What strategies do you use when cornered or bullied?

Question

Most people are on the receiving end of some kind of bullying in their lives, so if you have been, do you have a method that is successful in dealing with such a situation?

Dear samycat, to answer you question, I did my psych degree in the UK about 6 years ago. Still interested in people though, I guess old habits die hard.

Answer 1

parent - child - adult. a bully will behave like an adult, a victim of it will behave like a child, if in the initial exchange you speak to the aggressor as an adult, in a calm, controller voice they will revert to an adult..

failing that and is a gang of them take out the biggest one, the rest are sheep.... you be king of the hill.

go ge them tiger...

JD

Answer 2

That's why I've taken boxing lessons off and on since I was 16, and workout at the Gym five days a week. If some poor soul makes the mistake of bullying me, he's in for the worst day of his life! I'm an adherant of diplomacy, of course, especially since I'm going into psychology, but I won't abide bullies; I've detested them since I was a kid. And I won't abide being physically threatened.
In fact, the only time in my life I spent a night in jail was because once, about four years ago, I intervened on a guy hitting his girlfriend outside of a bar and when all was said and done I threw him through a plate glass window. LOL (The cops cleared all this up the next day though and I was never charged!)

Answer 3

Either:
A: stay completely calm and talk in a slightly disinterested voice about why they feel the way they do about you the way they do. Add some Freudian interpretation into your analysis for bonus insult points.This can so bemuse them that they'll just stand there confused while you nip past and leg it.

B: Act or go psycho, complete with mutterings, twitching and general Gollum like behaviour. Most bullies won't attack someone that could actually hurt them, they'll edge away away from you if you come close, giving you plenty of time to peg it. (this worked great when i was at school)

C: Aim for the legs, leave them sprawling on the floor while make a getaway.

D: If they get you in headlock, sink your teeth into their arm. they'll be so shocked they'll let go and you can peg it. (works a treat this one, especially against bigger bullies

Edit:
oh if all else fails...

E: Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

Answer 4

Laugh back at them. It works! Took me a long time to figure this out & by that time didn't really need to defend myself from bullies any more. They can dish it out, but sure cant take it. Try it & watch them slink away with their tails between their legs.

I know some will say this is cruel. Poor poor bullies dont deserve a taste of their own medicine boo hoo! If anything maybe it will teach them how it feels, maybe just maybe they will learn to be better people because of it.

Answer 5

I was bullied by a girl for 10 years and told her parents several times, which you'd expect to be the proper thing to do, but she lied so well that she got away with it. The worst thing is, she treated her step-dad very badly too and yet even though her parents knew what she was like they wouldn't listen to what I told them about her. I fully understand why some people murder their tormentors. Should I have said that?

Answer 6

I used to back down and take it, internalise it and then get miserable.

Now... I just either ignore it or throw it straight back, regardless of consequence.
School yard bullying left me living in fear at school, and at home from age 5 to 14... a life lived in fear ? Not for me.
Sadly when I was 14 I changed schooling method, and became a boarder.... whereupon I was bullied for two years, then, when the older bullies left, I became (to my utter shame) just as bad as they had been.

I have learned that lesson... I left school with very few friends. I apologised to as many as I could, but I have never seen some of those guys again, and I really wish I could apologise to Sitel Thakar... I must have made his life a hell on earth.

So anyway, I dealt with it by becoming one myself, but thankfully I grew out of it.

Answer 7

I learnt a hard lesson when i was about 7. I was sitting on the wall with 2 of my friends when this group of older girls who always used to pick on us came up to us. This time they verbally started on my friend. I just sat there. They then moved to me. I dont know where it came from, but it came, the ring leader was standing right in front of me jeering at me etc, with this amazing energy i kicked her right into the stomach really hard, God knows where the strength came from. The girl doubled up and muttered something, i then said to 1 of the others, your turn now? They all went off. That day changed me for the rest of my life. I never would be bullied again.

Answer 8

I faced a bully once in my life.

I was young and it was a long time ago in a foreign land.

Someone told me to tell this person to "Put up or shut up!"

I was scared as heck! But I did it. And you know what.

I got a black eye but I also gave as good as I got! The bully went down but I did not!

Bullyies are lame!

Here is a place that may help anyone who had to deal with a bully:
http://www.bully.org/

Answer 9

Take a big breath in, Look your tormentor or tormentors in the eye, this will show them that you are not willing to become victims of there anti social behaviour, Bullies are cowards first and only pick on persons there believe will secome to there tactics. so if you appear strong enough to take them on they will back off. If that fails go up a gear and become the aggressor you be amazed how quick they will disappear. Sometimes the first line of defence has to be attack.

Answer 10

My daughter was bullied for 2 years consantly by a neighbour. This year I had enough and advised my daughter to just say, "why don't you bully someone that is going to be bothered by it because I'm not anymore". It worked!!! The bully hasn't been near her since. Wahooooooo!!

Answer 11

1. Always, Always Always have exit stratagies - PREPARE TO LEAVE and LEAVE

"I need to go to my office to get the file on that"

"I have to go, I have an appointment with my local Police Officer as I am on the Zero Tolerance violence and aggression committee"

"Must go my karate class starts soon"

2. Keep a safe distance - always more than an arms length if not sure

3. Stand sideways on to people so they can exit and so can you

4. Frustration leads to anger and that lead to aggression and finally violence - pick up on signals and de-escalate or defuse the situation

5. smile and keep eye contact - without appearing to be manic

6. match voice to voice and try to get them to hear you are not scared - be assertive not aggressive

7. People will try to dehumanise you to make it easier to attack, watch out for name calling

8. Watch how they are standing, face on, legs trembling and clenching fists are dead give away as they "power up" to attack

9. Empathise not sympathise, "I can see how this is upsetting you" as opposed to "Sorry you are upset"

10. Never ever get cornered, raise your voice for help, there are Good Samaritans out there - HONEST

Good Luck