My boyfriend (19) and I (15) recently discovered I'm pregnant. Is this even legal because the age to have sex is 17? Is there any way we can be together legally? Responses greatly appreciated.
2006-10-26 16:02:11 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Your in a real pickle. The first thing you have to do is tell your parents. You're only fifteen! You have a to start considering all your options.
First, do you want to raise this child? If you do not think that you can give this child 100% of your attention to fill its needs you seriously need to consider adoption. If you have the support and the desire to raise this child then I would start planning for the future.
Second, does the father want to be involved? If he does and you want to keep the baby you had better seek some legal advise before he goes to jail. Marriage isn't necessary. I have a friend that was 17 when he knocked his girlfriend that was 15, they didn't get married until last year and two more kids later. They are 23 and 21 now. If he doesn't want to be involved the better thing to do would be keep him out of jail so he can start paying child support.
Third, or even before first. You need to get medical help. If you don't take care of the medical needs of yourself and the baby bad things could happen. Its not easy on your body to be pregnant while you are still growing yourself. Don't jeopardize your health or your baby's.
Good luck, there are many programs out there to help you and your family with guidance and support. Don't try to do this on your own.
2006-10-26 18:03:48 · answer #1 · answered by me_laub 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A father of daughters talkin here. If you were my daughter, I'd be infuriated... would still love you, but would be absolutely furious.
You don't say where you live. In most states in the USA, your boyfriend can be arrested and charged with RAPE. As a father, I don't think this is harsh, because my first instinct is to shoot his butt as he runs away begging for his life. But, that's just me. Your parents may, or may not, have the ability stop him from being charged if the police get involved.
How do you want to "Be together"? You can't legally marry the guy. In fact, it will still be illegal for the two of you to have sex until you're either married or you're 17. Do you expect to go back to holding hands for another 2 years, while you're nursing Junior?
As bad as this sounds, it gets worse. I met my wife when I was 16 and she was 15 (dating or married ever since) so it is possible that you've met "the one". However, 99% of the time you will not be able to keep the marriage together in the best of conditions. Add in poverty (he have a good job to support you two?) and a baby and you've got a slam-dunk recipe for a breakup.
As a parent, I have to wonder why your parents set you up for this. A 19 year old boy and a 15 year old girl will end in a pregnancy, and a massive heart break for the 15 year old.
2006-10-26 23:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by geek49203 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of guys like him sitting in jail for 7 years! Some states have 14 and under laws and some states are 16 and under. You may get a lot more help from him if he is not in jail so be care ful about telling them who dad is until you know they can handle it. But dear girl you are in troubble because you really need to go to the doctor for the next 9 months to make sure that you and the baby are healthy. If I were you I would go to a planned parent orginazition because they KNOW your state laws on this subject. It is possible to have this child. I know people who were in your situation and still finnished school and even still married!!! But it takes determination. And work for both you and dad. Please, do not worry so much - take one day at a time ny the way, I dont know any state that 17 is the legal age of consent. someone is pulling your leg on that one.
2006-10-26 23:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by Big V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, congratulations on your pregnancy. While I believe it was unintentional and it would have been wiser to wait to even risk a pregnancy, you have your child growing inside of you. As confusing and perhaps heartbreaking as the next months may be, you are now a mom and new life should be celebrated. Take a moment to feel that, too. Find an online pregnancy calendar with pictures so you can take a moment each day and see what your child is doing.
Second, no, it is almost definitely not legal. You do need to talk to your parents, though, and if they don't choose to press charges, most likely no one else will. Is there a guidance counselor you trust at school? If so, talk with her and see if she can help you figure out the best way to broach the topic with your parents.
Then, turn your attention to what you need to do to build a good life for yourself and your child. Start taking prenatal vitamins, talk with someone who knows about your health insurance that you get through school, and do some research on finding a good obstetrician. Find a support group and maybe some good online resources. Mothering Magazine has wonderful discussion boards by very knowledgeable parents and parents to be. Yes, they are mostly adult parents, but this means they have had more time to do research, and, as a whole, they are a nonjudgemental group. You can find information there on everything from good prenatal nutrition to baby care techniques to adoption options. Yes, I am assuming you are going to keep the pregnancy, but your quesiton didn't seem to hint at anything else. www.mothering.com/discussions
You are going to want to find a way to stay in school to build a good future. This will certainly be a challenge, but it is important. You need to find out what social services are available to you, and you need to see how much your parents are willing and able to help. You also need to see how much the father is willing and able to help, but, please, have a plan in place in case he disappears. He is also very young, and I have personally known women who were promised marriage and devotion when pregnant only to be abandoned overnight. Hopefully, this man is going to be a good father, but be prepared either way and remember that if he leaves, it isn't a reflection on you.
You are certainly facing the challenge of your life. You are going to need to plan and prepare, and always keep your priorities in mind. Good luck.
2006-10-27 06:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by kittymom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what state you live in. For example here in Pa< as, as you are at least 13 years old, it is ok to have sex with some up to 4 years older than you. Go to google and type in the question what is the age of consent in (Add your state) and it should bring up the law in your state. You are a little young to have a baby but I wish you the best.
2006-10-28 23:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this not legal at all in anyway I'm sorry. Try telling your family. Hopefully, although i'm sure they'll be upset, they won't press charges. I suppose you could get married but that'd still have to have parental consent since your 15. In most states 16 and up can get married with parent signature. Good Luck!
2006-10-26 23:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by Bast 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will depend on your parents. If they do not press charges for rape, then you should be ok. There are some states that allow marriage very young as long as parents give permission. If your parents are supportive, you should be fine. You do not have to put the father's name on the birth certificate if you are worried about him getting in trouble. However, if you do not put his name down as the father, it will be hard to fix later. First step should be to talk with your parents and if you want this baby, let them know that. Good luck.
2006-10-26 23:06:04 · answer #7 · answered by Army Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need permission from your parents. I'm not sure, but I think that the law could step in if they see fit. After all, he is an adult. See if you can become emancipated. Then you will be considered an adult. You are in a tough spot, not to mention the baby. Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out.
2006-10-26 23:09:42 · answer #8 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um most likely if you two are going to be together, your parents have to give legal permission. However, they can file statutory rape charges against him and depending on what state you are in, if they choose not to the state can go ahead and charge him as well.
2006-10-26 23:05:21 · answer #9 · answered by cawfeebeanz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents can press charges against him if they wish (in most states) & no the only way for the 2 of you to be together is if your parents accept the situation & let him move in for the babys sake.
2006-10-26 23:05:13 · answer #10 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋