i am 18, married and 2 months pregnant,my husband has 2 kids with his ex, both are less than 6 years old.well i was never too thrilled that he has kids,but what can i do i love him.well the thing is that sometimes his friends make dumb comments like " wow, you have sex too much, stop making babies". when its just his first baby with me, it makes me feel sad and at the same time mad.is that wrong? is it wrong to hate my husband for having other kids?
2006-10-26 17:05:07 · 16 answers · asked by sweetpinkness2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't say you hate your husband for having other kids.. obviously you Love your husband or he wouln't be your husband.
I can relate though,, my husband had 3 kids when I married him.
We now have 2 children together. I was jeleous that he had kids with someone else but I didn't hate him for it... The hardest part was when we had our first child together because it was my first child and I was so unbelievably happy and excited. I felt sorta jipped because he had done this before and so it wasnt' new to him like it was for me.... You wil get over it though and it eventually won't even be a thought.....It is just a jelousy thing. You are only human and that is perfectly normal...congrats on becoming a mommy and good luck.
2006-10-26 17:12:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is something you are going to have to come to terms with. You have married him. You knew he had children before hand. His friends comments are I'm sure not directed to hurt your feelings. You had better learn to incorporate his children into your life as a part of your family. They aren't going anywhere..and they don't deserve to be treated differently or thought of as some sort of reflection on you or your new addition.
The better question for you...Is your husband happy about you having a baby. Is your husband supportive of your needs?
These are the things you should consider before "hating" him.
Are you happy about having a baby? Are you content in your relationship with your husband outside of his "friends" comments?
You made this choice. You now have the choice to make it a good life for you or not.
I know its hard that you weren't always the only woman in his life. But you are now. So be happy about that. And don't ruin it with insecurity that probably isn't warranted. Enjoy your pregnancy. And learn to enjoy his children as well. It doesn't have to be hard...unless you make it that way. Also remember....The child you will give birth to will be a sibling to the other two. If you are having a really hard time with it. Go to a counselor or therapist to get a better perspective on your feelings and how to deal with them. Congratulations on your first baby!
2006-10-27 00:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you say you love him -- you have to love EVERYTHING about him. I'm 23 with a 5 yr/old son and my hubby is 31 with 2 kids a 10 yr/old boy and a 5 yr/old girl. It is gonna be hard at times but if the love is there, there will be no problem. If you start to show feelings of you being mad or just upset, then it may cause problems in the relationship years to come.
2006-10-27 00:14:39 · answer #3 · answered by bebegurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense,but you sound selfish.He was in love before obviously,and you are jealous.Yes it is natural to feel a bit jealous,but not to this extent!I was married before my current wife,and had kids with my first wife,but she is not the least bit jealous.She simply takes an interest in their lives as well.Try it,you might like it!As for the friends making lude comments about you.......Ignore it,as you are a mommy to be,and that is something to really be proud of! I wish you the best of luck!
2006-10-27 00:10:33 · answer #4 · answered by gibbyguys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a pretty immature attitude to have. You can really damage his older children by harboring that kind of resentment. I suggest you get some counselling for the sake of the whole family. I'm sure you don't want to be so negative. I hope it's just the pregnancy hormones talking.
2006-10-27 00:13:23 · answer #5 · answered by sexmagnet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, someone just asked that same question.
You shouldve considered yourself lucky if you found someone who loves a self-centered person for such thoughts. Probably the prego hormones, but still, its sad that you cant find love for two innocents who could love you unconditionally if you werent so wrapped up in your unrealistic ideals. He has kids, you knew that going into the marriage and gee I hope he was bright enough to select someone who would be a great step mom to his babies!!!
Too late to feel sad or mad. Yep, too late for that. Good luck and try to find it in your heart to open it up to your man's children or you'll have tough luck the entire marriage. Peace.
2006-10-27 00:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course it is not wrong to be upset about the other kids, but what about it makes you mad? You need to tell your friends to piss off on the comments. Don't let your friends upset you. Also you need to figure out why you are upset about the other kids? Is is that your husband might still talk to his ex? or is it that the kids talk about her?
2006-10-27 00:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by shetaz5360 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know that he already have 2 kids before you married him,so why hate him now???Don't bother about the dumb comment from his friends,as long you don't get mad at their comments , soon they will keep their mouth shut!!
2006-10-27 00:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by eZY jOHn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope :) its not wrong at all! maybe your just a little jelous (but i would be too)
this is from experience: my boyfriends dad had kids with his first wife and now his new wife will NOT let my boyfriend or my boyfriends dad see the kids because their not hers. and shes like jelous or something. so please dont do that because thats not nice.
you should try to bond with your husbands kids. because you should love them!! they came from your husband!! :) and if ur husband is with u, he apparently doesnt l ike his ex wife anymore :) :) :). and dont listen to those jerks. people are just mean, and sarcastic and joke too much!! :)
by the way. i dont have kids. i just wanted to help!sorry if i didnt!~
:)
2006-10-27 00:12:37 · answer #9 · answered by MyEyeZHypnoTiZe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey dont worry some people are heartless with their answers. I'm sure this is a normal feeling your pregnant for one and hormones are out of wack and this is your first baby i would expect for everyone to say congrats! talk to your man about it not mean people on the Internet.
2006-10-27 00:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by Kari 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋