Why am I so insecure about my fiance looking at other women?

Question

I am so insecure about my fiance checking out or being attracted to other women that I question him every day! He came home and finally said yeah he had seen a "cute" girl and was attracted to her. I had a bad reaction to say the least and I don't understand why I feel this insecure. I am very attractive and keep him very happy in bed. I can't sort this one out in my head, it's driving me crazy. He makes it a point not to do it in front of me. He is totally respectful, but it really hurts my feelings when he tells me he saw a cute girl. What the heck?

Answer 1

You seriously need to get over this now otherwise you'll end up pissing him off to the point that he'll sneak around or censor his actions and withdraw from the relationship. Every guy is attracted to pretty girls and it doesn't matter how gorgeous you are. It wouldn't matter if you could personally pick what you wanted to look like. It has nothing to do with how attractive you are because regardless, familiarity does breed complacency to and extent. Even if your fiance/husband is not complacent with the relationship, he will take you for granted a little, and you will with him because the novelty of first getting together has worn off. If your fiance was to get together with any of the girls he finds so attractive, I guarantee within 3 months he'd be bored and looking at pretty girls again. Men are stimulated visually and this probably accounts for their fondness of porn but it doesn't mean they necessarily want to play out any of their fantasies because most are smart enough to realise that fantasies aren't real.
And the thing is, are you going to then state that you NEVER find any other men attractive? It's pretty unlikely you don't. Your fiance probably knows this too but he just has to deal with it.

Answer 2

You shouldn't be insecure. So what if he looks. That's what he has eyes for.You have to face the fact that you will not be the only woman in the world that he looks at or finds attractive. Now what he does with those feelings is another thing. I mean haven't you looked at nother man and thought he was cute. Yeah, it probably would be easier if he didn't say what he thought of another woman. But every man loves a woman with confidence, because if you feel insecure you're going to begin to act that way and become jealous and it's going to push him away.

Answer 3

I feel exactly the same way and I think I have partly figured out why it bothers me so bad. When I was younger my Dad left my mom for another woman and it hurt really bad. As much as I know with my head that my husband is not like that when I catch him checking out other women it just really ticks me off! I try not to show it but sometimes it's hard and he knows how I am and he tries not to do it in front of me.

Answer 4

Have you always been insecure about him checking out other woman?
Maybe something in YOUR past is surfacing. Or you may have found someone to be attractive and it's bothering you. It's a natural thing we all look at others, just remember he's your fiance, he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

Answer 5

Just think he would most likely act the same way as you if the situation was turned around. Being jealous and feeling insecure always plays apart in a relationship. Just remember hes your fiance for a reason, and if he looks thats fine just remind the street goes both ways.

Answer 6

Linda- I think everyone is insecure at one time or another. I use to be just like you. It gets better with age I think. Sometimes it still bothers me but I try to work through it. Everyone looks. You know you've seen that hot guy before and thought about it.

You would have something to worrier about if he did it in front of you or rubs it in your face. If he knows it bothers you he shouldn't do it. I use to get jealous about porn movies too, i think it's just in a mans makeup to want to see things like that.

Answer 7

If he is doing this with class, it should be no problem. If he's doing this blatantly like an *ss, then you should confront him about this. I tell my wife if I see a pretty girl when I see them and she notices I see them, but mostly to confirm that I'm not hiding anything. But I don't go out of my way to come home from work and tell her about every hot chick I saw and how I'd like to srcew them. thats pretty disrespectful.

Answer 8

i am the same! my partner loves me to death but i get so jealous when he says someone else is cute. what i found though is that when i innocently tell him how i saw someone, he gets the same way. its probably our ways of getting reactions from each other. like he wants to say your lucky to have a hunky spunky like me and im saying, your lucky you have a hottie like me lol jealously is normal just dont get over obsessed cos you have nothing to worry about, he wants to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you! its a good thing

Answer 9

hes acting childish..and ge knows you get p****d at his acting that way...so he does it more...it makes him feel big..that your jealous....just try to ignore him...all men look at other women anyhow...they cant help it..they think with the wrong head...the more you ignore his teases...the better it will be...he will start looking more at you...best wishes

Answer 10

Maybe because of his past or because you look at other men from time to time and figure if you do then he might do it too.