I feel like the more I give him sex maybe he will wake up and realize that I love him more than any one ever will, He is not perfect but he is the best man I've ever had, he saved me and helped and supported me through my recovery from addiction, but he says he still loves me but he's not "in- love" and he's not sure if he ever was, He also says that our sex together is the best he's ever had and that he had/has more feelings for me than he has ever had for any one in his past relationships. He says its him and not me, that he dosen't think he deserve to be loved. I still Love him something crazy, I can't move until spring cause we live in a little town and it will take me about 6 months to save up enough money to move, he says I can stay here as long as I need to and that its not another woman. I feel like: I'm good enough to sleep with but not good enough to love? some help plz. thanks.I do have 4 kids but none are by him. He ahs 2 girls and they come on the weekends, they adore me!?
2006-10-26 12:09:25 · 10 answers · asked by Missy S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
as hard as it is, you just need to buy a vibrator and not have sex with him-- as hard as that is!!! try to satisfy you needs in other ways. then, he will either realize that he can't use you anymore... or he might realize how much he does love you and wants to be with you once the sex is gone.
also, love goes through many changes throughout a relationship. you can fall in and out of love with someone throughout the course. the key is to understand that and work on things when this happens. if you just give up & throw it all away when this happens, you will never have a long-term relationship. he needs to work on his relationship with you. it is a voluntary thing, though. so, if he doesn't want to do this, then you can't do anything to change his mind but explaining this to him.
yet, i do think he has to really love you in order to let you stay there as long as you need to.... yes, very confusing...
but, you just can't keep sleeping with him when he has broken up with you... it will only hurt you... sorry.
good luck no matter what happens...
2006-10-26 12:13:15 · answer #1 · answered by christy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'd stay, begin sleeping in another room. He is a room mate not a bf anymore. No sex no matter what. He's taking the vulnerability you have towards him to his advantage. You can be greatfull in other ways for him helping you, but he has to understand if he doesn't love you he shouldn't play aroudn with your mind. It's cruel and unfair to you. You need to go somewheres esle as soon as you can. It's not a healthy environment for you in the effect that you are being used. You need to have your space away from him and begin to take your new lease you have on life (addiction free, congratulations by the way) and do a few things. One you have to let him go, your feelings will still be there and it will take you some time. Get togeather with people who are close to you. When your ready find someone who will care about you and not use you. Don't go back to old habits. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-26 19:18:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation and here is what I learned. If you keep sleeping with him, it is gonna be harder for you to let go and he is gonna use that to his advantage. It's so crazy, because when you sleep with him you probably are making love and he is just having sex. That sucks, but it's what it is. If he isn't in love with you no more then I suggest that you stop giving it up. If you two are cool enough to be "roommates" then cool. Creat boundaries and don't sleep with him. Maybe sooner or later he'll realize what he is missing and he'll come back around to understanding why he was in love with you in the first place. Good luck!
2006-10-26 19:14:54 · answer #3 · answered by alugo_19 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you sound like my aunt. with the boy troubles and all. he sounds like a nice man but if he cant be in love with you but can have sex with you and be in love with your sex its not worth it, he sounds like he's using you i know you probabaly dont feel like that because its different right? well thats just how it seems when you make your decision dont just let him keep using you put your foot down but keep him as a friend if thats still possible then you could still see his 2 girls good luck && keep me posted
2006-10-26 19:14:58 · answer #4 · answered by mypupismylove 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you get to know him again? Hold off on sex and see what he is thinking about being with you again.
2006-10-26 19:16:50 · answer #5 · answered by wondering 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do yourself a favor and MOVE. You should never have to convince a man that he should love you.
2006-10-26 19:26:34 · answer #6 · answered by strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u and he wants it i would go for it and have a baby i almost haved ababy.if u love him and he loves u should have it
2006-10-26 19:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
The problem???
2006-10-26 19:12:05 · answer #8 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take his money and MOVE!!!!
2006-10-26 19:13:46 · answer #9 · answered by B rabit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do the nasty.
2006-10-26 19:13:28 · answer #10 · answered by And King Cotton said, " 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋