Literally since the day we met we have been together except for brief periods of time like holiays when I went to my mom's house and my family went on a cruise together. It really hurts my feelings when he says these things, because I hate that he doen't believe me. Last week I had to go to a job interview 4 hours aways, so after the interview I stopped at a rest area to take a quick nap for 1/2 an hour and drained the battery on my car. I was asking people to jump start my car and one guy asked me for my phone number. I told him I was engaged and didn't want his number. After I got home, I screwed up and told my fiance about it, thinking it was funny, now he swears I had sex with that guy at the rest area! I hate that he thinks that of me and he is always asking if I really love him or if I am just pretending. How can I get him to stop asking this, it hurts my feelings and makes me really mad at him!
2006-10-26 16:17:57 · 29 answers · asked by hargonagain 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey girl...honestly, i would reevaluate your engagement...i know i dont know you but from what i read...it sounds like once you are married...things will only get worse. and, if he is accusing you (and has been) since day one, I'm surprised you've lasted this long. it sounds like he has some self-conscious issues and there is no way you will ever get him to solve this problem. i think you need to take a hot bath or do whatever it is you need to do and think about your life with him once you are married. perhaps you need a break from him? honestly, relationships are never this hard and you deserve someone that loves, cares and trusts you completely. this guy sounds like he has many guilty thoughts and perhaps insecurities. best of luck to you, whatever you may do.
2006-10-26 16:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you decide to do, do it now. The longer you wait to address this, the worse it will become. You need to let him know that you are not comfortable with him assuming that you're a whore, a cheat or a liar. He needs to know that in no-way will you tolerate that treatment from anyone, especially him... he supposed to be your protector, significant other, friend and helper. You need to also express concern over his apparent willingness to stay with someone that he continually accuses of being this type of person. Let him know, you know that you're right, but he has a problem that has to be corrected before you will consider moving forward. Good luck, but don't be a pushover...don't be a complete b*tch, but expect more now or you will always get less from this person. Remember, you don't want to be one of these people who are having serious issues later in life because you didn't do more to define your expectations earlier in life. Hell, just read a few of these problems people are having. That should be enough to make anyone make the right choices, at least make a person do all they can to make the right choices.
2006-10-26 16:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few reasons as to why this could be happening 1) maybe an ex girlfriend cheated on him 2) he's the cheater 3) he is just insecure 4) he just doesn't trust you at all. Do you ever ask him why he does that? Have you given him any reason to think that way?
2006-10-26 16:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by softpack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't change once you're married. . .in fact, it will get worse. Either he needs to become more secure and trusting, or you need to decide if you can live with this.
My ex was the same way - he even accused a professor of flirting with me and having a thing for me. I was embarrassed to death! He yelled at a church friend as well because the guy said hello to me, and held a door for me because my hands were full. The man would hardly speak to me for months.
This will not go away on its own - have you gone to any kind of counseling together?
2006-10-26 16:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by BasketChick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has low self-esteem. And he may be doing the very thing he accuses you of doing. Talk him into getting help. You can't fix him, even if you spend 24/7 with him and give him everything he wants, he will keep wanting more.
Also, this could be the beginning of an abusive cycle. Depends on how long you've been together. . .
2006-10-27 00:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't wise to continue on with the engagement. If it is bad now, it will be ten times worse when you marry. Also, if you know he reacts to situations like you were in when your car broke down, why in the heck would you tell him about it? Sounds to me as if you egg it on more than a little bit. You don't want him to be jealous, yet you give fuel to the fire by telling him about someone wanting your number?? Both of you are too immature and insecure to be married.
2006-10-26 16:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him stop, you can never reasure him enough, you will live the rest of your life (if you choose to stay with him) having the same fight. They say that when someone acts the way your fiance acts, they have a guilty heart. My advise to you would be to call off the engagement. If you are living together move out. If he wants to make it work with you, you have to show him that you are seriously not going to live that way. Stick to your guns and don't take him back, trust me I know, it will NEVER end. Good luck to you
2006-10-26 16:24:38 · answer #7 · answered by pinkhopper2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your going to get married, find a good church and get pre-marriage counceling. He has SERIOUS trust issues. Also sounds like he may be guilty of something, possibly he might be running around on you. Not sure. But you need to sit down and talk with him about it. But if when you talk with him about it and he starts getting angry and upset, find someone to sit down with you as a mediator. Like a councelor. It makes it harder I think for each other to fight, because most people don't want people to see them fighting.
But I would deffinatly tell him that until he gets over this trust issue, I'd tell him the wedding will wait.
Hope that this helps. Take care and God Bless
2006-10-26 16:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are one of 2 problems and youi cannot slove either.1. He is really insecire and only he can fix that or 2. he is the one cheating,9 out of 10 ppl that are always accusing their spouses of cheating are cheating themselves.They accuse their spouses out of guilt.I am not saying thats the case but it is one or the other.The best thing you can do is tak to him about it and maybe seek counseling together.If this is the man you plan on spending the rest of your life with,then find out which of theses is the problem.
2006-10-26 16:22:36 · answer #9 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever given him reason not to trust you in the past? Usually, guys that have been cheated on in the past tend not to trust the girl they are currently with and look for every little thing to find you guilty. If you have never given him reason then he should trust you. Everyone should be given the chance until they screw up. The flipside which I tend not to believe is that he is cheating on you. This tends not to be true and the reality is that he has low self esteem or his history with girlfriends in the past. If you have never given him a reason then he needs to get over it otherwise plan on him being this way forever.
2006-10-26 16:25:18 · answer #10 · answered by Jayn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋