2006-10-26 19:15:23 · 18 answers · asked by paola 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I couldn't do it, but I suspect this will take some time. Let him show you he can be trusted. You don't have to do anything but wait.
2006-10-26 19:17:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it were me i would not do it honestly! being in a relationship is hard but being married is harder! i am 22 so i will give you the best advice that i can offer according to my experiences and me being in the relationship that i am in as of right now: first and foremost it would take a lot of hours of therapy or counceling and spending a lot of money to do that ! second, once a cheater always a cheater and once a liar always a liar! third, if you take him back he can do it again and again and again and play with you and your feelings and say what you want to hear. fourth, he knows that if you take him this time around you will take him the next time he cheats on you and so forth! lastly, i am sorry that he cheated on you but if i were you i would divorce him and move on and have a new and better life with out him! i know it might sound harsh coming from a 22 year old who is a college student but no woman should be lied to or cheated upon and if so, get out of the relationship and move on! i hope that helped and good luck!
2006-10-27 02:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by icycrissy27blue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
99% of cheaters never change. Each time they cheat it gets easier for them.
Plus, you might forgive but most women simply can't forget the mental picture of their husband screwing another woman.
Honestly, don't believe all his "sorry's". He's lining up the next one as we speak. Like roller coaster fanatics, cheaters are addicted to the rush. In addition, he has no respect for you. He went down on her then came home and tongue kissed you. He could've brought disease into your bed, all without asking you.
Those are quite a few issues to work through. Most marriages sign on for better or worse, not one strike and you are out. But fidelity is a huge part of marriage. It's a terribly complex issue, but he really has to prove himself and most cheaters don't want to be under that much scrutiny.
2006-10-27 03:18:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is going to be hard to gain back trust again. But if you really love him and if he is truly worth it, perhaps you can give him one more chance. Lot's of times women who want what you want will go to great extremes to have what you have and men like fools fall for temptation. If deep down inside you know he is a good man who perhaps made a terrible mistake I would give him another chance. But, it is going to take time and dedication on his behalf for this to work. It is going to take you to move on and not dwell on the past to much for this to work as well. If you dwell on things to much, you may just push him right out the door. So, I would give him one more chance and if he gives you one more reason to believe that he cannot be trusted again, I would get rid of him. Because if you don't have trust in a relationship, you don't have much of anything, but I am a firm believer of giving someone you truly love one more chance.
2006-10-27 02:27:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really want to make the marriage work its possiable. Please read a book by Dr. James Dobson titled "Love Must Be Tough". im not going to promise you that your hurt will go away instantly but time will lessen the pain. take it slow and easy and don't jump back into things too quickly. find out if he is what you really want and if your relationshiip is worth saving and if it is - I beg you to get the book. I helped me more than words can express. My husband cheated on me 4 years ago we are still together. I believer if it hadn't been for that book I would have set him on fire or left him.
2006-10-27 02:25:31 · answer #5 · answered by Chava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is earned, it will have to be earned back over time. Don't be surprised if it is never gets where it was.
How can you accept him back is with terms conditions and a time frame.
Three questions to ask your self.
Are you sure it was a cheat?
Is accepting him back really what you want?
What if it happens again?
2006-10-27 02:23:28 · answer #6 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much do you love him? You must love him an awful lot. ONLY take him back if you do believe he will NEVER do it again, if he told you and you didnt have to catch him, if he brought honesty to you.
If you truly are going to be with him again, you have to completely forget the past. not bring it up. Not make it ruin the future. There is no way to just let it go and set that pain free. he will need to be very patient also. You can forgive but you can't forget.
Good luck if that is your choice.
2006-10-27 02:19:24 · answer #7 · answered by BlondeBarbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably a terrible answer, but what worked for me was to cheat on him after I found out he cheated on me. I felt we were even (he found out that I cheated on him too) and we moved on. That was 8 years ago and we are now very happy and we never ever bring up that either of us cheated.
2006-10-27 02:22:56 · answer #8 · answered by alia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the bottom line is that whether you want him back? If its Yes, accept him. You can't forget but you can forgive. Re build the new relationship. Have you heard of reconciled marriages? Most of them got back incredibly well and infact their bond is even stronger than before...
2006-10-27 02:21:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should take him back because cheating for the first time is the hardest. He would do it again if you take him back. If you love him and want him back get over it, if not then it is at your own risk.
2006-10-27 02:30:18 · answer #10 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask me this better
How can i trust and accept back my wife after she cheat me?
Ans: before today ----> i can as long she confess and not do it again. i'll use my GOD's love to covered every single breaks on our relationship plus my kids.
Today ----> She's still refused.
Then bye - bye. she's NOT worth anything as all.
2006-10-27 02:43:54 · answer #11 · answered by peter71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋