My husband of almost 10 yrs. does this and doesn't see anything wrong with it. Obviously, he wasn't always like this towards me. I'm an educated person and know that this is not the way to treat others / be treated. He has started calling me names (idiot, etc). What to do?
2006-10-26 14:07:45 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I can tell u that it's not a very constructive way to communicate as it's disrespectful. It is bordering on verbal abuse and now he's also beginning to call u names too. If u don't set him straight on this, his attitude has the potential to go the wrong way real fast.
2006-10-26 14:19:23 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a matter of respect. He is being very dis-respectful of you, and your feelings. Ten years??!! He is the only one that knows why he is treating you this way; you need to ask that question.. I will assume you have a normal amount of self-esteem, are a good person, and feel you don't deserve to be treated this way.. If I am correct then the question really becomes "why would you let someone treat you so dis-respectfully?". Ten years is a long time and it would really suck to end a marriage however, it is o.k. to issue an ultimatum "knock it off or I'm gone".
- different tack; If you're educated and he is not, he may feel inadequate and be lashing out to "put you in your place?" or some other rediculous MACHO perspective he may have. Communication is the key to resolving this issue. Understand however that the resolution does not have to be positive.
2006-10-26 14:24:41 · answer #2 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he's playing, so if he acts up again, tell him you or he will have to leave until he can talk to you with the respect that you deserve. Be ready to have an alternative place (another girlfriend or family member) to go in case he doesn't leave. He needs to know that you are serious and will not be disrespected. The more you take, the more he may dish out. Before you come back or agree to go further, you should determine what caused this change in his behavior. Could be more than meets the eye, and you need to know if there is. Good luck, don't take no crap lady
2006-10-26 14:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once my husband and I were having a really bad fight. In the middle of it, he slammed his fist into the wall, swore at me and told me to shut the *** up!. I just turned around and left the apt for a couple hours without saying a word to him. The next day I very calmly told him if he ever acted or spoke like he did to me, I would be gone no questions asked. I let him know that even during a fight, I expect him to treat me with some semblence of respect and if couldn't then I would not tolerate it. He has never said or acted like that again.
You need to very calmly and rationally talk to your husband and explain why his treatment of you is unacceptable. Let him know how you expect to be treated.
2006-10-26 14:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your hubbie is testing his boundaries a little too much. You need to put your foot down while you still can. Sit down with him and make sure that he knows you don't appreciate the behavior that you described and that you aren't going to stand for it. If he refuses to change his tune, you might need to put a little fear into him by leaving for a little while.
2006-10-26 15:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by missapparition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling someone to shut up is one of the most demeaning things you can say to a person (adult or child). This treatment is a complete lack of respect.
2006-10-26 14:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by Quant 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie..
its very wrong for our man to shout at us or call us with some bad words..
if i'm in ur situation also i can't take it..coz we all r womans.
anyway..for not make the situation worst..y dun u sit and talk with him..maybe he having some internal problem or something bothering his mind..and that's y he showing off to u..
lets find out whats his problem..
explain to him that the way he treats u..make u very sad..talk to him nicely and make him understand..
every problem have a solution..
afterall they are OUR MAN..
all the best to u..
2006-10-26 14:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by CuTe GaL.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has lost respect for you. Children tell each other to shut up and resort to name calling because they don't have the capacity to have mature discussions. Adults don't do that unless they have maturity issues. Whatever you do, don't sink to that level.
2006-10-26 14:17:52 · answer #8 · answered by JillA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you're an educated person, you should know how to talk to your husband about the way he treats you, tell him that it bothers you when he calls you names, or to tell you to shut up.
2006-10-26 14:10:13 · answer #9 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he sounds like a *** no he should not talk to you like that NO way.. what is wrong with men We do Every hing for theme and they s### on us and the bad part is we put up with it.. is he stressed out at work? or does he have bipoler look in to a few things why he might do this.
2006-10-26 14:28:06 · answer #10 · answered by mouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋