my girlfriend and i are moving in together shortly. i've some photos from before her which have an ex in them and she wants me to get rid of them. i don't want to as they are of good times. concerts, trips etc. what would you do?
2006-10-26 12:29:30 · 18 answers · asked by kenoneill28 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i still have photos from boyfriends when i was 15!!and even though i dislike these people i like to look back at them and remember things whether good or bad and if any one i dated did not like it then tough luck!!keep them...she doesnt own you x
2006-10-26 12:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one to answer.
If she is threatened by you past, then are you going to erase it so that she will feel more secure and settled with you?. If she is feeling threatened and insecure by your past, then that is not going to be a very healthy life together unless she accepts that you had other girlfriends and want to keep memorable pictures.
All you can do is reassurre her that you are genuinely over this girl (assumming that you are) but that you have the right to memories of your past. If you are hanging onto them because you still feel unresolved love for this girl, then that is a different story and being in a relationship with this new one isn't the right thing because she will sense it as women can.
jelousy is a destructive emotion. If you carry these pictures on you or have them on a wall or in a frame, then understandabley she will feel very upset because it's as if you haven't moved on from her. But if they are tucked away in a safe place, then she will have to come to terms with that and accept that you had a life before her but that you are now with her and genuinely wanting to be.
It will be her problem if you are totally over this girl and just keep the pictures as a memory file and that she will have to do some work on her insecurity with you because that can grow if she does not accept that you have the right to keep memories of your life as she has the same right. But only if you are honest with yourself and her that you really are over this other girl. Some people can take a long time to get over someone they really loved and they can hold onto things for that reason, but if you are sure that you really are moved on, then get your girlfriend to deal with the problem as it will both your lives miserable if not.
2006-10-26 12:48:00 · answer #2 · answered by Shikira-trudi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those pics were a part of your life, yes, they remind you of good times but lifes about the future, the past is something that you can think about any time, put them away, in a loft/shed, and get them out to look at now and again maybe just to see how your life has changed for the better and remember how you have learned from those times that you had with those people.
2006-10-26 21:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by Unhinged.... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give the same typical advice. Ask a family member to put them away/keep them for you. Someone you can truly trust.
Tell your girl they are put away and explain very clearly like you did here...they are fun times. Memories. We all need them. She nor any other woman wouldn't want them in the house but reassure her that you do not want them to remind you of your ex but to remind you of your life. If she is the one you will spend the rest of your life with. Someday, when you are both old and grey, looking at those photos...even she will enjoy.
T
2006-10-26 12:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by ~*bUtteRFy~*~kISSeS*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have good and bad past memories, you should explain this to her and say that this is all the photos are, a memory of your past-life and if means nothing now but you would like to keep them. As long as you let her keep memorable photos too and neither of you bring them up at anytime.
2006-10-26 12:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by mistickle17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her they are your past and she is your future so that she should not feel jealous of your past, I still have photos of my ex husband and have been married to this one for 25 years as long as they are put away and not out on the side she should feel OK.
2006-10-26 16:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by gabby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep them. She needs to get used to the fact that you had a love life before her. Just dont sit looking at them sighing longingly lol
2006-10-26 12:40:53 · answer #7 · answered by huggz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
respect her wishes and dont put these up - you dont have to destroy them - put them in a box out of sight - but your ex is in the past - and you need to concentrate on the future with your new girlfriend. xx
2006-10-26 20:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a member of your family to look after them, after all they're your history. I still have pictures of all my exes.
2006-10-26 12:31:56 · answer #9 · answered by biacol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't get rid of them either. They are your possessions and memories of your life. Box them up and keep them safe.
2006-10-26 13:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by jammer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋