Can't Orgasm?

Question

I can't orgasm with him. Not orally or through intercourse. What do I do? Is it because I'm tense, because sometimes I am. If so, how do I loosen up, mentally?

Answer 1

Maybe you need 2 hims or a him and a her.

Try phone sex, voyeurism or ect..... explore your inner self as to what pleases you. Maybe you need to learn how to please yourself and then teach him how to please you.

Booze will relax you, but makes things take longer, because your so relaxed. Booze wont work.

Answer 2

Try experimenting on your own to figure out what you like and what specifically makes you orgasm. Guide him to help you with this--with his fingers is best. If you don't know what feels best for you, it's really difficult to communicate that to your partner!

I'm assuming that you are a woman since this was posted in women's health. Just so you know, if he's not orally stimulating your clitoris, then chances are that you will not orgasm. A majority of women cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation, so for actual intercourse, it's up to you or him to stimulate your clitoris (I recommend you, because then you can control when you orgasm.)

Also, if you are tense I think it would be important to figure out why you're worried about having sex. Is it because you can't orgasm? If so, stop worrying! Not every woman (or man) has an orgasm every time they have sex or do something sexual--focus on what feels good, and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

You might also want to think about more foreplay, which would help you relax physically.

Oh, and don't listen to people who tell you to drink to loosen up. Relying on alcohol is not a good idea because you might forget to use protection--plus, you shouldn't have to use a drug to help you with your sex life.

Also, being too young is not a factor in orgasm, and anyone above the age of 12 is certainly capable of orgasm. Young children are in fact capable of orgasm--it's a physiological function, not necessarily something that develops once you hit puberty.

Answer 3

You don't say much about how much experience you have with orgasms in general, and how you have them. I had a BF that I thought I was really in love with, we lived together and almost married. I had a really hard time orgasming with him during sex. Strange thing was I had always orgasmed easily before, even with partners that I liked a lot less. Really don't know why. Turned out we really weren't right for each other, though, it just took a long time to figure it out.

Now that I think about it, it is possible that size was an issue. My best partners were larger. But maybe it wasn't, it could've been emotional. I really don't know. It's mysterious.

Answer 4

Have you tried more foreplay? When my husband and I were first intimate I couldn't orgasm. I didn't really understand what I liked or what was best for me to climax. Try talking to your partner and experimenting. It definitely sounds like you need to relax a little, which is easier said then done, I know. My husband was my only partner (I'm 20 now) and at first it was very uncomfortable. Is your partner larger down there? My husband is and that was very uncomfortable. Maybe you could try a lubricant to help you relax a little. When we started using a lubricant sex got better so much so that now I usually orgasm before he does. So I would recommend trying that to help you relax a little and go slowly. Tell him to start off slow so that your body can relax. Try different things together, find what works for both of you. It's definitely worth it.

Answer 5

you might be too young. or maybe you are too tense and are so focused on orgasming that you dont, OR lts of life little (and big) stresses also cause people too not orgasm. just try to stay focused on the pleasure and the special connection you're sharing with eachother, and try not to think about orgasming, just...let it happen. hope this helps! :D

Answer 6

I agree with the first couple answers, booze always helps loosen things!

Answer 7

yea lots of booze.

Answer 8

booze