i lost my daughter six months ago and i'm pregnant again. my daughter had a very rare condition. the odds of having a child with it are 1:20,000. when people find out i'm pregnant again i never hear congrats i hear "i sure hope this baby doesn't die too!" is it just me or is that insensitive?
2006-10-26 14:57:17 · 28 answers · asked by colees 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
it has been said by my step sister. it is EVERYTIME i see her. she will talk about it extremely loud in the middle of a store or the mall or wherever we are. i think she does it to be an idiot but it could just be me.
2006-10-26 15:07:05 · update #1
to mean spirited,
the fact that you would even say something so rude and disrespectful ahows what kind of a person you are. i just went through the most horrifying experience of carrying my daughter for 9 months and having her die after 7 hours! you are not human. if you are going to be so ignorant maybe you should not make comments to people. god forbid anything even remotely close to this ever happens to you!
2006-10-26 15:14:15 · update #2
im so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby. i couldnt even imagine what you went thru. god bless your family.
i know what you are talking about when you say people make stupid comments.....im not sure why they do it. i heard alot of cruel/mean comments when i was pregnant last year. the babys father has MS......and i got so sick of comments from my family and friends about how my baby will probably be born with MS or die before i have her, or they made comments about how could i be so cruel have a baby with a guy who has MS and risk the baby having MS.
just let the comments go in one ear and out the other. and congratulations to you!
AND TO MEAN SPIRITED....you are horrible! that was so mean of you to write!
2006-10-26 15:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by kat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know some people just dont know when to keep their mouth closed and keep the comments to themselves. I sometimes wonder if they where in the same sitution if they would like the things said to them. And of course the answer would be no they would not like the comments either. Some people dont care at all to hurt someone feelings, they think that it is very funny when in reality it hurts so bad. But anyhow, I hope that this pregnancy goes well and that you have a healthy and beautiful baby. And I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I am a mother myself and if I loss my baby I know that it would be hard to go through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this time of need. Congrats on the new baby and Good Luck!!!
2006-10-26 15:47:15 · answer #2 · answered by krisn_us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry, both for your loss, and for the rude comments.
I know it's not the same as losing a baby you actually held in your arms, but I miscarried my first pregnancy last year, and got pregnant the very next month. People just don't understand how frighteningly worrisome it is to be pregnant again after a loss. You need healthy support and encouragement, not negativity!
You need to flat out tell such rude people "That's a terrible thing to say!" Then explain to them that it's bad enough that your own heart and mind keeps throwing up doubts and "what ifs," and you could use some congratulatory good wishes instead of such awful doom and gloom predictions. Don't worry about making them feel bad - they SHOULD feel bad for saying such things! And I bet that if you just call them on it, they'll change their tune in a heartbeat!
Now that my rant is over, congratulations to you on your pregnancy! Take it one step at a time and enjoy every minute of it! I found it helpful to break it down into small milestones - first sonogram, first movement felt, start of 2nd trimester, baby shower, etc. That way, I had plenty of small celebrations to look forward to, instead of a long 9 months of worry.
You and your baby are going to be just fine. Congratulations again!
2006-10-26 15:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by LadyJag 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are stupid. That's all I can really say. I don't think they mean to be insensative or hurtful. They just plain don't have a brain somethimes. Why would they say that? There's no real explanation for it other than they had a lapse of judgement or something.
I would have already "gone off" on these people. That's what I usually do when people say dumb things to me.
Sorry you have to go through all this. Sorry about your daughter. Congrats on your one on the way!
2006-10-26 15:07:24 · answer #4 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm very sorry to hear about your loss. congratulations on and best wishes for your pregnancy!
as to people saying they hope this baby doesn't die, too, it's hard to imagine people saying this! BUT, this is the thought on everyone's mind and those folks many not know the facts you've shared about the rare condition. that's likely what they make stupid comments. oh, that, and no one told them to exercise impulse control.
i once read in Ann Landers that when someone says something outrageous to you, just stare at them or say, 'whyever would you say that?' A man did it to me when I brought up his time under arrest as a spy - just stared at me. I'll never forget what I learned that day - that just because something is of interest to you doesn't mean another person is willing, able, or ready to talk about it.
when my friend gave birth to a child with down syndrome, i was the only friend, she said, who brought gifts, balloons, food. everyone else called to say how sorry they were. sheesh.
2006-10-26 15:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah the "you are saying Miley Cyrus, I say.." feedback are type of immature and demanding. Although I quite do not brain the ones different ones considering the fact that they are truthfully conducting anything. Those feedback, from the "steel armed forces" have all banded in combination to made it in order that Justin Bieber's Baby video has extra thumbs down than up on September first. It could no longer be a lot, however it is anything, some thing to check out and shop tune from it is autotuned, cash pushed downfall.
2016-09-01 03:16:16 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your pregnant so of course you are sensitive. Do they really say that? Thats too bad if they do. But could it be that is all that you are hearing in your imagination? Peoples reactions however, when someone becomes pregnant so fast again after something like that are never going to be 100% good. It comes as a shock to them so thier first reaction is not going to be "yeayyyy how wonderful!"
I have a friend who got pregnant recently....she has three other kids who live a thousand miles away and she never goes to see them....then she is gettin knocked up again. I not saying your situation is anything like this....but when she told me the news I was like "ohhh....really? ugh...wow..ok" And I did not mean to react like that at all. Cheer up and good luck, Im sure things are going to be okay.
2006-10-26 15:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by J. P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart hurts for you. If you can stay away from this unthoughtful, heartless person. You do not need to be around anyone with such negative feelings. Work on being positive and think only loving, pleasant thoughts about both babies. Your first baby was with you only a short time but nevertheless she is loved and missed. Maybe you can talk to your unborn baby and tell her/he about his/her older sibling. This may help you to cope with your loss and your unborn baby loves to hear your voice. They can and do recognize your voice and scent. One thing I know from personal experience is that those left behind do not want their deceased family member to be forgotten. This will probably extra difficult for your family and friends since they never got to know the baby. But you knew the baby very well and carried it and loved it for nine long months. You will never forget that baby. May God give you the courage to cope.
2006-10-26 15:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by felinefanatic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't even begin to imagine whay *ANYONE* would even think of uttering those words to you. I don't feel that you are being overly sensitive at all. As for the baby you are carrying, just know that this baby is extremely healthy and incredibly smart. This baby is destined to be your child and can't wait to meet you! Your delivery will be incredibly smooth, and you will be *SO* in love! Congrats!
2006-10-26 15:21:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, now THAT is amazingly insensitive! I cannot even GUESS why people would say something like that. The closest I can even think is right after the shuttle blew up, and the next one in line had a perfect landing, I remember reading people saying "at least you got lucky THIS TIME!
Excuse me? Thanks, I think....
Sorry about your loss. No one can imagine how bad it is unless they experience it themselves. May your unborn child be of good health and long life.
Hope this helps!
2006-10-26 15:02:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋