What is wrong with my relationship?

Question

What is wrong with my relationship?
OK. We are a gay couple.
I am 21 and he is 32, yeah i know the age difference probably plays a role in this somewhere.
I have done things in the past to make him not trust me.(lieing)
We broke up recently and I moved away for a few days, he thinks I fooled around, but the fact is I didn't. I just wanted him back in my life. I love him.He is always going throught the cookies on the computer to see what i have been doing or talking to, the fact is I have never cheated and would never cheat on him.
I love him with all my heart. He on the other hand has cheated on someone before but not on me. Should I be worried that he is wanting someone else? He doesn't show me affection hardly ever anymore, it takes a crow bar to get him to say I love you - without me saying it first. I mean what do I do? How do I get through to him?How can I fix my mistakes?How can I get him to trust me?
Does he love me?Does he want me?
or does he want someone else?

Answer 1

Honey...you need to re-kindle the fire....sounds like you need to lure him back in and woo him. a nice dinner, soft music, candle light and throw pillows on the floor next to the fireplace or next to an open window with the full moon in sight. caress and lure him like you did when you first met. That should spark up and relight your fire. Age makes no difference, make sure you start over with a clean slate and bring up no past. Make the bed a little more sexy, (Do you sleep in the nude?) if not try it.....It's very sexual...It will get him begging for more...Just remember, try new things to keep the relationship going...It will, surprise you..What are his dislikes and likes. What are his fantasies...Try them...

Answer 2

Maybe he just finds you annoying - i don't mean that in a nasty way at all, because I can be really irritating, and people can't put up with me for long if I talk too much or flirt a lot or stay up all night on the PC, and if he's older then maybe he's just into more serious stuff and he's trying to politely break up with you.

No, that sounds horrible, it could be that he's insecure, because he's older and he might think that you're more likely to cheat, and it could be making him scared, especially if you lied before (and I've done PLENTY of things I wish I hadn't that have hurt people), so perhaps he's trying to keep a distance so he doesn't get too hurt.

Or he could be a control-freak type of person, I had one of those once, and it was a nightmare, he wouldn't let me see my friends and he was really possessive and jealous, but he always said he loved me and that was why he was scared of losing me, so that doesn't sound exactly like your guy.

I don't know, really, but if he never shows you affection then maybe he wants out and you should call it a day before it gets worse. (And believe me, it DOES get worse).

I don't think anyone else can answer this, you probably need to talk it out with him. I hope it goes well, anyway, and good luck.

Answer 3

Straight or gay; same difference. My marriage fell apart once trust became the issue. Trust is just about everything and not easily repaired. In addition, it certainly sounds has though your partner is growing more distant. You need a heart-to-heart, straight from the shoulder talk to take stock.
I hope not for your sake, but it sounds as though your relationship might be fading. You know that you can't hold a relationship together with crow bars. I know that I found that out. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Since it's taking a crow bar to get him to say those three little words, chances are he's not feeling them at all. Find someone else that will appreciate the love you give and will love you unconditionally in return. Underline "unconditionally." And try to cut down on the lying, use only in emergency situations like "Does this make me look fat?" Good luck in finding a new love.

Answer 5

I think he's manifesting his want to be with someone else on you. He's putting the blame on you to make you feel that you don't deserve him, and so that you will break things off with him in the end. In reality, it is he who has found someone else. He just does not want the blame on him. I'm sorry to speak so bluntly, but I've been there before. I was in your guy's shoes before. That's exactly what I did to my ex. I'm not proud of it at all, but it's something I have to live with. I do hope I'm wrong in your case. Try talking things out with him. I believe anything can be reconciled with a little talk. G'luck.

Answer 6

Sounds to me like you both need to set down and have a real heart to heart talk and be honest with each other. Sounds like the big issue is trust. If your trust in each other has been distroyed the you need to work on rebuilding it, If you can't rebuilt your trust in each other then you should probebly go your seprate ways

Answer 7

How would have solved this issue before Yahoo answers? I ask because thinking that a bunch of absolute strangers online can deal with your relationship problems better than YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND can is just far, far too lame.

What do you do? Get off of Yahoo and deal with the actual person.
How do you get thru to him? Verbally.
How can you fix your mistakes? By taking action.
How can you get him to trust you? By being trustworthy.
Does he love you? Ask him.
Does he want you? Ask him.
Does he want someone else? Ask him.

Jeez.

Answer 8

once you lie to someone, it's hard to get the trust back. but checking the computer for cookies to see what you might have been doing is really disrespectful. sounds like you need to have a talk with him...ask him the questions you asked here.

Answer 9

well for good reasons neither of you believes or trusts the other one...that's a pretty rocky road to keep driving on...maybe you two had better have a REAL talk about what's going on...like tell the truth to each other.

Answer 10

I won't pretend to understand his psychology. However you need to take the opportunity to move on with your life. This man does not love you, and possibly cannot love anyone.