I have been with my husband for 5 years now - married 1 1/2 years. I have felt since our second month of marriage that I made a mistake of marrying him. Before we got married I broke up with him for 3 months until I couldnt take his crying any more - felt very bad - and got back with him and married in less than a month. Now I really want to leave him. But am conflicted due to his response before about how he will be if I divorce him. No I have not met anyone else and he has no kids I have three and recently he wanted me to pick him over my oldest daughter. What should I do?
2006-10-26 17:06:12 · 18 answers · asked by Daes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is what I want to do. But I tried to talk to him about it and he told me he would kill me if I left. Now I am worried of course.
2006-10-26 17:14:41 · update #1
Thank you for all the answers. Yes he is a good guy - but I am not in love with him. And since the response I got from him about breaking up - I dont know anymore. I think I may try counseling with him to ease the blow of breaking up.
2006-10-26 17:18:42 · update #2
Thank you all for your answers. To let you know I will pick my children over him and I am planning my escape. I do want to say thank to all who have answered my question. Means alot to me.
2006-10-26 17:39:33 · update #3
i've read all the answers and agreed with almost all of them.
you can't find love and happiness if you married someone out of pity. experienced it myself, it lasted for 15months only. worst still i've got a child who was 5months old that time. i took courage to end it then. it was the most difficult time of my life but i was glad to have made that decision then.
now, i'm happily married(again) for more 5 years. my first child is still with me, along with 2 other kids from my second marriage. good thing for me, my current hubby is a nice and understanding guy.
i believe everything happens for a reason. take my advice, follow your heart. your kids are more important than anyone else. you can always get a new partner, but you can never replace your own kids...
take care, and have faith!
2006-10-27 21:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by Jules Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is wanting you to pick him over your child, the problem is... he is too much like a child himself, he's jealous..even of your children, this isnt good because if you do choose him over them, this will cause a bitter relationship between you and them. no one can really say if you should leave your husband because marriage isnt to be taken lightly. if he is abusive...yes, you should leave...if he's cheating.. yes, you should leave.. if he is a self destructive person...yes, you should leave because if they are destructive they will ultimately become destructive to those around them. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE MISERABLE...you must take the steps needed for your own happiness...but remember...if there is room in your marriage for repair,try it
2006-10-27 00:17:32 · answer #2 · answered by huneygrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
apparently this man isnt a nice guy..#1 he told u he would kill u if u left.. thats a death threat and very unstable even if u dont think he would carry it out it should of never came out his mouth let alone thought it.. u need to let the authorities know what if he did carry it out or like u said wanted u to chose between him and ur daughter.. urdaughter is blood and its ur job to protect her let them know and leave before its to late....listen to someone who was in a abusive relationship...been there done that!
2006-10-27 00:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by wildspirit1313 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him....anyone who says you must pick them over your own child, is a loser. He sounds emotionally unstable and you should leave now. You can't shelter him from his own emotions...that's for him to deal with. Make a clean break. Don't take calls from him. Don't communicate. Don't get sucked back in.
2006-10-27 00:13:31 · answer #4 · answered by chnchita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly...He sounds absoultely selfish. No spouse if they care for their partner is going to make that person pit their biological child (or any child for that matter) and their significant other. I think that when in doubt go for it and leave. It sounds to me like he is using emotional garbage to make you stay. First off if he threatens suicide or harming himself that is his choice and not yours. Don't let the creep try to keep you in a situation where you feel you have to stay.
2006-10-27 00:17:44 · answer #5 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you say he's a good guy? HE THREATENED TO KILL YOU. Contact a women's shelter and formulate a plan to get the heck out. You have children to protect. Good luck.
2006-10-27 02:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short life, go with the Gut, Kids come first!
2006-10-27 00:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by nfgatcer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave but that is my opinion. Sounds to me like you married him out of pity. That's not fair to you and you shouldn't let him make your life miserable.
2006-10-27 00:08:58 · answer #8 · answered by Alessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the children need to come first in this matter sounds like yu are married to a nut in my opion ?
2006-10-27 00:14:54 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men can always come and go but your children are for life. They need you more than he does.
2006-10-27 01:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by globalsoule 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋