My daughters father and I have been friends for 15 yrs and we fooled around and I have a beautiful daughter...the DNA results are finally in....9 yrs later...and he is the dad....he wants to get to know her, spoil her, show her everything she missed becuz of our mistakes....however...she doesnt want to see him
he met us at the park and she hid the whole time...
any ideas on getting her to at least give him a chance?
2006-10-26 12:11:59 · 12 answers · asked by Renee Ware 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Oh hun,
It will work out in the end,,all you have to do is continue these little meetings in the park,,and maybe give Dad a few pointers as to what her favorite things are,,,toys,interests,,food,,t.v,shows,,you know things like that,,it might just do the job.
Good luck hun,,,,everything will work out for the best I am sure of it.
2006-10-26 12:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by ladydi_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already screwed up your chance.....
Did you introduce this guy as her father, or your friend? After nine years she probably was pretty cool with the fact that she doesn't have a father and if you force this guy on her it will really screw up the entire relationship.
She has to want to know who her father is, before you can tell her.
If when she wants to know, it just happens to be this guy that you guys have fun with, then it will be fine with her, and in fact it might be great for her.
If the secret is out, its going to have to be a real slow process. He can probably send her christmas presents and birthday presents for a while before trying to make her a friend. Maybe by next summer you guys can have a picnic or a fun time on the beach, sooner if she wants to. Let her set the pace though. I feel for the guy, I would want to be in her life too, but not at the risk of loosing her, for him and possibly for you.
2006-10-26 13:19:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's shy around him. Find something you all can do together: movie trip, going to the zoo, indoor picnic, or going to the park. Let her get to know him in her own time. Clue HIM in to what she likes to do, watch, eat, read, favorite hobbies, that kind of thing.
Just give her time and answer any question she asks about him as honestly as you can. She'll appreciate it and you'll both feel better in the long run.
Good luck.
2006-10-26 12:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lizzie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on outings that include the three of you so she doesn't feel intimidated by being alone with him. She'll eventually warm up to him. I have a step son that I met when He was 11 and it took time for us to get close. He was very shy at first but his father and i took him to movies and parks and he had alot of fun.
2006-10-26 12:23:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont push it. Maybe invite him over to your house for dinner with a couple of your friends and let her invite a friend so it's not so awkward. Just ease her into it. Maybe she will come around eventually. Did she know him before she knew him as her dad? Are you married? Does she have someone she calls dad other than him?
And talk to her and listen to what she says...
2006-10-26 12:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Little Miss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her warm up to him. Just because you know him, doesn't mean she does. She is still very young and he is a complete stranger to her, not to mention a male, which can be tough for her. Give it time, and spend time with the two of them, gradually give him visitations with just her. Not because you don't trust him, just because she may be scared. Good luck to you on this hun.
2006-10-26 12:15:21 · answer #6 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't force her... she'll come around in time. have him around her with a lot of other people around so she's not pressured to talk to him. have him send gifts or other little things to show her that he's really an ok guy. talk to her about him, but don't shove it down her throat... it's gonna take time, and a lot of patience for all of you. she'll get to know him when she's ready.
2006-10-26 12:36:06 · answer #7 · answered by gizmo_chik04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let time play out in time shes going to want to know him.
2006-10-26 13:18:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont push her to do something that she doesnt want to do. She may warm up to him after a while. Give her time. Hope this helps!
2006-10-26 12:35:02 · answer #9 · answered by lil_danca06 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do not force her on the issue.she may want to get to know him someday
2006-10-27 04:22:07 · answer #10 · answered by stefan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋