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I posted some questions a couple days ago look back for whole storry but ehre is an update. I found out my wife is talking to another guy. I found out through her email account and in his emails in his emails it seems like he just wants to get in her pants. and feels she has no feelings for me anymore. Everything was fine a couple weeks ago then she told me she has lost interest she says they have not been intamate. I know this can happen in a long relationship and can happen off and on as I also have experienced it we have been together 8 years. She did this 2 years ago with another person and we worked through it and our relationship seemed stronger than ever. Is she trying to fill that lost interest with someone else? can we work through this again or should i just throw in the towel. She says she thinks we should go our separate ways but i feel she is making a huge mistake. We dont say we love you anymore or kiss or anything it has been 3 days.

2006-10-26 12:54:11 · 36 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

36 answers

Well.That sucks. Just throw in the towel. If youve tried to confront her about it, and she just doesnt seem to care anymore, let her go. Dont keep your heart in the relationship if hers isnt in it too. Youll end up more heart broken in the end. I know its hard, but just give it up. Try talking to her and see how she thinks. If communication just isnt working then nothing else will. If its ment to be, shell leave, realize what she left behind and learn her lesson. If not, then go find yourself someone else who will treat you right.

2006-10-26 12:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by myusedromance13 3 · 0 0

I think that you should just move on because if this was the first time that she cheated on you then you would want to forgive her because you would feel that this was a one time thing and that she would not do it again but this is the second time that she has done this to you. She may feel that you will forgive her because you forgave her before but you dont deserve to go through this kind of pain. I know how you feel this is something that you really never get over fully no matter how hard you want to. She is having the worst kind of affair an emotional one because as time passes her feelings for this man will grow stronger and may even turn into love because everytime the two of you have a disagreement she will run to him and she will compare everything that you do to the way that he treats her and at this point of course everything is great between them. You should just accept that this relationship is over and move on so that you can be happy. In the long run she will be the one witha ll the regrets because she will know that she throw away a good thing.

2006-10-26 13:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0 0

It's hard to let go of any marriage, regardless of the circumstances. That is, for good hearted people. Promises were made, history (for those with children or who are Aunts, Uncles, etc) changes and your ego is altered/damaged - you are no longer the same person for a while. Trust me, time will make things better. The simple truth is, it takes a piece poor person to be a cheater in marriage. That type of behavior, attitude and personality cannot be reasoned with. Unfortunately, they are unable to forgive or accept forgiveness. Find comfort in the fact that you are not the only person out there that has picked the wrong person for marriage, you're not the only one going through this. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps my friend and do not sell yourself short. This is not your fault. But now that you know who you're dealing with, it will become your fault for staying in a situation that you know will only get worse with time. You need to figure out how to reduce the impact to yourself financially before you screws you over again in the divorce...and trust me, you will get screwed. The law doesn't care who cheated....she still gets the house, child support and everything that she would have got if you were the one caught cheating. Feel free to email anytime and good luck moving forward

2006-10-26 13:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If she wants a seperation then give her one. Even if it is a mistake in her part. You cant make a relationship work if she doesnt want to. Youll end up hurting yourself and feeling miserable. But who knows, maybe a seperation is something you guys need, My husband and I seperated for almost a year. (No one cheated) but because we were at a point in our relationship that we didnt say that we loved each other no intimacy or passion. It got to where we hated each other. We seperated and now its been three years since we got back together and we are more inlove with each other than we have ever been. The seperation gave us the time to think about what we want. And it just made us realize that we couldnt be without each other. Even if it did take almost a year to realize it. It goes to show that no matter what, if you love each other enough it will work out somehow someway. If she loves you she will realize her mistake and hopefully it wont be to late for her. I hope every thing works out for the best for you.

2006-10-26 13:10:40 · answer #4 · answered by Baby boy blue 3 · 0 0

I am really sorry. I dont know your answer but I do know that I was that heartless wife about a year ago and my husband did not give up. We are happy and still going strong now. The only problem is i get depressed alot because of my guilt. I cant forgive myself for chancing my family like I did. Marriages a very hard thing to survive especially if you havent found yourself. Its confusing and frustrating. I will pray for you and I hope things work out well. And I hope she realizes what a mistake she is making soon.

2006-10-26 18:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by Kari 3 · 0 0

maybe its not such a bad idea going your separate ways...for now. give her a chance to miss you, and give yourself a chance to see if this is really what you want too. you cant show her a weak person because she will end up controlling the situation and you will lose and have a broken heart. if you you try and take a step back to let her see what brought you both together in the first place, then you can work with it. unfortunately, you may have to come to terms that this may be over and you will have to move on. trust,patience and compromise is a big factor in a relationship. don't look at this as throwing in the towel, look at it as a learning experience. good luck to you

2006-10-26 13:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by jessie 2 · 0 0

When candle burns dim it's time to fill it with wax, but in your case when the spouse is going to be submissive or even intentional infidelities, it's time to nip it in the bud and it can be painful at first, but you mend in time.
You shouldn't have to suffer emotionally when this happens in a marriage.
In some cases counseling helps, but not always effective if both are not willing to put 100% into it and make the relationship work.
When a Man can tolerate no more than it is time to let go so that you can love and cherish your spouse and the supreme being. A withered heart brings a bad soul.
A sweet heart attracts a llot of bees/

2006-10-26 13:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If a woman cheats at his man that is a sign of instability, she does it the second time and tells you that she has lost interest in you, that is your cue. When a women says it's over, it's over... cheating on you means there's definitely a void that you can not fill. 8 years is nothing to 18 or even 50 years if the spark is gone. Why waste time with someone who longer is happy with you. I think, it's time to grow up and move on.Let go and you may both find happiness somewhere along the way....

2006-10-26 13:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by Rochelle5969 2 · 0 0

Okay, the 3 days part isn't what concerns me. You getting into her email account shows your lack of trust in her and therefore, I think that you should call it quits on the relationship. I hate to say, once a cheater, always a cheater but it sounds like she is caught up in this game that she is playing with these other men and she knows that you will be there at the end of the day.

She sounds like one of those women that think that life is a TV show, life isn't a drama or a dress rehearsal. This is as real as it gets and I think you should move on.

Good luck!
-EZ

2006-10-26 13:05:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Been there twice with the same husband. You need to do what is best for you and any children that might be involved. It is so much easier if you hate her, but I sense that you don't, so don't make any big decisions immediately. Wait and see where this leads you, it is only time, she may come around. Perhaps in the mean time you should seek some professional guidance also.

2006-10-26 13:28:49 · answer #10 · answered by nothing anymore 1 · 0 0

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