
The problem with another person in your love life is it is another person. A person with feelings, hopes and desires, and aspirations. Some one always feels left out.
Then you get hooked on having two people trying to please you and sex with one person isn't enough.
Your spouse feels in adequate, but now there another person to deal with.
Your not done playing, continue with the divorce.
Sounds like one person is incapable of pleasing you.
2006-10-27 03:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him show him ..GRADUALLY !!! Don't get all crazy on him at once, most men are real receptive when it comes to the freaky inhibitions of their mates..
2006-10-27 02:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by chubbie dumplins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just take control and show him what you like, dont worry he wont think your a freak id say he'll like it
2006-10-27 02:43:31 · answer #7 · answered by ohio_gurl042 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him or her the tapes of those K Razy days!
2006-10-27 02:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by B Low 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him just like that!!!!
2006-10-27 04:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by More Lies & More Smoke Screens 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just do it, with consent.
2006-10-27 02:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋