My gf told me that she had lost feeling toward me. It is really painful and seems like no turning back. I really can’t bear the pain. I really love her. I told her to give me chance I will totally change. She said no point because she really has no more feeling toward me. What can I do? To let go or try? She wants to be my friend. We still stay together now. I don’t want her to move out either. I wonder, how can a person just totally no more feeling toward you and just back out like that? I know sometimes my mouth is bad, but I never have the intention to hurt her and I control her too much. I knew my mistake and I really swear that I will change. Please give me some advice.
2006-10-26 19:11:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A person don't loose interest in a person all of a sudden. It happens over a period of time. I would say this has been coming for some time. I'm sure that IF you had been listening to her, she more than likely has been hinting to you all along that she was getting tired of your mouth and your attitude toward her. You even said this in your question about your mouth and your controlling ways toward her. A relationship should be a 50/50 thing between the couple. When one finally gets enough of the ones bull crap, is when the relationship starts to crumble. Once this happens, some times it is too late to do anything about it. If this has happened with you before in the past and you promised her you would change and YOU did for awhile and then went back to your old ways again, good luck on getting her back. But on the other hand IF this is a first time thing.....you might...just might get her back. But your sure going to have to prove to her that you love her with all your heart and walk the talk!!! Be very affectionate with her and show your love for her. Don't be controlling with her and WATCH your mouth!!! I'm not saying that you are going to get her back, cause it may already to late. Like the old saying goes.....you never know what you had until it is gone.......well good luck.........
2006-10-26 19:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking and not swear, listening to each other and trying to workout what's behind this is the best thing.... At least then you know you've at least tried to do absolutely everything.... If it does't workout then I'm so sorry that it didn't... People can grow apart but usually it's down to lack of communication, or one party trying more than the other, not the person they thought they started with....
People don't just change over night it usually takes time for that to happen.... If she really wanted out then I'm surprised she's still living with you....
Maybe you've not said what she's waiting for.... Nor doing what you've stated you'd do....
When you say things in haste and are hurtful it's hard to take back what's been said, but in time you'll learn to bite your tongue, think first before saying things....
If you love her as much as you say then if she's sure that it'll not workout then you really need to let her go.... If you can cope with her being your friend then at least she's still in your life, no compensation for you tho, but in time you'll heal...
2006-10-27 03:02:33 · answer #2 · answered by K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you both drift apart emotionally. This happens by 1) not spedning enough time together and takling with each other on a regular basis about your days and problems....2) the relationship was based on superfical ideals from the beginning, and you only liked each other for frivilous reasons so naturally you'll drift apart because you were never really connected from the start.
When someone like her just says what she says though, without any real explanation, their taking the coward way out of the relationship by being too afriad to confront the whole truth with you. You should find someone who's honest with you, someone who won't leave you with the burden of no closure.
2006-10-27 02:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said that your mouth can get bad, and this tells me that you are emotionally abusive towards her. I can understand how she feels if this is true. I myself am a doormat, and have put up with abuse for 5 years until yesterday. I told my husband to pack up and leave, I had no choice or he would continue being mean and calling me names all of the time. Sometimes when a person puts her faith and love and trust in you, and you use her to vent all of your frustrations out on, she will get tothe point where she can either love you or love herself. by being with a mean person, she was infact hurting herself. by leaving you, she is allowing herself to be happy.
If I am right and you are just plain mean to her when you get angry, the first thing you should do is stop looking to her for your happiness and look to yourself. realize that you must nurture a relationship while it exists, not once it is finished. Change your ways and her idea of you will change as well.
Good luck in your quest for happiness. I hope that you can make yourself and her happy for a very long time.
2006-10-27 02:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by proud mommy and wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People grow apart and that's why they change. You don't sound like a great boyfriend afterall. You said you sometimes bad mouth, controlling. Maybe she realized that she doesn't want some who is like you. If you love her than let her go...she said she wants to be friends and you outta respect her for it. You said that you change well...action speaks louder than words. Why not change to the better and let her judge it herself. If she still have feelings for you she will give you another chance....
2006-10-27 02:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is back off. Don't act crazy trying to win her back. Be nice to her and tell her you understand why she feels you need to break up. I don't know if she'll want to get back together with you, but backing off always seems to make significant others more interested. Just start treating her like a friend, and move on with your life. Maybe if you do change she will see it and want to get back together.
2006-10-27 02:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by alia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to understand how she feels is to think of similar situations when YOU felt the same way towards a girl & started loosing interest.... only then will you REALLY understand & forgive her... just let her go...and remember, there is nothing wrong with you,.. just as there was nothing wrong with the girl you had lost interest for...... you will find someone else very soon, don't worry.
2006-10-27 03:28:39 · answer #7 · answered by Amina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speaking for myself, I think people can just grow apart. I have been with my boyfriend for 3-yrs. and all the problems in our relatioship have caused me to grow apart from him and my love for him has faded away. We are still living together but my feelings for him are gone. I now think of him as only a friend. I think one reason for this has to do with all the times he has promised to change but instead stayed the same.
2006-10-27 02:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by Sadgurl80 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because all human beaing are selfish internally except few. once if we dont get what we want from others we avoid them why all of we know, to hate someone is very easy compare to like someone with no selfishness. one and only best way is to show likeness and kindness to regain the situation no other options are there. just some likeness and kindness but remember dont be begger.
2006-10-27 02:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by GLADIATOR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has made her intentions clear. Be matured enough to accept that and move on. I think you did'nt give her due regard and respect. So give yourself some space and time and analyse yourself first. Change first and then look for new friends.
2006-10-27 02:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by yuvan53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋