fearful her father is going to try and get custody and he has wanted nothing to do with her until recently when his parents found out about her, my parents want me to grant them shared custody so that he can't but I feel they want me to give away my rights, yet I have been providing and am able to care for my daughter
2006-10-26 16:16:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to consult an attorney to get the best advice. Laws are different in different states. Sometimes you can get a 30 minute consultation for 20 or 30 bucks. If so, write down all the questions you have and take them with you when you go. Let the attorney know everything so he can give you good informed advice.
2006-10-26 16:20:02 · answer #1 · answered by Curious George 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you fear he's going to get custody? Why don't you ask him what is he trying to accomplish? Obviously you must be having a child at a young age, but you don't need to give your parents custody of your child. But you technically aren't "giving" him any rights, they're a given because if he gets a dna test that is physical proof he's the father and he can go from there. But in actuality, it's difficult for the father to get custody of the child, because the courts usually lean on the mother to get custody. And it's not up to your parents, because even if you do that for your parents, he can still take you to court and you will still be at square 1 battling it out! And the courts will look at the fact that he's done nothing for the baby, but still, you can't deny him all the way. If by some way he wants to be in the child's life you're gonna have to eventually let him do that. And in the mean time, file for child support. Maybe he might have a change of heart because if he doesn't have a job his parent will have to foot the bill and you know they ain't gonna let him just lounge around the house without making that up. If you were grown enough to make the child, then assume full responsibility for everything, even the court proceedings. But you need to talk to the baby's father and see what the hell is going on and go from there. If you don't want him to get custody get a lawyer and handle your business. Call Social Services and get some info on how to go about it. Good luck.
2006-10-26 16:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shared custody to 'his' parents or yours cuz it's not clear in the details. I personally wouldnt do either no way, no how. My kids, my rules, all that. If you are protective of your daughter, also be the mama bear to yourself and dont let others walk all over you. Grandparents visit under your supervision and instruction. :)
The father has every right to shared visitation but make sure if he is a 'problematic' father, that you keep 100% legal custody, and only allow him a percentage of visitation. If he proves responsible after a certain amount of time, he may ask for shared custody. Custody is legal control over the child. Why would you want anyone to have legal control over your child other than you or the father? Good luck.
2006-10-26 16:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I do not think that you should allow your parents to have shared custody. Like you said, you have been providing and caring for your daughter yourself. The father would have to try and prove that you were unfit as a mother to get custody of your child. Trust me, I have 4 children from a previous marriage, and he fought me for custody, for a long time. He was never able to prove me unfit (although, he tried very, very hard) and the only reason he wanted custody of them was so that he didn't have to pay child support. His plan was to get custody, and then let his parents care for them. I was supporting my children on my own..and had always been the provider for my children, I don't drink...do drugs..or anything..and have always took good care of my children..and the last thing I was going to let happen..was for someone to come and take them away from me..it ended up costing me a lot of money and a good attorney, but in the end..I would do it all over again..to keep my kids at home and safe with me..where they belong. If you were never married to this guy..it would be even harder for him to try and get custody, not to mention, even if he did try, the judge would more than likely rule in your favor, considering he has yet to do anything to help you care for your daughter. I know what it's like to worry about someone trying to take your child from you..but as long as you continue being a good mother to your child..and stay away from trouble..or anything that he could use against you..to prove you unfit..you have nothing to worry about. Good luck.
2006-10-26 16:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by me_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The father has the first right before your parents for custody. A court will not allow your parents to take partial custody if your child has a father that also wants custody. Good Luck
2006-10-26 16:20:18 · answer #5 · answered by bonbon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know all of the laws, but I really don't think shared custody with your parents is going to be a deterrent to the childs father. IF he decides to sue for joint custody or whatever, the courts can give him rights even if your parents have shared custody. He would probably have more rights than they would.
2006-10-26 16:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by Hallon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't give custody to anyone else. Your parents hearts are in the right place, but you are the one responsible for your daughter, not them. You say you are taking care of her now with no problems, and that is the important thing. If they are worried about what will happen should something happen to you, it is easy enough to solve with a simple will stating where your daughter is to go should something happen to you.
Is there a reason for you to be concerned about your ex wanting to see your daughter? If not, then allow him and his parents to be a part of her life. Better late than never when it comes to such issues, as long as you are sure she will be well cared for when she goes to visit them. I think it is commendable that the other grandparents want to be a part of her life. Your daughter will appreciate it later.
2006-10-26 16:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not allow shared custoy of your daughter with your parents. If her father wants to come after you for joint custody, having joint with your parents woul not be favorable in court it would say that you have issues and need your parents help. His track recor of how much contact he has had with your daughter will speak for itself in court when an if he takes you to court for joint custody. It is time to stand on your own 2 feet.
2006-10-26 16:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by kibbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,if your going to give up any part of custody,give it to the father.No matter what he has or hasn't done he still has rights.Don't just think about yourself in this matter,think about him AND your child.She has the right to know her father whether you like him or not.How can you expect him to do what's right for her if he can't even share custody?
2006-10-26 16:26:24 · answer #9 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET SOLE CUSTODY, THAT WAY IT IS UP TO YOU WHEN AND WHERE THEY SEE HER. YOU HAVE BEEN RAISING HER FROM BIRTH, YOU WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE LETTING HER GO, UNLESS YOU WOULD., THEN GO AHEAD BUT I SEE NO REASON WHY THE GRANDPARENTS SHOULD HAVE ANY TYPE OF CUSTODY!! SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER, KEEP YOUR RIGHTS, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS UP TO YOU AND NOT THE COURTS. I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING AND I GOT SOLE CUSTODY, NOW THE FATHER ISNT IN HIS LIFE AT ALL. IT ONLY MAKES SENSE FOR ME TO HAVE SOLE CUSTODY!! I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO HAVE IT MY WAY, THANK GOD THE COURTS AGREED WITH ME. JUST REMEMBER, SHE IS YOURS BEFORE SHE IS ANYONE ELSES. YOU SHOULD BE THE ONLY ONE MAKING DECISIONS FOR HER. GOOD LUCK. AND GO WITH YOUR HEART. YOUR HEART NEVER LIES!!
2006-10-26 16:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by jaylove209 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋