my husband of four years goes out all the time and kicks it with is boys- never tells me where he's going and always comes back past two. mean while im expected to sit at home with our three children and do nothing. he never asks me to come with and if i want to go some where with my friends its a problem. he wont wiatch the kids so i end up sitting at home while he goes out. I cant afford a baby sitter and i feel like this is wearing on me. Am i the only one with ths problem and what you you all do if you where me?
2006-10-26 19:04:21 · 11 answers · asked by Chava 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh my God girl, have we got alot in common. my husband of almost 5 years has been drinking and going to the bars, he never allows me to be with him. I just sit at home with our 3 kids, all boys, one is still breastfeeding. I stay home, cannot afford a babysitter. Guess what! yesterday I made him pack and leave us here. I am broke with no job, I dont care. I told him to decide what he wanted, the bar or his family. He is taking a long time to decide. you could ask me that question and I would choose my family. You could tell me to choose between air and my family, i would give up the right to breath for my family, as I am sure you would too.
What the heck happened to a man who would sacrifice his life? Why can our guys not sacrifice staring at butts in mini skirts at the club for the happiness of their families? its insane.
Good luck, girl. I know it sucks. I am there.
2006-10-26 19:38:26 · answer #1 · answered by proud mommy and wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with I"I thought we could go out tonight, I can get a sitter"
He should be willing to limit his time out with the guys to an
agreeable occurrence like maybe two to three times a month. This agreement should include time out for the both of you. How is it that he can afford to kick it with the boys all the time but you can't afford a sitter for an occasional night out together?
Yea he is taking advantage and will continue as long you let him.
2006-10-26 19:15:38 · answer #2 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him and tell him how it makes you feel while he is away. Do you both have a date night together? Sounds like you're doing separate activities and getting resentful of each other. Find a babysitter so the two of you can go out together and enjoy each other again as a couple....
recently my husband of 9 years started doing this and we have four children under the age of 4 and I found out it was because he was having an affair with a coworker. He took me for granted because of the kids and knew I couldn't leave the house in the evening when the kids were in bed. He was free to do whatever after work. When I would question him being out late after work, he would become angry and say I was nag/*itch for not letting him go out with the guys for a beer to unwind after work. Just giving you my story.
2006-10-26 19:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by almostover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to get to grips with your hubby and sort things out
Perhaps you could suggest at first that the two of you go out for a evening - he may take this on as a good idea and then you could get a sitter who hopefully your hubby will pay for as he is going out with you, then you could progress overtime and see what happens
The only other option is to lay it on the line and tell him what a rotten pig he is being and tell him that you have got a life too beyond the kids and home
2006-10-26 19:09:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u need to do what i do, tell him when he goes out, that youll be going out the next day and youll be staying gone for the same amount of hours that he did. and he will be keeping the kids, no one else will be babysitting for him since u keep the kids when hes gone out. play the same game back and he'll want to get u to stay home so that means he'll need to stay home. its only fair , u didnt make the kids on ur own so hes gonna learn to start watching the kids or he can hit the road jack.
2006-10-26 19:14:49 · answer #5 · answered by nicky l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably a good girl. WHEN, not IF, you betray your marriage vows, please do it with someone that isn't involved in your daily lives. Do it with someone who doesn't live in the same 20 mile radius. OK. Do your cheating further away from the home.
This is my advice to women who want to cheat, and will end up getting caught, and still yet want their husband to retain ANY sense of self, but who still just have to spread their legs to feel "wanted."
In short, if you just need to feel like a woman and your husband isn't around and you just can't help yourself because YOU NEED TO FEEL WANTED then PLEASE screw and suck someone who your husband doesn't have to look at for the rest of his life with you.
2006-10-26 20:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i would get out of that situation. You are not the only one who has been thru this. Sorry that it is happening, you have three kids you don't need a fourth.
2006-10-26 19:22:19 · answer #7 · answered by ktpt 4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to have the same problem. your man is probably not cheating but he is just inconsiderate. unffortunately it took for me to go away for 8 months,(jail), leaving my man with all 3 kids and all responsibilities. he realized how much he was missing, and although he was there for us he wasnt giving his all. so how about leaving for a few days. ask him how come you have to ask him to keep the kids but he jut gets to get up and go and never invites you.
2006-10-26 19:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by pamela m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't waste time,
either kick him out
or leave.
I hope you have relatives or friends you can live with for a while.
your husband won't respect you until he notices your absence.
you probably have to take the kids because he just doesn't seem to care.
2006-10-26 19:25:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt stand for that treatment............why does a married man feel the need to go out with mates every weekend?
You need to talk to him and tell him thats this is not acceptable.
2006-10-26 19:08:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋